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First I want to wish a Happy Easter to all my Catholic family & friends. If you're like me your day has consisted of morning mass, Easter dinner, an egg hunt followed by "watching" the Masters while dozing on the couch.
On the other hand my family members of the Jewish faith probably spent the day shopping at Lord & Taylor.
If that sounds familiar to anyone raise your hand and say "praise the lord."
Now that the business end of Resurrection Sunday is out of the way we can get down to consuming some serious leftovers tonight. There is a feast of epic proportions on tap on the tube this Easter eve, and I plan on doing some damage to my DVR's in order to keep up with all the offerings.
Let's all join hands, bow our heads and look at the healthy plate that has been so generously placed before us...
Red Sox at Rangers 8:00 PM ESPN & ESPN HD
The first regular edition of SNB of the season, not counting that "we gotta be first" opener last week, just happens to feature everyone's favorite team, the Sox, playing in Texas against Sammy Sosa and the Rangers.
Curt Schilling will take the mound for the first time since he got clubbed by Kansas City on Opening Day last Monday, and knowing him he will be hell-bent to atone for that performance (how'd you like that timely phraseology?)
Schill will be opposed by Vincente Padilla, but it won't matter if the Ranger's starter was Vincente Fox if the Boston bats don't begin producing some runs; in 5 games the team is batting .244 with 1 homerun and averaging just over 3 runs/game.
This game will keep everyone occupied for an hour until the return of you know who at dusk...
...that's right, Tony Soprano is back just in time to carve up your Easter bunny and shove Easter eggs down your everlovin' gullet...
The Sopranos, 9:00PM, HBO & HBO HD
That's right everyone's favorite sinners force their way back into our lives for a limited run before retiring to that great syndication haven in the sky. Tonight's show marks the beginning of the end of the mob saga that not only redefined how we look at La Costra Nostra like nothing has since the Godfather, but the groundbreaking show also helped to reshape television.
Without the Sopranos there is no Rescue Me, The Shield, Nip/Tuck or even Boston Legal. The drama created by David Chase began with little fanfare in 1997 but soon blossomed into a full-blown Pop Culture Phenomenon, breaking all kinds of records for cable viewers gained and cast members slain.
Now that Chase has decided the show has run its course (last year's ridiculous Vito/Johnnycakes plot ensured he was right) we will only get see "family" members like Tony & Carmela, Bobby & Janice, Christopher, Sil, Paulie, A.J. and let's not forget about Meadow for another 9 hours. After that it's off into the sunset, or more likely for these guys, down to the bottom of the Atlantic like Big Pussy.
Whatever happens and no matter how silly or far fetched the threads may be in this abbreviated swan song season, I know I will be watching intently. A show like this only comes around once in a generation, and the worst episodes of the Sopranos make the best eps of other shows seem like dog shit.
Besides, if I could make it through this past season of Prison Break, I can handle anything Chase throws my way.
Entourage 10PM, HBO & HBO HD
On the heels of that somber & severe hour of mob drama is HBO's latest P.C.P., the show that tracks the hilariously hip life of Mark Wahlberg's funky bunch of Hollywood cling-ons: pretty-boy actor Vincent Chase (Adrian Grenier) his manager Eric (Kevin Connolly), his wannabe actor brother Johnny (Kevin Dillon) and their ultra-dependant party-loving homeboy Turtle (Jerry Ferrara.)
Back for a third season after the first two took the nation by storm (and the creators by surprise- sound familiar?), the show will pick up where season 2 left off, namely with Vinnie separated from former agent and close firend Ari Gold (Jeremy Piven.) After going behind Vince's back and blowing a couple of roles for Vince (namely Pablo Escobar in Medellin and Joey Ramone in a Ramones biopic), Eric ended last season by going Donald Trump on Ari; "you're fired" is where we left off, and you can be sure it won't take long to pick right back up there, becasue we all know the Vince/Ari/Eric dynamic is what makes the show work.
Expect plenty of good-natured banter & ribbing between Vinne and the members of his posse, brother Johnny Drama (Kevin Dillon) and Turtle in the first couple of episodes until whatever storyline producer Doug Ellin and the writers decide to take.
Whatever happens this season, be it another Vegas trip, Playboy mansion party or comic book convention, you can be sure to count on three things:
1.) Vinnie & Ari will hug it out and make up- the show is nothing without the egomaniacal Ari.
2.) there will be plenty of big-name cameos (past guest lists included James Cameron, Ed Burns, Mandy Moore and Martin Landeau)
3.) the chicks will be hot, the music will be cutting edge, the booze will be flowing and the grass will be smokin' as we hop back on board that inside-Hollywood tour bus and go along for a fun, frantic ride
If those choices don't float your boat there is also the next two episodes of Discovery Channel Planet Earth, Deal or No deal, Amazing Race and Desperate Housewives.
But for me it will be a night spent with Big Papi, Tony, Vince and the rest of the paisans.
Hey, it is Easter, right?
Enjoy.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
An easter feast even a Jew can love
Monday, February 05, 2007
SB XLI Wrap up: The Entertainment
Now that the Super Bowl is over there is just one bit of unfinished business to take care of before we sign off from the NFL for a while...
...reviewing the Super Bowl entertainment, i.e. the commercials & halftime shows.
Most years the ritual of watching, grading, and talking about the ads & acts that play during the Big Game is more fun than the actual game itself. Websites now run "grade the Super Bowl ad" polls as the popularity of these mini-movies grows, and companies regularly pay over $2 million apiece to run spots during the most watched program on the planet. Whether they are clever & innovative or ridiculous & redundant, these spots can fuel water cooler discussions long after who won the game leaves the public conscience.
