No. 1 stays that way: Ohio St. drubs Texas

Buckeyes score easily and keep Texas in single digits for the 1st time in 9 years, 24-7

Troy Smith is a bona-fide Heisman candidate after his 269 yd, 2 TD performance against the Longhorns

In the end the matchup did not live up to the enormous hype, and that's because (the #) one team is clearly better than the other.

Ohio St. rolled into Austin chomping at the bit to get rid of the bad taste in their mouths from the Longhorns 25-22 victory in Columbus last year. Although the Buckeyes lost that game, QB Troy Smith gained an enormous amount of national attention & respect after he came off the bench and nearly guided the Buckeyes to victory.

It turns out his experience and savvy was the difference in the game tonight as Smith simply outplayed and outclassed Longhorn greenhorn Colt McCoy (a Texas QB name if there ever was one). The freshman was harassed all night by the supposed weak link in the Buckeye armor, the defense, especially Soph. LB James Laurinitis. He caused a fumble as Texas was about to score, and after the Buckeyes drove down the field Smith threw a TD to Anthony Gonzalez, who had a huge game(8 rec, 143 yds, 1TD) opposite Ted Ginn. 7-0 OSU after 1.

But after Smith overshot Ginn on what would have been a wide-open 70-yd TD, the Longhorns got the ball back and mounted their best drive of the game. McCoy mixed it up and moved the chains, especially when CB Marcus Jenkins got burned on a couple of passes. But the real break came when Texas had a 3rd & 5 from the 9,and as McCoy released the ball, which was batted down in the end zone, DE Jason Richardson steamrolled him and was whistled for a roughing the passer penalty. A bogus, home-field call if there ever was one, although OSU Coach Jim Tressel said he understood the ref was trying to protect the QB. Texas went on to score their 1st, and turns out only, TD of the game and it was tied at 7 with about 2 minutes to go in the half.

That's when Smith & Ginn went into Heisman campaign mode. Smith tossed 2 completions to Gonzalez and 1 to Ginn to get to the Texas 29 with 22 seconds left in the half. Next play Smith lofts a beauty to the corner of the end zone, and Ginn just blew by his man for a back-breaking 29-yd TD at the half.

That's what #1 teams, and special players do.

The 2nd half started with Texas receiving the ball with a chance to even the score. They had the ball at their 31 and were driving. But then the wheels fell off the Longhorn wagon as Joe Gantz stepped in front of a McCoy pass at the 44 and returned it to the Texas 21.

Although they had to settle for a 31-yd FG, the emotional damage was done and it was clear to all those in Burnt Orange Nation- including Skybox buddies Matthew McConaghey & Jake Gyllenhaal, Lance Armstrong and even Bevo that this team was NOT the same team that won the National Championship last season, nor will it win one this season.

No that team had a Heisman-quality QB who could beat you with his arm, legs, and mind. Funny thing is, that sounds exactly like Ohio State's QB this season.

Notes: The last time Texas lost was, ironically, 2 years ago to the day, 12-0 at Oklahoma. Their 22 game winning streak had been the longest in the nation. That distinction now belongs to TCU (1).

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College Football: Games to Watch today

Texas QB Colt "45" McCoy and Ohio St. Heisman hopeful Troy Smith

Of course THE game to watch tonight, and what could be the game of the year if last years' battle in Columbus is any indication, is 1Ohio St @ 2Texas. But that game doesn't come on till 8 tonight, so in the meantime, here are 5 games to catch the eye of this college football fan:

-19Penn St. @ 4 Notre Dame, 3:30 The Irish nearly had their title hopes dashed early when they squeaked by Georgia Tech in Atlanta 14-10 last week. But Heisman candidate QB Brady Quinn will have to step it up today to outduel the Nitny Lions'

Anthony Morelli and a fired up Penn St. squad. This is the first meeting between the 2 perennial powerhouses in the last 14 years.

MY PICK: Irish 31, Lions 28

- 18 Clemson @ Boston College,3:30 The last time the Tigers ventured to Chestnut Hill a young Doug Flutie was the QB for the Eagles. Well now Junior Matt Ryan will guide the team against a Clemson squad who lost electrifying QB Charlie Whitehurst to the NFL, and replaces him with inexperienced senior Will Proctor. Look for the Eagles to be ranked after this one

MY PICK: Eagles 24, Tigers 17

- 12Georgia @ South Carolina, 7:45 Although Spurrier's Cocks are coming off a shutout of Miss. St. they only scored 15 points and had a measly 274 total yards, 84 rushing. That won't be good enough to get it done against a tough Bulldog squad, although Coach mark Richt used 3 QBs in last weeks' 48-12 whipping of W. Kentucky. This one should be a good one to establish early dominance in the brutal SEC East; I think the Head Cock finds a way to get this big one at home.
MY PICK: Gamecocks 17, Bulldogs 14

- Minnesota @ 22 Cal, 7 The Golden Bears were embarrassed last week by a Vol-unteer team that chewed up then-9th ranked Cal and spit them out, 35-18. Senior QB Joseph Ayoob will have to be on his game to defeat a stubborn Minny squad that shut out lightweight Kent St. in their opener last wee. But the Gophers 260-lb. running back Alex Daniels will give the Cal "D" a tough test, the same "D" that gave up over 500 yards to the Vols. Cal needs this one bad, though, and Minnesota is a long way from Berkeley.

