Thursday, September 13, 2007

Summer 2007: A quick look back

I'm baaaacck! And unlike Britney Spears I know this could be my last chance, so I don't intend to screw this up.

I know it's been a while, but I've finally decided to stop neglecting my original site after spending so much time with its newest sibling this summer, you know, my other blog (shhhh!)

Point is I guess I never really realized what a full-time obsession the Red Sox could be.

But now that summer is over, the baseball regular season is winding down, and all the good things like NFL & college football, the new Fall TV seasons and the Oscar contenders are taking hold of the public conscience, I thought I'd better get back to my eldest blogchild lest it disable itself and disown me forever.

And what would an "I'm back"/end of summer post be without a Top 10 list? You're right, it would be original and creative, but I thought it would be shit. So without further adieu here are the Top Five Best & Worst things about Summer 2007 (see, add the two Top 5s and you've got a Top 10--cut me some slack, I've been away for a couple of months)


5.) Britney's MTV Awards show appearance

This "performance" had to be the most embarrassing thing the former Mouseketeer has ever done, and that's saying something for a woman who routinely flashes her cooch in public, shaved her hair to avoid a drug test (upstairs & downstairs evidently) and attacked a throng of helpless paparazzo with a street sign.

But when a Haagen Dazs and Halcion-fueled Brit took the stage last weekend to perform her newest single, which was supposed to resurrect her flagging career, no one on Earth could have predicted the tragi-comedy that would follow. Looking like a reject from Josie & the Pussycats, Brit Brit stumbled across the stage, mumbled a few of the lyrics playing in the background, then tumbled from the pedestal of fame right into the sewer of infamy.

4.) Barry Bonds HR chase By now most of you know that Barry Bonds became major league baseball's all-time home run king when he blasted career shot #756 on August 7th, and if you don't know you must have been vacationing at Lake Cuomo all summer.

The fact that Bonds was on the verge of breaking the most hallowed record in all of sports did not bother me one bit (you say he took 'roids, I say who didn't?), but it was the incessant, non-stop coverage of the chase and everyone's reaction to the chase. Which begs the question, if every sports TV show and news outlet didn't clog the airwaves and page space with so much anti-Barry content, don't you think fewer people would have paid attention in the long run?

3.) Entourage
HBO's feel-good surprise hit was enjoying a third season filled with interesting conflicts, hilarious dialogue and witty storylines, and then HBO decided to mess with the mojo and jump onto the aggravatingly popular " mid season hiatus" bandwagon and split the season in half.

When it resumed something felt...different, like either the writers had run out of ideas or started reading their press clippings, and when the fourth season premiered a mere three weeks after the third one ended with a stale "Office"-esque episode centered on the filming of the fictional Medellin, the wife and I immediately looked at each other in agreement--one of our favorite shows had officially jumped the shark.

2.) Mike Vick is fucking sick In what has to be the worst case of an athlete gone wild since Orenthal carved up his ex-wife and her sunglasses steward, Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was busted for and plead guilty to running an illegal dog fighting operation from a property he owned in rural Virginia.

Vick is now facing a potential 1-5 years in federal prison for inhumanely killing dogs that did not perform well for him, and also a possible lifetime banishment from the NFL due to gambling violations. It's safe to say no one, not even OJ, who was a has-been at the time he became a double-murderer, has fallen farther faster than the always overrated and never understated Vick, who at the recent draft in April was quoted telling ESPN "I love animals." Enjoy being a wide receiver in the slammer, you sick fuck.

1.) The Minnesota bridge collapse
As a resident of Florida, a state with approximately 15 zillion bridges, the collapse of the I-35W bridge that spanned the Mississippi River outside of Minneapolis was a senseless yet seemingly all-too-plausible tragedy that really hit home.

Every year we as Americans deal with catastrophic events that leave us both horrified and amazed at the same time--hurricanes, tornadoes, wildfires & flash floods--but there's something about the sudden collapse of a structure that thousands of people utilize and take for granted every day that really causes the average citizen to step back and think "that really could have been me or someone I loved."

...and on the lighter side...


5.) Knocked Up
The wife and I might not have seen it until it was already a month old, but that didn't diminish the gut-busting power of this raunchy-yet-lovable comedy from the demented genius behind "The 40 Year Old Virgin", Judd Apatow.

In this romantic comedy with a terrific twist goofy Seth Rogen has a one-night stand with sexy Katherine Heigel, and the end result is a bun in the oven that's good for an hour and a half of "will they or won't they" banter as well as a ton of hilarious rotten marriage jokes from the indispensable Paul Ruud and Leslie Mann. Like Virgin, Knocked Up has plenty of sick humour and classic lines mixed with a smidge of tenderness, and in the end you're left saying "I can't wait for this guy's next flick to come out."

What's that? It did? Oh, Superbad? Oh, my bad.

4.) Celtics sign Kevin Garnett
After a few flirtations with the 10-time All Star and former league MVP, the Boston Celtics finally landed the Big Ticket on July 31st when it sent five players to Minnesota in exchange for the leanest, meanest, hungriest big man in the league.

Coupled with the addition of 7-time All Star sharpshooter Ray Allen and C's team captain Paul Pierce, the Celtics have put together its best troika since Bird, McHale and the Chief ruled the parquet a couple of decades ago, and in the weak Eastern Conference this trident of talented future Hall of Famers could bring the NBA title back to Benatown for the first time since 1986.

3.) Flight of the ConchordsBand meeting! Just as the Sopranos came to a perplexing conclusion and Entourage was beginning to royally suck, HBO slipped an odd little half hour comedy about a folk band from New Zealand under our noses, and wouldn't you know after a few weeks of sniffing it out it grew on me like nosehair.

Don't get me wrong, this dry brand of quirky humor is definitely not for everyone, as I had to practically bribe the wife to watch it a couple of times, but make no mistake all you non-believers will rue the day you didn't jump on the Jemaine and Bret bandwagon in the early stages, and if you don't believe Murray will get the guys an actual paying gig some day soon well then you're just a bunch of mothaflippin' idiots!

2.) NYC trip
I did a complete post of this experience right before I went on hiatus, so if you want a more detailed account of the experience just scroll down a bit. But I have to include it here because the combination of my sister's awesome wedding and the entire family gathering in New York City was an experience that will never be duplicated or imitated. Great wedding, great city, great time with the family all added up to an all-time memorable summer event.

1.) 1 month child-free
As good as Melissa & Paul's wedding was, I would be remiss if I did not place this extremely rare occurrence at the top of my summer of fun list.

For one whole month, or a full one-third of my son's summer vacation, he went to spend time with his relatives in Ohio, where he got passed around like a bottle of Ketel One at Promises Malibu, and the wife and I took full advantage of the freedom.

How did we spend our time you ask? Well if you have to ask, then...let's just say it involved a little bit of this...
...and some of this...
...still more of this...
...and then finally, this.

Well, we did a little more than that, but those pictures are not available on this site. You know what they say, when the kid's away, the dearly beloved will play.

Stay tuned for more posts--I promise it won't be two months in between.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Under Construction

The TBBostonian is undergoing an extreme makeover and will return shortly. Please click to my other blog until we are up and running again. Thank you.