Who won, anyway?
This year the NFL tapped some old standards to take care of the song & dance portions of the extravaganza, trotting out Billy DUI Joel for an unmoving rendition of the anthem, and then wheeling out the petite purple Prince himself for the halftime show. What's wrong with this picture? Well for one thing those two have a combined age of 105, meaning the majority of viewers have either seen/heard them so many times that they are sick to death of them while the rest of the audience just turned to each other with looks that said "who the f**k are these geezers?"
And while Joel sucked Prince actually did an admirable job of making the halftime show work.
Decked out in an aqua suit and hair net 'do rag, the Artist took the electric purple stage shaped like the symbol he once used as a moniker and ripped through a set of his classics plus covers of others that had Prince-ophiles like my wife squealing with joy. Coupled with innovative use of lighting which created an iconic silhouette against a billowing sheet and some traditional nasty guitar work it made for a flashy, fun performance against the backdrop of the rainy Miami night.
"Let's Go Crazy" was a great choice for his intro song, but Tina Turner's "Proud Mary"? Why? By the time he attempted to belt out the Foo Fighter's "Best of You" I almost reached for my iPod so I could hear the song the way it was intended to be heard- sung by Dave Grohl. (my wife & I both pointed out that it would have been much cooler to have the Foos up there with Prince and let Dave growl out the lyrics while Prince provided the guitar- why can't execs think of this stuff?)
But the little man redeemed himself on his closing number, with a little help from Mother Nature. His rendition of the soulful ballad "Purple Rain" was certainly befitting the soggy evening and served as an anthem for the entire event. Capped by an explosive pyrotechnics display, Prince exited the stage as one of the top halftime performers in history, trailing U2 and Nipple-gate but certainly ahead of the Rolling Stones and Sir Paul McCartney.
Not bad for a little old guy with a degenerative hip condition.
Now onto the main stuff- the ads. This year was a mixture of good & bad, hilarious and stupid. But with so many companies vying for only so much ad time you're going to get a hodgepodge like that.
That's why there are so many sites like this to sort through the riffraff and help you decide which ones were the most memorable, for better or worse.
So without further adieu, and with the help of iFilms, here are my Top 5 Super Bowl ads in various categories.
THE YAWNERS:
5- Honda, GMC, & Toyota
With bland ads like the ones these guys came up with it's no wonder the car business is in the crapper
4- Bud Dalmation
Okay, we know the Clydesdales are played out and the Lizards are so '90s but resorting to a little spotted dog? Cute, but cheap. At least it didn't talk.
3- Schick Quattro
A lady slipping off a treadmill-brilliant! (not)
2- Salesgenie.com: Sales Guy
An absolute snoozer that had no business being shown during this marquee event
1- Prudential: Retirement
1-Snickers: Mechanic
Way to bounce back from Nipplegate, NFL- air a commercial with two men kissing while chewing a candy bar right near the beginning of the game when all the kiddies are watching. Nice. *Worst Commercial Award*.
THE BEST:
5-Chevy: Singers
-The only cool car ad tapped the likes of Mary J. Blige, Big & Rich, T.I. and Dale Earnhardt Jr. to sing songs referencing the Bowtied automaker. Very well done, especially racer Johnny O'Connell "rapping" LL Cool J's "Going Back to Cali".
4- Blockbuster Mouse
-Yes the former video giant used the tired template of talking CG-animated animals, but this silly, simple spot got its point across and had the benefit of a voiceover from Jack Donaghy himself, Golden Globe winner Alec Baldwin.
3- Bud Lite:Hitchhiker
-Although this one used a couple of old themes- doing anything for a Bud Light and movie villains- it made them funny & original; finally, a decent beer ad!
2- Nationwide: K-Fed
-The (sorta) lovable loser lampooned himself for a reported $500,000 and now he is laughing all the way to the bank while we are just laughing at this clever ad. Actually made my wife exclaim "I like K-Fed now"-but will it help sell insurance? "Federline! Fries!"
1- Coke: Love
-This creative take on the controversial yet wildly popular video game Grand Theft Auto was not only visually stunning but it sent a positive, anti-GTA message, and tied in with the Miami setting of the Bowl. Gotta "give a little love" to Coke for their innovative entries, and this masterpiece takes home the top prize for 2007. Loved the dancing rats.
Honorable mention goes out to Oprah & Letterman's couch snuggle, but that was more a promo than an ad so it was disqualified from consideration. Also the Carlos Mencia Bud ads were decent and my wife & the gals in her office enjoyed another amateur contest winner, the slightly risque Doritos Cashier spot.
Anyway, that's all I got. Any comments, complaints, or arguments, feel free to let me know. Until next year, Super Bowl coverage is officially over.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
Kramer & Mel, together in Hell
Perhaps you've heard by now about Michael Richards' terrible, offensive, hate-filled rant against some African-American patrons watching his comedy act at LA comedy club The Laugh Factory(might want to change that name.)
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
What to watch tonight
With election results pouring in from all around the country, there's only one thing to do tonight as a proud American: find out what else is on.
With the wife stuck at work, just like every election year, it will be free reign on the TV viewing tonight. Hmmm, what will I check out...