MY PICK: Bears 38, Gophers 28

- 1Ohio St. @ 2Texas, 8 This is like Christmas in September for all of us ravenous college football fans: the earliest #1 v. #2 matchup ever and the first one since the 1Noles and 2Gators met in November 1996. It has all the makings of a classic: the Longhorns are the defending National Champs and beat the Buckeyes last year in Columbus on a late TD by Vince Young, although Ohio St. stud QB Troy Smith came off the bench to lead the Buckeyes back into the game and proved himself to be a Heisman-caliber signal caller. Plenty of media attention, star power on & off the field and over 85,000 burnt-orange clad loonies with their index finger & pinky raised waving the 'hook-em-Horns salute will be tough for OSU to overcome, but the experience and playmakers of the Buckeyes should bring them a payback victory.

MY PICK: Buckeyes 24, Longhorns 21

Ginn is juiced

hook'em horns

Sweed is sweet

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This one hurts: Sox lose 4th straight to KC

Playoff hopes are fading fast after Sox stage 6-run comeback in the 8th only to lose in the 9th.

Gathright is making a bid for the Sox Killers Club

Words can't really describe the pain of the gut-punch the Sox took tonight thanks to the lethal combo of pesky Royals and a washed-up closer.

After falling behind the lowly Royals, current owners of THE WORST RECORD IN BASEBALL, by a score of 8-3, the Boston boys staged a furious 8th inning rally to charge back in front. The 6-run outburst was started by the Captain, who knocked a 2-run shot off Scott Dohmann to close the gap to 8-5. That ignited the spark, and next thing you know players were circling the bases like a Ringling Bros. routine, capped by a clutch (of course) 2-run, 2-out single by Big Papi to put Boston ahead, 9-6. Bedlam in Beantown. Papi's heart seemed just as large and giving as ever tonight as he went 3-5 w/ a double, triple & 4 RBI.

Ah but these are not the feel-good days of September 2004, when miraculous comebacks like this were capped off by clutch saves, dancing & dousing. But then again, Mike "Spaghetti Arm" Timlin wasn't the closer then;unfortunately due to Papelbon's shoulder injury, Ole Rubber Arm is the closer now. In crunch time. Of a playoff race. At age 76. With 45,000 innings on his arm.

Before you can say Steamer Stanley the Royals got the first 2 men on in the 9th, via a single and HBP; that's how you want your closer to start the 9th! After a sacrifice moved the runners to 2nd & 3rd, Timlin did get a huge strikeout of Shane Costa, and Boston was 1 out away from a huge, morale-boosting win.Then speedy Joey Gathright stepped up; he almost had to come out of the game after twisting his ankle on Papi's triple and had collected 2 hits already.

The Devil Ray castoff battled Timlin before squeezing a ball down the rightfield line that fell inside the chalk for a demoralizing, humiliating, crippling 2-run double, and when Ryan Shealy crossed the plate with the 10th run it took the entire oxygen supply out of the Greater Boston Area.

And so the Sox Magical Misery Tour of 2006 chugs towards the finish line. It seems that no matter how hard they try, there are forces working against this team that will not allow them to enjoy any kind of semi-success at this important time of the season. Call it boomerang karma from the WS celebration, a voodoo curse from Judas Demon, or just plain old back luck.

But on this dreary evening you can call it the fault of an over-the-hill pitcher who has nothing left to give this team except heartache and pain.

PATS/BILLS, SUNDAY @ 1.

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Howard on a (MVP) mission

Look hard enough Ryan & you'll see that trophy

This kid is just making hitting home runs look too easy and not voting him MVP is going to be VERY hard after tonight.
Ryan Howard blasted his 55th & 56th home runs & drove in all 3 runs, the latter the eventual game-winner in the 8th inning of the Phills 3-2 win over the Marlins.
This freak has hit 28 dingers since the break, disproving that whoever wins the Homerun Derby at the All-Star Game (which Howard did this year) will go into an immediate and prolonged HR drought. Just Bobby Abreu. He has 28 dongs at home, 28 on the road, and 7 in the past week. Did I mention that he's only 27 and in his 2nd full season in the majors?
If he ends up with more than 61,which looks like a lock with the tear he's on, and he's supposedly 'roid-free, the trophy is his. If not, the writers need their urine tested.

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Back to baseball: Sox take on K.C.

This article (click title link) in today's Globe by Gordon Edes is a brillant summary of what kind of season the Sox are in the midst of right now.

Not only are their own players suffering from ailments both serious (cancer & heart problems) and shaky (Man-knee's tweaked knee) but almost every player they've let go of in the past 2 years is coming back to haunt them. And Edes piece doesn't even mention Nomar, with his .308 average and Comeback Player of the Year candidacy or Pedro's dominating first half.

So as the lowly Royals trudge into Fenway for a weekend series that Boston needs to sweep to keep any playoff hopes alive, the team, the fans and the season are in a depression. Remember, the Royals kick- started this month & 1/2-long funk with their 3-game sweep at Fenway in early August. Although the core of the team has returned to the field, there is still the uncertaintity of Pap-elbon's shoulder, Schilling's pulled muscle, and most importantly Lester's impending chemotherapy.

Throw in a little salt on the GM's wounded trades, and as the offseason looms it promises to be a winter of discontent for many of those involved with the Olde Towne Team on Yawkey Way.

Tonight's game: vs. Kansas City 7P
Odalis Perez (5-7, 6.43) vs. Kevin Jarvis (recently acquired from Arizona; 0-2, 9.37- Yikes!)

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More from NFL 2006 Opening Night

The pomp and pageantry was present, along with a giant hanky

Last night's opening game for the 2006 NFL season featured some good play, a bad (non) call, and an so-so pregame show from NBC. Here's my rundown of what went on and what went right & wrong with Kickoff 2006:

-To the surprise of absolutely nobody the first images the fans were treated to on NBC's premiere regular season game in over 5 years were that of Madden 2007. We all know that Madden has long since past the point of being remembered as a credible broadcaster and Hall of Fame coach; he has now crossed into caricature ("BOOM!") and incessant pitch man territory("Ace is the place"). So when the opening montage featured clips from the recent video game bearing his name, while it was not a surprise, it was a tad sickening nonetheless. Just think how many times this season they are going to milk that cash cow in their broad-casts. If they can figure out how to get Madden to able to telestrate the real game using the Madden action, it will be done.

-The NBC pregame show was pretty mellow as far as Opening Night for the reigning Super Bowl Champs go; I'd give it a 5. Nothing tops the Pats opener when the networks & NFL started all of this Thursday night pageantry in 2003. Here's the highs & lows:

LOW- Diddy, or Puffy, or Lip-Synch-y, performing from Miami, then Rascal Flatts live at Three Rivers. Wow. Really got me ready for some football, with some Cristal and a shot of Kentucky whiskey.

HIGH- fireworks over the Three Rivers waterfront and Heinz Field. That display was better than some 4th of July presentations, and as my buddy the River Rat once pointed out, there is no prettier sight than coming up the river and seeing that junction where the stadiums are located- except lit up by a gazillion fireworks. Awesome

HIGH- Former Steeler greats like LC Greenwood and Franco Harris on the field to celebrate the past Championship teams (hmmm, no Terry Bradshaw)

LOW- the unraveling of a giant Terrible Towel along with the 2005 Championship banner. Really, a giant hanky.C'mon, for what?

HIGH- The Bus, Jerome Bettis, arriving on the field in a giant customized school bus to the delight of the fans, and myself. If you look closely he tried to throw Coach Cowher under it again.

HIGH- Pittsburgh Mayor Bob O'Connor, who died last week of brain cancer, was honored in a tribute capped by his son Corey coming on the field and waving a Terrible Towel. Now I saw a use for that giant Hanky.

LOW-Pop singer Pink, looking like a cross between Courtney Love and Keifer Sutherland, singing the new Sunday Night Football anthem to the tune of Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself for Loving You". And I hate NBC for replacing Hank Williams,Jr. with Pink.

All of that pomp and circumstance led into an avalanche of Peyton Manning in an Uncle Rico wig and Reggie Bush vs. Diet Pepsi Machine ads, and by that time I was really ready for some football, to heck with all the ceremony.

Maybe it was just because my team wasn't involved.

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Steelers Good Enough to Hold Off Fins

A non-challenge by Miami enables Pitt to score go ahead TD, win 28-17

"Read the dang rule book, jackass!"

Thanks to a major brain cramp from Dolphins coach Nick Saban, who is a major ass cramp, the Steelers were given a TD that would have been over-turned, leading to their victory over Miami on Opening Night in the NFL.

Trailing 17-14 midway through the 4th quarter after a timeout the Steelers broke the huddle with a beauty of a play call that even Charlie Batch couldn't screw up: from their own 12 yd line they sent bruising tight end Heath Miller out behind the charging linemen and between the secondary; he caught the pass at the 30 and then ran as fast as a man his size can towards the end one. Fins LB Zach Thomas ran out of gas at the 50, but CB Will Allen (the one from Syracuse) ran him down and tripped him up, causing his knee to go down at the 2 yard line before he fell into the end zone. The ref signaled touchdown and the Steeler special teams unit came out for the PAT.

In the booth Michaels and Madden saw the replay and declared what I could see from my couch: that Saban should challenge because Miller was clearly out of bounds. Considering that Batch had fumbled at the goal line earlier in the quarter, there was no guarantee the Steelers would've put the 6 points on the board again.