Dancing With the Scantily Clad Celebs, 8PM ABC
I'm just going to keep an eye on this show "for my wife", because after all it is down to the Final 3- bald Joe (formerly hairy Joey) Lawrence, Mario Saved by my Dimples Lopez, and my man Emmitt Smith. Lopez is the obvious fave, with his pretty-boy Latino looks, swivel-matic hips and "dimples you can stick your tongue into"(according to my wife's co-worker), but Emmitt has been coming on strong of late, as has Lawrence. It will be a heated battle to see who makes it to the final twosome tomorrow night, but the show just isn't the same without the lovable, laughable Jerry Springer. Not that I'm paying attention or anything.
Toledo (3-6) @ Northern Illinois (5-4), 7:30, ESPN2
What reason could there be to watch a matchup between these two MAC schools unless you are A: Bruce Gradkowski or Chester Taylor checking out your Toledo homeboys or B: a degenerate gambler? Turns out if you are a college football fan the answer is C: for NIU stud running back Garrett Wolfe. The diminutive (5'7") dynamo has been leading the NCAA in rushing basically all season(1479 yards, 14TDs) although no one really knows him; the last time he played on national TV he shit the bed: 25 yards on 18 carries vs. Western Michigan 3 weeks ago. Here's his chance to redeem himself, and your chance to catch one of the most exciting runners in college ball, size not an issue.
Help Me Help You, 9:30, ABC
This Ted Danson vehicle has hooked my wife & I in with its irascible, raunchy humor, high-brow jokes and stellar cast. Each week focuses on another one of Dr. Hoffman's (Danson, better than ever, except for Mayday Malone) wackos, but the drama always centers around the ego-centric shrink himself. Throw in hilarious barbs from his soon-to-be (maybe) ex-wife Anne, played to a tee by Jane Kaczmarek, and this show is a witty hit.
PRISON BREAK, DVR
Didn't get to see the show last night, but tonight will be a good time to catch up, especially with Linc and LJ getting busted last week.
This will be followed by about 4 hours of playing Need For Speed: Carbon on XBOX 360 before I have to hand it back in to Hollywood Video after my 1 week test run. The verdict is still out, but so far the game is placing somewhere in between the superb Underground and the lackluster Most Wanted. A full review will come after I have played my fingers to a nub tonight.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
World Series PPD- time to blogon
Game 4 of the World Series was postponed tonight due to nasty storms in the St. Louis area. That's not the worst news, though: more, possibly more severe, storms are expected for the next 2 days at least. Already tonight's postponement has eliminated the off travel day on Friday, compacting the final 4 (possible) games to Thu, Fri, Sat, Sun. Another day or 2 of rain and we could be looking at the series sliding into next week, meaning we could have Series games on Halloween &/or November 1st. The only other time the Fall Classic was played in the early winter of the 11th month was in 2001 due to 9/11.
This is the result of both the extra round of playoffs, the Divisional Series that were added with the Wild Card in 1995, and the obnoxious television networks like FOX that pay gazillions of dollars to put one game on at only at night for a month (except for a couple of the DS games.)
Anyway, I thought this would be a good time to do a miscellaneous rant/post just to get some things off my chest and onto this page. I'm not sure if this will make much sense because I am still suffering lingering effects of my stressful day Sunday. I feel somewhat like A-Ben-dicitis must feel, minus the bone-crushing hit and reconstructed jaw. Is it possible to drink/yell/sweat yourself into a concussion or some other kind of head trauma? If there's a doctor out there reading, let me know.
-Speaking of my state of mind, I pick up my paper today (which, by the way, is the "newly restyled" St. Petersburg Times; evidently "newly restyled" means lopping off an inch off the page so I feel like I'm holding a pamphlet and enough colors, graphs & website links to make it look like USAToday on Nandro) and what do I see but an article about flavored beers. All of my faithful readers surely remember that in my Bucs game post, one of the causes I attribute my near blackout & lingering hangover to was the god-awful pumpkin beer I was forced to sample at a pre-game tailgate (by forced I mean it was free and they were out of Bud Light.) Well lo & behold this article , about how Anheuser-Busch & Miller are introducing 
flavored beers to compete with microbreweries and craft brewers, has a list of the Top 10 flavored beers in 2005. And what do you think (after plain) was #2? Give that person a prize, it was FREAKIN' PUMPKIN BEER! Are these people serious? That crap tasted like cough medicine, Thanksgiving dessert and Lysol. My buddy JT and I thought "how bad can it be?" Two sips later we had the answer. And it was the No.2 flavored beer in the country last year?! Wow.
-What my Wife & I are watching:
Not just my usual Top 5 TV show list here, but a current, up-to-the-minute record of what we are watching nightly right now.
1.(TIE):MLB Playoffs & Dancing with the Stars
Both events are dominating the sets at this time, and on Tuesdays & Wednesdays, usually simultaneously. I am a baseball fan at heart and I don't care who is playing- it's baseball, it's meaningful, it's (usually) being played at a high level, and sometimes you get Kenny Rogers-level controversy. No matter who is playing in the Fall Classic, this fan is watching. Unless it's the Subway Series; that was blacked out in my house.