But Little Hitler waited and waited before throwing the red challenge hanky, apparently waiting for the word from his coaches in the booth. By the time he figured out the call was a no-brainer (even if he lost the challenge, it was near the end of the game) and gently tossed the flag BEHIND the ref and without yelling in his direction something like "HEY, I WANT TO FREAKIN' CHALLENGE THAT CALL", the kick was up and good, the momentum swung into Pittsburgh's favor and the Coach was left WIth egg on his face with no one to blame but himself. Although he has already started blaming his coaching staff (typical).

"We can't challenge something until we see it... so when we saw it in the box I threw the flag. And it was thrown well before they kicked the field goal, and the officials didn't see it... and they said they didn't see it, and I said 'who's fault is that?" Considering the head of officiating clarified that since the league did away with the coach's buzzer a couple of years ago the coach is allowed to go on the field to get the ref's attention on a challenge, I'd say it's your fault, jackass!

After that score made it 21-17 the Fins still had a chance to win the game. Until new QB Daunte "Party Cruise"Culpepper threw two straight INTs, to Troy Polamalu and Joey Porter, the last one a game-sealing 30-yd'er for Porter's 1st career TD.

Porter celebrated in odd fashion, though, by kissing Coach Cowher on the cheek on the sideline. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

All in all it was a pretty entertaining game for a opener in which the Super Bowl- winning QB was on the sidelines acting like the head cheerleader and both QB's turned the ball over in key situations, although Charlie did toss 3 TDs. There were other high points for both teams, and I'll go over those plus my observations from the whole event in my next post tomorrow.

It's just nice to have football back and not have to think about baseball for a night!

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2 HOURS TILL KICKOFF.

MIAMI @ PITTSBURGH TONIGHT @ 8:30PM ON NBC

With the Sox season in a sorry state of disrepair and the Noles having recently dispatched the pesky but punchless Hurricanes (sorry for the alliteration, still have V for Vendetta on the brain) I can say with full confidence that yes, I am ready for some football.

But I am not thrilled about this opener- I saw enough stories about the Steelers last January to make me puke, and without Big Ben this game loses a lot of luster. Throw in the fact that I hate the Dolphins, their Little Hitler coach, their hideous unis and their surgically repaired fun-cruisin' fumble machine Daunte Culpepper and you can see why I'm not exactly chomping at the bit to see this matchup.

Except it's not the actual game or the two teams that gets everyone fired up- it's the symbolism that means fall is near and football is here, good times to be had by all. Well not for football fan wives, but they're used to it by now. Unless they're newlyweds, in which case she will be used to it by the end of this season.

Yes it's the mere fact that after 7 months off we will get to see a meaningful NFL football game tonight. Who cares if the NFL's main network is now NBC, which stole the thunder from ABC & ESPN by taking Monday Night Football and this exclusive Thursday night opener? Who cares if Al Michaels and John Madden jumped ship quicker than you can say" when does Madden '08 come out"?

And who cares that the two teams involved bring absolutely no national interest outside of the Monogahela and South Beach?

Because it's NFL season again, and all is right with the world.

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ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!

THE SEASON KICKS OFF TONIGHT; HERE'S 10 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER:

1.) HOW WILL THE STEELERS DO WITHOUT BIG BEN TONIGHT?
THEY SHOULD BEAT NEW MEDIA DARLING MIAMI AT THREE RIVERS EVEN WITHOUT ROETHLISBERGER, WHO IS OUT AFTER AN EMERGENCY APPENDECTOMY. BUT IF BEN MISSES ANY MORE TIME, BYE-BYE REPEAT. DOES THIS GUY HAVE A CURSE ON HIM OR WHAT THOUGH?

2.) ARE THE PATS DONE CONTENDING FOR THE TITLE?
REPORTS OF THE PATRIOTS DEMISE HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED. SURE THEY'VE LOST SOME TALENT (McGINEST, GIVENS) AND THE BRANCH> HOLDOUT DOESN'T HELP MATTERS. BUT IF I'VE SAID IT ONCE , I'VE SAID IT 1000 TIMES: AS LONG AS THEY HAVE BRADY & BELICHICK THEY'VE GOT A CHANCE TO WIN IT ALL.

3.) WILL THE BUCS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?
EVERYONE LOVES CAROLINA (AGAIN) AND OF COURSE VICK & CO. ARE ALWAYS A FASHIONABLE PICK. BUT IF THE NEW OFFENSIVE LINE, WHICH COULD START 2 ROOKIES (JOSEPH & TRUEBLOOD) CAN CONTROL THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, LET SIMMS PASS & CADDY RUN, THE BUCS HAVE A DECENT SHOT. I HAVE THEM AT 10-6, WITH THEIR LOSSES BEING @ ATL, CIN, @NYG, @CAR, @DAL, @PIT, SEA, WHICH SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO GET IN. MAYBE. (BOLD PREDICTION, I KNOW)

4.)WHICH ROOKIE WILL MAKE THE BIGGEST IMPACT?
OF COURSE IT DEPENDS ON WHO PLAYS THE MOST. REGGIE BUSH WILL GET PLENTY OF TOUCHES & FIGURES TO BE THE SMART CHOICE; VINCE YOUNG IS APPARENTLY LIGHT YEARS FROM BEING READY TO GUIDE A TEAM, YET MAY START SOONER THAN LATER. BUT WHEN KURT WARNER GETS CRUMPLED LIKE A SCHLITZ CAN IN A BIKER BAR I THINK LEINART STEPS AND LEADS THE TALENTED AND HUNGRY CARDINALS TO A PLAYOFF BERTH.

5.)WHAT ABOUT BUSH'S SAINTS?
IT WILL BE EXCITING TO SEE THE BELEAGUERED SAINTS FINALLY PLAY AN ACTUAL HOME GAME, NOT A ROAD HOME GAME, WHEN THEY TAKE THE SUPERDOME FIELD ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL SEPT. 25 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE POST-KATRINA ERA. THERE IS EXCITEMENT SURROUNDING THE TEAM WITH THE ACQUISITION OF QB DREW BREES FROM SAN DIEGO AND OF COURSE DRAFTING THE ELECTRICFYING BUSH. SO THEY SHOULD BE FUN TO WATCH, BUT AS FAR AS A WINNING RECORD, WELL THAT MIGHT BE A BIT MUCH TO ASK FOR. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE NEW "AMERICA'S TEAM".

6.) SPEAKING OF AMERICA'S TEAM, HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?
I GIVE IT TILL ABOUT WEEK 5 BEFORE PARCELLS AND T.OWENS HAVE A FULL-ON EXPLOSION WHICH COULD RESULT IN SOMEONE GETTING HURT. THE BLEDSOE- OWENS MELTDOWN SHOULD BE JUST AS FUN. I PREDICT BY MIDSEASON T.O. WILL DEFECATE ON THE COWBOY STAR WHICH WILL PROMPT OWNER JERRY JONES TO SHIP HIM BACK TO SAN FRANCISCO.

7.)IS CARSON PALMER REALLY THE BEST QB IN THE LEAGUE?
ACCORDING TO MANY 'EXPERTS' HE IS. I GUESS JUST BECAUSE HE CAME BACK FROM A MANGLED KNEE AND THREW A COUPLE OF TD PASSES IN A PRESEASON GAME HE EARNED THAT TITLE? BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING ABOUT THE 2 BEST QBs: THE WINNER(BRADY) AND STAT BOY (MANNING). UNTIL BOTH OF THEM RETIRE, THERE'S NO WAY PALMER IS BETTER-ESPECIALLY WITH A REPAIRED KNEE.

8.)WHICH TEAMS ARE READY TO MAKE THE PLAYOFF LEAP?
WELL I'VE ALREADY MENTIONED THE CARDINALS, WHICH IS A TEAM I & EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT WAS READY LAST YEAR. BUT WITH LEINART, EDGE JAMES, A NEW STADIUM W/ ACTUAL FANS IN IT AND THOSE STUD RECEIVERS (BOLDIN & FITZGERALD), THEY ARE MY PICK FOR THE 2ND STRAIGHT YEAR. OTHERS EXPERTS LIKE MIAMI W/ CULPEPPER AND BALTIMORE, WHO FINALLY HAS A REAL QB (McNAIR). BUT I LOOK FOR CULPEPPER'S KNEE TO WILT IN THE SOUTH FLORIDA HEAT, AND McNAIR IS ONE BIG HIT AWAY FROM A RETIREMENT PARTY, SO MY SECOND SURPRISE TEAM IS...DETROIT- ALL HAIL NUDE DRIVERS!

9.)WHICH TEAMS ARE IN TROUBLE?
DETROIT- I FEEL BAD FOR NEW COACH ROD MARINELLI, A FORMER BUCS ASSISTANT WHO HAS HIS HANDS FULL IN D-TOWN. THEY RELEASED FORMER #1 PICK RECEIVER CHARLES RODGERS, THEIR ASSITANT COACH JUST GOT ARRESTED FOR DRIVING NUDE, AND THE STILL HAVE MATT MILLEN AS THE GM. BAD SIGNS, ROD, BAD SIGNS. OTHER TEAMS TO CRUMBLE INCLUDE MINNY, GREEN BAY(OF PIGS), & THE JETS, WHO ARE OLDER AND MORE BANGED UP THAN FARRAH FAWCETT>

10.)OUT ON A LIMB PREDICTIONS:
*ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: REGGIE BUSH- TOO MANY WAYS FOR HIM TO HURT YA
*MAKES THE PLAYOFFS: ARIZONA
*WON'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS- MIAMI
*MVP: BRADY HE'LL DO MORE WITH LESS AND EARN THE ACCOLADES HE DESERVES
*SUPER BOWL: PATRIOTS VS. BUCS (NAH, I'M NOT A HOMER!)