But DWTS is merely taking over the nation. My son watches with my wife, parents at the LL ballfield are checking their watches and yelling at the kids to hurry the game up so they can get home and see who got eliminated (it was Jerry Springer tonight-no controversy there), and "stars" on the show are gushing about what a life-altering mega experience it is to them. All this for some ballroom dances? The answer, for 20+ million people, appears to be yes. And although I am not a diehard fan, there is something about the combination of C-list celebs & their professional dancers, with their chemistry, camaraderie, and coquettishness that makes this little phenomenon magical. Ah, who am I kidding- it's the outfits. Put them in dorky clothes and you've got American Karaoke on a wooden floor, and I'm never setting eyes on it.2.) Prison Break
Suspension of disbelief is not just a suggestion, it's a requirement as the writers seem to be throwing every thriller cliche into a blender then throwing them against the wall to see what sticks. Some of the twists work (Agent Mahone secretly working for Agent Evil & the President-awesome!), and many more don't (Sucre's leg caught under a log- I think I saw that on a cartoon; T-Bag duping Michael with the $5 mil- c'mon Michael has more brains than that, doesn't he?) But like DWTS, there is something that keeps pulling the viewer back every week, whether it's the fast pace,
solid cast, good-vs.-evil plot or flat-out fun escapism. Who am I kidding, I know my wife only watches for the "hot-hot-hottie" brothers Michael & Linc. Although trying to follow all the twists and turns caused her to invent a new word the other night when she blurted out "I'm stuped!", which I took to be a mishmash of stupified & stumped. Honey, that sums this show up brilliantly!3.) Help Me Help You
We were skeptical of this show at first, mainly because it stars Ted Danson, who ruined himself for TV comedy forever when he hung up Mayday Malone's hairpiece, Jere Burns, who hasn't been funny since Dear John, and a bunch of no names. Except for Jane Kaczmarek, who plays Danson's soon-to-be ex-wife. Danson plays Dr. Bill Hoffman, a pompous, arrogant, egotistical, narcissistic therapist who is loonier than his cuckoo patients. They include Inger, an Asian woman with commitment issues; Dave (Jason Ritter), a shy guy with mommy issues; Johnathan, a bald little married dude who looks like Michael Stipe and is in denial over his true sexual preference; Jere Burns as hot tempered, no-BS businessman Michael, who gives it to 
them straight and is screwing around with mousy-but-sex crazed Darlene, who has the hots for Dr. Hoffman. The chemistry between the always-terrific Kaczmarek as Anne and Danson is great, the jokes are hilarious (Bill to the group: "can we put the genitalia discussion on the back burner, please?") and the episode with Bills' band of goofball therapists, named Pink Freud, was worth the whole season alone. This show is finding its footing, and my wife and I are really starting to enjoy it; the time slot after Tuesdays DWTS ep (9:30, ABC) doesn't hurt, either. Check it out.
4. & 5) The Office & My Name is Earl
The only reason The Office isn't higher is because we haven't watched it in a week due to the above mentioned items as well as our son's school projects & baseball games. I still have it on the DVR, and I plan on watching that ep & this weeks' show back to back tonight. No doubt that will catapult the show back to the number one spot next week, because it is the best show on television, hands down.
I also have about 3 eps of Earl to catch up on, but the way this season started, I have a feeling it's going to be dropping out of the top 5, not climbing up.
-Wanted to let you sports fans know about an excellent column called the UniWatch by Paul Lukas. It is totally dedicated to all things related to sports uniforms, including caps, jerseys, gloves, socks, logos, emblems, cleats and anything else that an athlete wears on his body. I caught onto this column when it became a semi-monthly feature column on ESPN.com a couple of years ago; it has since been given its own site, and the compilations & information contained make for fascinating, entertaining, and informative reading. Recently two of UniWatch's columns have gotten heavy press- the one about the Detroit Tigers Old English script "D" not having one design, but 3 or 4 different variations all being worn by the Tigers at once has caught everyone's eye now that the "D" is being seen worldwide in the Series. Also the article notes that Kenny the Cheater has been wearing a darker, BP cap during games all season,
an MLB no-no and a perfect place to hide his pine tar stash-busted! But this incredible column about Bill Buckner wearing a Cubs batting glove underneath his regular glove in Game 6 of the '86 Series nearly blew me off my feet. Not only was he muffing a routine grounder that cost the Bosox the game & Series, but he had a Cubbies batting glove that was at least 4-5 years old underneath the glove that missed the ball! As the kids like to say, "double jinx!" Great stuff. So if you are interested in arcane facts like how 30 Major league teams have logo discrepancies, you'll get a kick out of this site.
-My Fabulous Sports Weekend, Part II
Last weekend it was a football tripleheader (went to a High school & pro game, watched a ton of college) but this weekend is going to be a little different. Friday night I will be coaching in my son's Little League Tournament, starting Friday night at 6:00. We will most likely play 2 games Friday night in the 10-team, inter-county tourney, and then right back out there Saturday morning for 2 or 3 more, depending on how we do. Last spring we played in one of these and the boys made it all the way to the final game, where the exhausted kids finally succumbed to the combo of blazing heat & playing 5 games in less than 24 hours. But it was great fun and I am looking forward to it almost as much as he is (actually he was a little disappointed because he had so much fun at the Largo High football game last week he wanted to go to the homecoming game this Friday!) So that takes care of FRI/SAT (I will come home & crash on the couch and ingest about 12 straight hours of college football/World Series baseball after it's over) but on Sunday I hope to be attending on of my favorite annual are sporting events: The Chrysler Championship PGA Tour Event played at beautiful Innisbrook Country Club in Palm Harbor. I am not an avid golfer like the majority of my Florida buddies (Bob, JOE, JT...), in fact I've only golfed twice, both times at my good friend, the late, great Chicago Bob Allen's home course, Seminole Lakes CC. But there is something about attending a PGA event that gets my blood going. I think it's the mixture of beautiful scenery, up-close access to PGA pros, the leisurely pace & subdued crowds (as opposed to the concussion-inducing football games), and Michelobs in those cool new bottle/cans. Because the last few years have been hot enough to consume multiple beverages while trudging around the gigantic course. But it is great fun; the big-name pros usually make it to the event because it offers a large payoff (nearly a mil)- this year Goosen, Els, Vijay & Adam Scott will be there, last year Lefty & DL III were there- and they are extremely accommodating to the fans (although that's because Tiger hasn't been there yet), as the autos of Vijay & Goosen adorning the walls of my Sports Den can attest to.