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Say no-no: Sox suffer two defeats tonight

Not only did Chicago pound Boston 8-1, former Boston prospect Anibal Sanchez threw a no-hitter for the Marlins

The night was ugly enough inside the walls of Fenway for the Red Sox on Wednesday night: Chisox hurler Jose Contreras befuddled Boston's annoyingly inept offense to the tune of 8 innings of 4-hit,1-run, 9-strikeout ball; Coco had 3 of the 4 hits, one a home run in the 3rd that saved what could have been another shutout; Sox starter Kyle "Don't call me Bronson" Snyder got lit up like a roman candle (2.3IP, 7H, 5ER), and then Leapin' Lenny DiNardo followed suit(1.2IP, 5H, 3ER).

But the most embarrassing thing that happened to the club last night occurred over 1500 miles away down in sweltering Miami, where rookie righty Anibal Sanchez tossed a no-hitter against Arizona in his 13th career start. Those of us in the Nation know exactly who he is, but for those outside the Green Walls let me remind you that Sanchez was one of the players Boston sent to the Marlins, along with stud SS Hanley Ramirez in the Josh Beckett/Mike Lowell deal. How's that for a slap in the face Theo? Your boy "Ace" Beckett has barely won a game since Independence Day and Lowell is hitting about 30 points less since then as well, and meanwhile this kid you gave up is now 7-2 with a 2.89 ERA for a team in the thick of the Wild Card race. And he pitched the 1st No-No in the ML since the Artist Formerly Known as the Big Unit in 2004 and the 1st rookie since 2001.

Theo, what if I was to tell you that you could have a young arm in your rotation that could actually get people out and contribute to your playoff push this season not in "the future"? Would that be something that you might be interested in?

Excuse me while I go cry into my Jeff Bagwell Pawtucket Red Sox shirt.

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Holy cow, somebody call this guy a cab!

Assistant coach Joe Cullen of the Detroit Lions arrested for drivng nude

Good luck with this one, Marinelli!

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Delmon's Dominating, Dmitri's Dumped

While Devil Ray rookie Delmon Young continues to make major league pitching look silly- he's currently batting .400 (16-45) after a 2-4 night in a win vs. the Twins- older brother Dmitri has reportedly been released by the Tigers.
Although Young spent time earlier in the season on the DL while being treated for alcoholism, Detroit GM Dave Dombrowski cited "strictly performance-related" reasons for the release, and Young left without talking after the Tiger's 5-4 loss at home to Seattle.
Both Dmitri and Delmon have a history of temperamental &/or abusive behavior, and it wouldn't surprise me if somewhere along the line Dmitri's critical views of the team and other off-field issues hastened this decision. Just speculation on my part but to release a guy who has hit 82 home runs and knocked in 267 runs for you since 2002 at this point of the season, right as they playoffs are about to start, well when there's smoke...

Who knows, maybe the Rays will pick him up to spell Travis Lee. If so, hide the women & children of Tampa Bay!

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL WEEK 1 RECAP

1.) 1OHIO ST. LOOKS SOLID

Although they allowed 343 yds to No. Illinois, the offense looked awesome as two Troy Smith to Ted Ginn connections put the Buckeyes up early, led by 28 pts in the 2nd Q and then coasted the rest of the way in the 35-12 win. But the showdown in Austin with the newly crowned #2 Longhorns, a rematch of last years' thrilling Texas victory, will determine if they're really #1. Must see TV Sat at 8, ABC

2.) RANKED#6, USC WAS UNDERRATED

The Heisman Carousel at Southern Cal keeps on spinning as heralded junior John David Booty racked up 263 yds passing & 3 TDs as the Trojans skinned the Razorbacks 50-14 in Fayetteville. Without Leinart & Bush USC still managed to rush for 192 yards & amass 472 yards of offense. But with 5 currently ranked teams left on their schedule we'll see if they're title contenders.


3.) 9 CAL A CONTENDER? 23VOLS SAY HAH!
All the experts seemed to be jumping on the Cal bandwagon this preseason, for reasons yet unclear. The past 3 years they've been unable to beat ranked teams (2-7), especially on the road (0-5). So despite the Vols awful 2005 campaign (5-6, w/ a home loss to Vandy) this game had upset written all over it. Plus you just can't go against 106,000+ orange-clad Tennesseeans.

4.) 2IRISH HAD TO FIGHT FOR WIN @ G.TECH
So much for Charlie Weiss' squad sneaking up on anyone this year. A game Yellow Jacket team gave the Irish all they could handle in Atlanta, leading the media darlings 10-0 late in the first half. But then ND got just enough from their Heisman hopeful QB Brady Quinn, who pushed it in for a 5-yd score before the break, which saved their season before it even started. Luck o' the Irish strikes again.

5.) IS McCLUSTER THE NEXT BUSH?
Diminutive(5'8") Ole Miss tailback Dexter McCluster of nearby Largo High made an impressive splash in his college debut with 268 yards of total offense in the Reb's 28-25 victory over Memphis. With his ability to catch (86yds), run(60 yds), and return kicks (122 yds), this 3-way dynamo gives Ole Miss a versatile weapon. He's small, he's exciting, he's just like Reggie- minus the Trophy.

6.) WHAT DID THE 11NOLES WIN PROVE?
Not sure other than the fact that the Miami retooling of the offense after the 40-3 Sugar Bowl debacle vs LSU didn't work. Either that or FSU's defense is REALLY good, holding the Canes to 134 total yards despite losing 4 starters to the NFL. But if QB Drew Weatherford and RB Lo Booker can get some protection, this offense could surprise some people and should be enough to put the Noles in the ACC Title game again.

7.) 13 L'VILLE WON GAME BUT LOST RB BUSH
The potential title hopes of the Cardinals took a punishing blow when Michael Bush went down with a broken leg in their 59-28 win over Kentucky. Bush was a senior who returned to school only because he was not projected as a top pick in the draft. But as the reigning NCAA scoring leader (14.4 ppg) and with the Birds in the BCS picture his stock figured to rise this year. Now he must decide to redshirt or go pro. A sad tale that illustrates why so many players want to leave school early.

8.) TEXAS TO FACE OSU W/OUT STAR CB
Texas will have to go into the earliest No. 1 vs. No. 2 matchup in NCAA history without the services of star cornerback Tarell Brown, who will be suspended after his arrest on maryjane possession and weapons charges- never a good combo.But will the controversy adversly affect the Longhorns, who have never hosted a 1v2 game, or just bring the team closer together? Texas and its fans better hope it's the latter, or their championship hopes could go...ready for it... up in flames.

9.) WHO WILL BE USF's QB?
When prized QB recruit Carlton Hill was moved to receiver last season, it opened the door for junior Pat Julmiste to take the reigns as the starter. With Hill now off the team, possibly for good, the job was all Julmiste's. But when the Bulls struggled in the first half against lowly McNeese St. & Julmiste went down with a thigh bruise, freshman Matt Grothe stepped in and guided the team to 3 TD's and a win. Julmiste is healthy, but has apparently lost his starting job; hey Pat, you bruise you lose buddy.


10.) 3 GAMES TO WATCH THIS WEEKEND:
> 12Georgia @ So. Carolina: Two SEC Title hopefuls sqaure off in an early test of who's the beast of the SEC East.

> 19 Penn St. @ 4Notre Dame After their scare @ Ga. Tech the Irish better beware of Paterno's Cats

> 1Ohio St. @ 2 Texas An early season treat just like last years' thriller in Columbus; don't miss this BCS knockout game- it should be a great one

Ohio St. QB Troy Smith is out for revenge vs. Texas

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Sox win 1-0 thriller in Papi's 1st game back

They only managed 3 hits, but the karma returned with Big Papi

On a night when a steady rain fell upon Fenway and the Sox' bats again fell silent, somehow, some way the local 9 found a way to pull out a win. Even though Papi was held hitless. Despite recent frequent Pawtucket flyer Kason Gabbard making just his 4th start and Chisox hurler Javier Vazquez pitching like..well, Javier Vazquez of 2001. Despite Tek sitting (planned rest) and Papelbon recovering (sore shoulder) and Lester getting ready for cancer treatment, Boston willed itself to a gritty win. Just like the previous night vs. the defending Champs- you know, the team that swept the Sawx out of last years' playoffs? There was something in the air around Fenway tonight, and not just precipitation- the smell of the playoffs could finally be felt, mixed in with the sausages and beer.

Vazquez handcuffed them tonight for a full 9 innings; his only mistake was a double to Trot (another key hit in his 2nd game back) and single to I'mNotJohnny Crisp that plated the game's only run in the 4th inning. Vazquez' line (8IP, 3H, 1ER, 3BB, 11Ks) was good enough for a "W" 99% of the time. But with the newly renovated Sox, even though they are not back to mashing yet, there are signs that the wounded beast is ready to strike back.

And it is manifesting itself on the field.

Two nights, 2 one-run wins vs. the World Champs.

Two no-name 5th starters beating 2 red-hot aces.

Timlin even pitched a 2-inning save.

6 GB in the Wild Card.

Good times.

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The Crocodile Hunter Killed by Stingray

Thousands gathered in Irwin's home of Queensland to mourn his death

Incredibly saddened by the news that the famed Crocodile Hunter, Steve Irwin, was killed on Monday while filming a Animal Planet special off his native Australia.

While swimming along with a group of large but non-threatening stingrays, Irwin went over the top of one particularly large one. The ray suddenly swung its tail and struck with its poisoned barb, piercing Irwin's chest and heart & killing him almost instantly. These types of deaths are very rare which is perhaps why the veteran animal handler was caught off guard. The whole incident was filmed by crew members of the special.