No, that is not me standing next to Retief.
(I was illegally snapping the picture)
All I can say is thankfully the weather has changed to fall-like conditions so there will be no repeat of last weekend's blackout. My wife & I tackled that Copperhead course last year in the sweltering heat and nearly had to be hospitalized with heatstroke.
But one thing's for certain this weekend- I will not come within a 300-yard drive of Pumpkin Beer- or else I might really feel stuped!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Must See Reality TV
1.) Dancing with the Scantily Clad Semi-Celebrities
Last week's episode (from what I saw) ended in a semi-controversy when they did not eliminate anyone thanks to country singer Sara Evans' sudden departure mid-week. Evidently her husband is a sick pervert who not only pulled a Jude Law (slept w/ the 
nanny) but had over 100 naked pictures of himself in various states of arousal on his computer. Okay then. So, much to Jerry Springer's chagrin (does he look like he's gonna keel over at any time now or what?) there was no elimination and all the couples will be back tonight; they will dance twice, 2 different dances. Jerry may bite it in this episode- better get the defibrillator ready, stat. There are 5 duos left, and the fave is now Mario Lopez and his honey, err trainer, Karina. But I personally prefer the girl from High School Musical, Monique Coleman; she's got attitude, charisma, stage presence, and quite a set of dancer's gams. I really don't care who wins- all I know is whoever designs the costumes deserves an Emmy!2.) World Series Game 3 8PM, FOX
"See, I got pine tar on the top of my hands, too"
All eyes will be on all palms of the pitchers thanks to Kenny The Cameraman Clubber & baseball's latest (non) scandal, Dirtgate. The players will attempt to divert the focus of the series away from splotches of foreign substances on pitchers' hands and redirect everyone's attention back to the play on the field. The series is tied at 1 game apiece, and the 2 pitchers starting tonight both have big question marks: Chris Carpenter of the Cards may have had a Cy Young regular season, but his postseason numbers so far(2-1, 3.70) have more resembled Cy Sperling. The Tigers counter with Nate Robertson, a filthy pitcher when he's on, but he hasn't pitched in 2 weeks, so it's anyone's guess what he's going to bring to the mound at new Busch Stadium tonight. Plus who knows what else you might see. Maybe Pujols bat will shatter sending superballs screaming throughout the park.
MY PREDICTION: (from yesterday) Since Carpenter had the best home ERA in the majors (1.81) this season, and the Cards will be hungry to give their crowd a home Series victory after losing both games in '04, I like St. Louis to come out firing on all cylinders and erase the memories of Dirtgate.
Cards 6-2.
As I always tell my wife, sports are THE ultimate reality television.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
MUST- SEE TV
I know I've used that tired expression about 5 or 6 times on this space- whoever invented it is a gazillionaire genius living on his own island right now- but it perfectly sums up what I want to say... ...that these are the shows I recommend, no IMPLORE you to check out, for their varied ways of entertaining the masses (or at leat my wife & I):
1.) THE OFFICE
2.) PRISON BREAK
Sure it's corny, cheesy and unbelievable. But it's also addictive, exciting and most importantly 
FUN. Wentworth Miller plays lead character Michael Schofield with a smoldering intensity that drives the women (at least my wife) wild and makes the guys want to see him succeed. The rest of the cast makes you care for them as well: Michael's brooding, wrongly convicted brother Linc (Dominic Purcell); evil-yet-riveting Agent Kellerman; psychotic Special Agent Mahone (William Fichtner); conflicted-but-caring Dr. Tancredi; even despicable-but-hilarious T-Bag makes me want to see him survive the Fox River 8's Great Escape. The show may be incredible, but it keeps me coming back every week, so something must be working. Enjoy it while it lasts- these boys can't be on the run forever.
how can that formula go wrong? Evidently it can't as DWTS regularly rakes in almost 20 million viewers for each of its 2 weekly eps, and let me tell you those aren't all middle-aged ladies & gay men. This show has something for everyone, both men & women: joy & pain, hard work & rewarding results, skintight costumes & plunging necklines (even if it was Jerry Springer's), cliffhangers (on Tuesdays) & bad scores, oh, and did I mention dancing? Probably not, because that seems to be a mere subplot to the above mentioned themes. Whatever this stupid little show has, it's got it in spades- it's like American Karaoke, watered down & classed up, but with more skin. Nice.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
TV Preview
Set the DVRs for hyper-record, Mr. Sulu! This is one of those nights where the wonders of modern technology, TiVO/DVR & P-I-P appear to be heaven sent.
history, when the Dodgers had 2 men tagged out a home plate on one play. Tonight they send an unproven rookie, Hong Chih- Kuo, into the cauldron that is playoff baseball in New York; to make matters worse for the kid, he's going up against playoff veteran Tom Glavine. Definite advantage Mets. And with Nomah hurting, Jeff Kent a baserunning bonehead, and a kid on the hill, I look for the Mets to win handily and take a 2-0 advantage back to LA. But I'm still going to watch just to see what kind of crazy play might take place tonight.
continues to raise the bar for comedy every week. The first week dealt with Michael's homophobia in a hilarious and poignant (somehow) way; last week we saw the re-introduction of Jim, who transferred to the Stamford branch of Dunder-Mifflin to escape the feelings he has for Pam. But now that Jim knows that Pam and Meathead have broken up, you know it's just a matter of time before the gravitational pull those two have on each other will kick in. Reunited, and it feels Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Ogling the Scantily Clad Celebrities
I watched 1 awesome playoff game today (A's/Twins), one decent contest (Cards/Padres) and started watching another that I had no interest in whatsoever (Tigers/Stanks.)