Irwin's outgoing personality, infectious enthusiasm for nature and colorful Aussie sayings (crikey!) made him one of the most watched personalities on cable and earned him worldwide fame and adoration in the 90's. He even starred in a movie based on his own adventures, Crocodile Hunter: The Collision Course, where he chased down crocs, poisonous snakes and other dangerous creatures of the wild. He was a big hit with kids of all ages, and with adults who enjoyed learning about nature without all the scientific lingo.

The saddest part of the story is that he leaves behind his loyal wife Terri and 2 young children, daughter Bindi, 8, and son Robert, 3. It was while Irwin was filming a special for Bindi & Animal Planet called Dangerous Creatures that the tragedy occurred.

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Papi will play; how 'bout a walk-off?

David Ortiz has been medically cleared to resume playing baseball and will be in the lineup tonight when the Red Sox take on the White Sox at Fenway.
After missing one week with a heart irregularity, Papi was cleared by his doctors after extensive testing found no serious damage to his heart; it is believed that the condition was caused by stress and fatigue.

So for the first time since late July the Sox will have all their offensive weapons healthy, save for Willy Mo Pena, who is still iffy with a balky wrist. But with Manny, Papi, Tek, Trot and Alex Gonzalez all back and healthy Boston can finally field the team that was atop the AL East standings for most of the first half of the season and appeared to be a playoff lock, until the Boston Massacre II and subsequent rash of injuries derailed their plans.

How bout a walkoff Papi, for old times' sake?

Next game: vs. Chicago, 7P
Vazquez (11-8, 4.98) vs. Gabbard (0-3, 6.35)

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Noles hang on for 3-point win over Miami

It wasn't easy and it wasn't pretty, but FSU wins at Miami for 1st time since 1998

The first half was one of the ugliest, wettest, messiest, okay let's say it-most boring- halves of football that a fan could endure.

Both teams looked like it was their first game of the season-oh right, it was- and both teams look like they have a lot of kinks to work out, at least on offense.
The Noles struck first with a 37-yd field goal by Cismesia just 8 minutes into the game; might it be an offensive show in the mud of Miami? Unfortunately the answer was a resounding "no", as the two teams then traded pointless drives until The Canes capitalized on a stupid Nole personal foul penalty that kept Miami's drive alive and resulted in a 4 yd TD run by Charlie Jones. When Miami added a 20-yd FG by Countryside's Jon Peattie with under 4 to go till the half, the Noles were on the verge of being embarrassed: they managed only 1 yard rushing and 43 total yards in the half.

But whatever Bobby and the rest of the coaches said to the players at halftime, it worked, because FSU played like a team possessed in the second half. Late in the 3rd Q they marched down the field behind a poised and confident looking Drew Weatherford, who despite having mediocre numbers (16-32,175yds, 1 INT) played like a seasoned field general when it came to crunch time. He directed a game-tying drive that was highlighted by a 28-yd reception by De'Cody Fagg and a momentum-building short catch-long run by Lo' Booker that brought the Noles to the Miami goal line. Minutes later fullback Joe Surratt scored from a yard out, the game was tied at 10 and the pendulum had swung to the FSU sideline.

By now it was the Nole "D" that was hurting the Canes newly retooled offense; through 3 quarters they held the Canes to 1-yd rushing and 17 total yards in the 2nd half. Bruising linebacker Buster Davis had 2 sacks and nearly decapitated Miami QB Kyle Wright on a keeper in the red zone. They also held tight end Greg Olsen to 2 catches for 8 yards after he torched the Noles last year with 8 grabs for 137 yards. The Canes finished the game with a mere 134 yards of offense- a dominating performance from Mickey Andrews' boys.

But as usually is the case with Noles/Canes, it was a tight game that came down to the kicker. With the score tied almost midway thru the 4th, Weatherford marched the team down the field again, the big play a twisting, 18-yd Fagg snag near the sideline that put them in position for a makeable (33-yd) FG. We've all been there before with this rivalry, though, so we all know that even an extra point is no gimme here. As the Nole faithful held their breath, Cismesia lined up the kick in the drizzle and carried the weight of the team on his shoulders. Just don't miss it wide right or left and you're okay he had to be thinking. No pressure.

Cismesia lined it up and let it fly, and wouldn't you know- IT WENT IN!

The Noles took a 3-pt lead and then hung on for dear life for the final 8:00, when CB Michael ray Garvin intercepted a desperate and overmatched Wright to seal the win.

So now the Noles have a mini-winning streak started as well as stopped their Orange Bowl losing streak. Did they look like a National Championship contender? Not with that offense. But if the defense continues to play the way it did, I know this offense will put up some points- they're too talented not to. And with FSU barely leaving the state of Florida this season (2 games in NC, 1 in Maryland) it has a good chance at a New Year's Day bowl and a possible title shot.

Nobody is worrying about that today, though. All Nole fans want to do is bask in the glory of another victory over their archrival, and then get their offense on track by pounding the men of Troy next week at Doak.

Go Noles!

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