So with the Tigers looking more like Tabby's in the Bronx, losing 5-0 in the 3rd, I wandered from the Sports Den to the living room, where my wife and son were watching that American TV phenomenon known as Dancing with the Stars. 
Now I'll admit to watching parts of last season- the parts that included ultra-hottie Stacy She's got legs & she knows how to use them Kiebler. Which brings me to the title of my post, my name for this show. Because let's be real, does anyone really watch this crap for the dancing? Hells no! Let's be truthful here- the men watch it to ogle the scantily-clad beauties, both the 'professionals' and the amateurs, compete for the title of "Hottest Woman Wearing the Smallest Outfit & Sporting the Best Tan", while the gals watch it to ogle the buns & packages of tiny-but-buff studs like Drew Lachey, Joe Don't call me Joey Lawrence, and Mario Stole a Desperate Housewife away from Tony Parker Lopez. Am I off base here? I though not. No one gives a rat's ass if these leggy bimbos & sexy smurfs can perform the Waltz or Foxtrot or Paso Doble- we just want to see them shake their stuff and look as if they want to rip each other's clothes off right there in front of Tom Bergeron. Wouldn't that make for a great episode of Tom's America's Funniest Home Videos?
So I decided to do some research, comb through ABC's website for the show, and pick out some of my favorite moments. Then I captioned them to reflect what I, or everyone in America, was thinking at the time of the shot. Enjoy.
"You knowI could
easily
have had
the
equipment manager
pack you away
for road trips"
My husband is right over there, 
those hands, Dr. Dorkenstein.
"Save a horse, 
Is it just me
Seriously,Thursday, September 21, 2006
NBC's Must-See Comedies
The two-headed comedic monster that is MY Name is Earl and
The Office both had their season premieres tonight and let me tell you I almost ruptured a body part laughing so hard. This double dip is without question THE BEST HOUR OF COMEDY ON TV.
premieres but not what I was expecting from this show.) This one was also unusual because it focused on Joy, Earl's hottie/hick ex-wife played to a tee by Jamie Pressly. She gets it in her vacant head that she wants to put a giant entertainment center in her and Crabman's double-wide. But when it won't fit and she can't get a refund she steals a truck from a Big Box store and keeps it for ransom.
There's a reason why The Office won the Emmy for best comedy this year after only 2 seasons on the air: it is the funniest, best- written show on TV, narrowly edging out Entourage. And the difference maker is Steve Carrell, who is becoming more like the modern day Jim Carrey every year. His gift for line delivery, hilarious facial expressions, and-love-him-but-hate-him pathos is unmatched and an absolute joy to watch. He is one of those comedians who makes me laugh just when he is standing there in anticipation of what he will do or say.
"outs" Oscar to the rest of the crew, setting off a tidal wave of effects: outrage (Jan, Oscar), shock (Pam) disgust (Dwight) fear (Angela) and laughter Kevin.)Thursday, August 31, 2006
EMMY REVIEW
Right off the bat I have to admit that I did not watch the broadcast of the 58th Annual Emmy Awards on Sunday night, and judging by the ratings I wasn't alone. But I wanted to do an Emmy-related post anyway. Why, you may ask? Well reason one is RED SOX BURNOUT! If I have it, I'm sure my loyal readers do too, so it's time to move on. Plus with some of my favorite shows just ending or beginning, and some of them taking home statues, I thought now would be a good time for MY TOP 5 TV LIST:
FAVORITE SHOW:
5. MY NAME IS EARL TRASHY & BRASSY THIS KARMA-CENTRIC SHOW IS A LAUGH RIOT
4. SOPRANOS LOST LUSTER LATELY, BUT WRITING STILL MAKES IT A TOP 5
3. PRISON BREAK OVER THE TOP BUT THRILLING NIGHT- TIME SOAP
2. ENTOURAGE THE WRITING & THE CHARACTERS MAKE THIS SHOW ROCK
1.> THE OFFICE FINALLY OUT OF THE SHADOW OF ITS BRITISH BROTHER &GETTING RECOGNITION IT DESERVES W/ THIS YEARS' EMMY
FAVORITE ACTOR
5. WENTWORTH MILLER PRISON BREAK'S MICHAEL IS, IN MY WIFE'S WORDS "A HOT-HOT-HOTTIE"; HIS INTENSITY CARRIES THE SHOW
4. JASON LEE HE IS EARL, A REDNECK WITH A HEART OF FOOLS GOLD
3. STEVE CARRELL DUNDER MIFFLIN'S RIOTOUS BOSS BEAT OUT BY MONK? C'MON!
2.> JEREMY PIVEN WON A MUCH- DESERVED STATUE THIS YEAR; HIS ARI GOLD IS THE REASON TO WATCH ENTOURAGE
1. JAMES GANDOLFINI SETS THE BAR FOR ACTORS; TONY SOPRANO IS ONE OF TV'S ALL-TIME GREAT CHARACTERS
FAVORITE ACTRESS
5. EMMANUELLE CHIRIQUI HER SLOAN WAS THE REASON TO WATCH ENTOURAGE
4. PERREY REEVES AS ARI'S WIFE, SHE IS A PERFECT FOIL FOR HIS ANTICS-PLUS SHE'S HOT
3. CHERYL HINES AS LARRY DAVID'S WIFE, SHE'S A PERFECT FOIL FOR HIS ANTICS- PLUS SHE'S HOT
2. JENNA FISCHER NERDY BUT CUTE PAM KEEPS THE OFFICE JUICES FLOWING
1.> JAMIE PRESSLEY EARL'S EX IS A JOY TO WATCH FOR HER SMART-MOUTH RIFFS AND SKIMPY, TRAILER TRASH TOGS; AND SHE LOST TO MEGAN MULLALLY?! RECOUNT!
As you see, I didn't have any of the "hip" shows like 24, LOST, DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES, GREY'S ANATOMY, or HOUSE. Why? Because my wife and I are leaders, not followers. If we don't jump on a show from the very first episode, we don't jump on the bandwagon later. I have a rule- if I miss the pilot, I don't watch an episode of a show until it's in syndication. Just my rule, you don't have to agree with it.
So that's "my list" (an Earl reference folks; watch it). Notice I say FAVORITE, not BEST. These are my choices; if you have a better list, drop a comment and we can get a good old fashioned debate started.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
PRISON BREAK: Otis
Season 2, Episode 2
Not only is this show like a night-time soap, it's also a roller coaster ride that ties your stomach in knots and makes you want to close your eyes in fear of what's coming around the next corner.
Last night's ep showed the boys continuing their journey to Mexico via Utah, and although the primary group of 5 (Michael, Linc, Sucre, Abruzzi, & C-Note) split up, they are sure to see each other again down the road. As the brothers part ways with the other 3, Sucre mentions that he wonders what happened to T-Bag. We'll soon get to find out.
It seems that the Hindi vet made a pretty decent plastic surgeon after all, neatly re-attaching T-Bag's severed hand with the skill of, well you get the picture. But instead of thanking the doc and moving on his way, T-Bag shows his true colors by telling the doctor that he will not be leaving the building alive. Chilling, but we always knew how evil he was; now we are seeing it firsthand, outside the walls of Fox River.
Meanwhile Warden Pope (Stacy Keach) and Sgt. Bellick are taking it from the prison review board regarding the escape. Pope is incredul;ous that instead of catching the escapees they are being forced to answer questions about how the inmates got out and who is responsible. Although they all know Dr. Tancredi left the door unlocked, the board has also learned that Bellick was the one who let the inmates work in the guards break room. Did he abet the cons? He vehemently denies it, but the line is drawn.
Agent Mahone is busy trying to pressure Linc's son LJ into giving up his father & uncle's whereabouts as he heads in to court to be sentenced. He even starts off by saying how much he admires his dad and uncle for their planning and carrying out the escape; LJ is unimpressed so Mahone gets to the point: he will cut a deal if LJ gives up the boys. Yeah, sure buddy. When the tactic fails, Mahone promises that LJ is going to be serving a long sentence in an adult facilityin Arizona. Little does he know that Linc & Michael have planned a little detour from their Mexican/Utah vacation- Linc knows that LJ is going to be sentenced, and by impersonating his (deceased) attorney speaks to LJ directly before he heads into the court. He assures his son that he will get him out, and gives him a cryptic message before hanging up: "On the third, look for Otis right". Huh?
As the boys race to spring LJ, T-Bag is busy disposing of the good doctor. Despite his pleas and prayers, T-Bag shows the cold blooded killer he really is by injected a lethal dose of a lethal drug in his arm, and then proceeded to bleach his hair in the sink. Cold and calm, the real T-Bag emerges. Watch out, Abruzzi.
After a former guard testifies that Bellick was bribed into letting the inmates work the guard shack, he promptly gets booted from Fox River. Pope gets off with a suspension, but in his outrage over their treatment of his man, Pope resigns on the spot.
By now LJ is headed to the courtroom, but Mahone surprises him by telling him he knows he spoke to his dad earlier and he will not be seeing the light of day for a long time. As they take the walk to the elevators, LJ glances up and sees the big Otis sign overhead. Ding, lightbulb on- Otis right on 3 (floor). Trouble is, clairvoyant Mahone picks it up too and follows the lead. When they enter the elevator, Michael and Lincoln break in from the top and shove a spray-painted water gun at Mahone and demand LJ's release. That's right, a toy gun!- this show is so into goofing on itself it actually had them use a painted water gun-classic! But in the scuffle, LJ falls back down and the boys are forced to flee without Linc's son in tow. Mission not accomplished.
As all of this is happening our old friend Tweener, or Newbie, has popped back into the picture. He's taken up hiding at a college campus and is looking to hitch a ride to...drumroll please...Utah. and wouldn't you know, he finds a sweet naive college chick that happens to be going that way. So he's aboard for the Utah rendezvous. Anyway, now we get to see the real life of Sgt. Bellick. He heads back to his home in a state of disbelief and disgust-how could they have let him go after all his years of dedicated service. the real kicker is we see that he lives with...drumroll please..HIS MOTHER! If it weren't so funny it'd be sweet. This guy is so pathetic and mean, yet I empathize with him anyway- the mark of a great actor. As I tell y wife about Bellick & T-Bag, you love to hate them. Bellick heads back to his bedroom and pulls out a shotgun, and immediately the heartbeat starts racing: are they gonna knock off 2 key characters in 2 consecutive weeks? After some stomach-turning moments, his mom calls up to him about a $300k rewqard for whoever catches the cons. Tense moment over; a lot of money can cure a lot of pain for a guy like Bellick!
So the ep wraps with LJ headed to Arizona and most everyone else headed to Utah, including T-Bag and Tweener. You know they are all going to meet up again, soon (judging by the previews I'd say next week is soon), and you know that the brothers are going to try and have LJ there with them. The tension is ratcheting up and I know I can't wait to see which way the coaster turns next.
Monday, August 28, 2006
ENTOURAGE: Sorry, Ari
"...an agent by nature is a lying, money-hungry c***sucker; that's the breed, and Ari's Best in Breed" Drama, to the boys, regarding Ari's status as Vince's agent
Appropriately said, considering Jeremy Piven took home an Emmy tonight for his portrayalof the dog, though Ari is most certainly no shoo-in to remain Vince's agent as the season finale gets underway. In fact, the show opens with Vinnie wandering into E's bedroom and waking him with this comment: "I can't sleep- I think we should fire Ari".
Okay, bombshell dropped early, but not unexpectedly if you watched the previews last week. So where does it go from there? The whole episode becomes a 'will he or won't he?' game of cat-&-mouse, as Vince tries to get a hold of Ari to break the news but Ari is dodging and weaving around town in an attempt to salvage the union. That evasiveness leads Drama to suggest that Vince try other agents, which sets the wheels in motion for the stunning (if foreseen) conclusion. Or, as Vince so eloquently put it: "F**k it, Ari's a dick- let's flirt."
As the boys go off to scout agents, Ari gets a meeting with Allen and his hottie VP/Ari's ex-one nighter Dana Gordon at Warners in an attempt to convince him to let Vince play Joey Ramone. Allen gives Ari 2 minutes to plead his case, but it was all for show, just so Allen could stick it in his face; he gleefully (for Allen) tells Ari that he wishes he would have cast Jake Gyllenhaal in Aquaman" because "the gates would've been higher"- OUCH. When Dana defends Vince's role, Allen tells her that her commentary is unwanted and promptly ends the meeting. As a defeated Ari exits, he gets off one last blast to the bitter studio head: "Hmm, hard to believe you've been divorced 3 times Allen."
Next shot we see Dana running out to the parking lot to admit the truth to Ari- Allen has no plans on making the film, he's just buying the script to shelve it forever to spite Vince. But if he can talk to Bob before the deal is finalized, maybe he can foil Allen's plan.
Meanwhile the boys are being wooed by posh agencies all over town,including Ari's nemesis Josh Weinstein. But even using Drama's grading criteria they find that the agencies are all alike- shiny and modern with conference rooms filled with suits promising to turn Vincent Chase into a brand name such as Mercedes, Coca-Cola or Apple. The looks on Vince and E's faces say it all: disgust. These clowns want to treat Vince as a commodity, not an integrity-filled actor who values honesty & friendship more than money and fame.
Ari has now high-tailed it to Bob's mansion to beg him not to sell the script to Allen. He even offers his 750i, claiming he will "make the payments until they expire, unless Bob expires first". But we know Bob doesn't want that "Nazi sled", nor does he appear to want to please Ari. So Ari pulls his trump card, admitting that Allen has no intentions of making the movie. When Bob doesn't believe him, Ari reveals his source: "Dana Gordon, VP of production; I used to f**k her back in the day, so she owes me". Uh-oh. Bad move.
Thinking he has convinced Bob, Ari dances into his office on the air of confidence, singing to Lloyd and professing his love for Dana when he learns she is on the phone. But as she is cleaning out her office and calling Ari a "slimy piece of shit" for screwing her over in this thing, Ari realizes the old coot called Allen out on Ari's revelation, which got Dana immediately canned.
"Ari, you have one day to find me another job or the next time I see you at The Palm I am going to squeeze your f***ing dick with a claw cracker " It's going to be fun seeing her work at Miller/Gold next season!
Now it's on: when Bob confesses his signing of the deal to Ari, he instructs Lloyd to phone Vince and get it over with. The boys ponder life without Ari, but Drama provides words of wisdom: "don't do it; it's a mistake...we know where we stand with him; he's been with us from the beginning".
Lloyd gives Ari one of his " 'Queer as Folk' pep talks", which Ari takes as an inspiration to fight for Vince like it's WW III. They arrange a sit down at the office, and all Vince really wants Ari to do is say he's sorry, like a real friend would, for all he's done to screw Vince's dream project. But when they arrive at MGA, they are greeted by an all-too familiar vibe: squeaky clean office, Lloyd calling Vince 'Mr. Chase', and a conference room full of suits ready to blow smoke far up Vinnie's nether regions: oh no, not Ari too. The reconciliation went up in smoke when Babs told Vince he would become "a brand name like Microsoft or Mc-Donalds". As Vince and E walk away, disgusted, Ari comes groveling out to ask what went wrong. When Vince tells him all he wanted was Ari to "act like a friend, look me in the face, and apologize", Ari says "is that all, then I'm sorry Vin".
Vince- "It's too late"
E- "Ari, you're fired"
Cue the best of what has been a season-long selection of outro music: Ted Nugent's 'Stranglehold'.
So that's it for season 3; a terrific ending for what was a strong junior year. Plenty of places to go next year, starting with Vince's looking for an agent/work, Ari scrambling to retain Vince, Turtle & Drama's sputtering careers, and possibly a little more with E & Sloan (please!). I predict the talented writers will drag out the split for at least 5 episodes, milking Ari's pain for all it's worth. I think E will find Vince another great script, perhaps from Bob, forcing Ari to go all out to get his boy back; he might even have Dana as his hench-woman. Hopefully we see more of Sloan, Babs, Dana, Bob, Allen, Eddie Burns, and Mrs. Ari, and less of Ari's daughter. Enjoyed the season, can't wait till next March!
