Saturday, September 16, 2006

Sox take Game #1 of DH #1, 5-2

It wasn't looking good early for the Bosox. The Stanks jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the 2nd inning, courtesy of a home run off Gopher Ball Beckett (his ML-leading 34th allowed, 24th on the road) and it was a feeling of 'here we go again" for all members of RSN.
But something funny happened along the way to another embarrassing loss to the Evil Empire- the Sox found some heart, soul, and most importantly runs and ended up taking the first game of this compacted double-doubleheader.

They erased the 2-run deficit in the 4th inning on 2 doubles, 2 singles, a ground- out and an error by the supposed MVP himself, Derek Jeter. Chien Ming Wang was not sharp right from the start, throwing 30 pitches in the first inning; he ended up throwing 87 pitches in just 5 innings of work, very unusual for the low-strikeout, high-groundout, late inning-style pitcher.
Big Papi doubled twice, walked 3 times and was greeted with hearty boos each time up thanks to his "inflammatory" comments this week regarding his opinion on who deserves the MVP award. I guess the idiotic Stankee fans thought he should have actually voiced his support for the Man Whore instead of himself. But these are the same lowlifes who boo their own MVP winner from last year, so what do you expect from the neanderthals. Will they boo Jeter if he wins it this year? They booed him last year when he got off to a rough start, so who knows with those mouth-breathers. (If I have offended anyone with those last comments, well, mission accomplished.

Boston tacked on 2 more runs with 4 walks in the 7th and a wild pitch in the 9th, and Tired Arm actually held them scoreless in the 9th for his SECOND CONSECUTIVE SAVE; someone test his urine, ASAP.
So they will have about 4 hours to rest before Game 2. The Stanks will have to sweep the next 3 in order to clinch the Division in the Sox' faces.

C'mon boys just win 1 more and spare us all the indignity of having to witness that.
By the way: Judas went 0-5. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite: "Sweet"!

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Sox Yanks doubleheaders start at 1P & 8P

Due to the rain out last night in the Bronx the Sox/Stanks final series of the season (mercifully for Boston) will consist of two split doubleheaders today and tomorrow with games starting at 1:00 and 8:00 both days.


The scheduled starters are as follows:
Today:
Game1: Beckett (14-10, 5.09) vs.Wang (17-5, 3.60)
Game2: Tavarez (3-4, 4.74) vs. Unit (17-10, 4.84)

Sunday:
Game1:Snyder (4-4, 6.54) vs. Wright (10-7, 4.60)
Game2:Gabbard? (1-3, 3.13) vs. Mussina (14-6, 3.59)

On paper those matchups look like mismatches for the Sox. Actually anywhere those look like mismatches for the Sox. But as they say, you don't play the games on paper so anything can happen. Gabbard is questionable due to his sore side muscle, and Schill will not return to the hill until Wednesday at Fenway vs. the Twins (in a series that no longer has any meaning whatsoever with Boston a distant 7.5 games behind Minny in the WC race with 2 teams in front of them).
Interesting side note: if the Stanks win 3 out of 4 this weekend they will clinch their 9th straight AL East title. Think they want that to happen against Boston or what? Oh and one more thing...

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Friday, September 15, 2006

College Football Week 3 Preview

Vols kicker James Wilhoit kicked a 50- yd game winner vs. Florida in '04

They are billing this weekend as Separation Saturday. That's because many conference opponents are playing each other, there are 7 games pairing Top 25 teams, and the winners will separate themselves from the rest of the pack.
But that's just a corny, ESPN-contrived catchphrase. I like to call it "A Kick-Ass Weekend on the College Football Schedule". Not quite as catchy, but nails it pretty good.
Here's my list of Top 5 Games to Watch tomorrow:

5.) 19 Nebraska @ 4 USC, 8:00PM ABC
The Huskers travel to LA to take on the Trojans amidst new allegations that #2 NFL Draft Pick Reggie Bush received over $100k in illegal gifts & benefits from competing agents while enrolled at SC. With possible sanctions looming, including stripping Bush of his Heisman and possibly taking away the National Championships won while he was enrolled, the Trojans will try to keep the focus on the field. And with Nebraska having lost their last 6 road games vs. ranked teams and making their first trip to the Coliseum in 35 years that shouldn't be too difficult for John David Booty & Co.
MY PICK: USC 52, Nebraska 17

4.) 17 Miami @ 12 Louisville, 3:30 ABC
The Canes travel to Papa John's Stadium (actual name) to take on the high-powered Cardinals in a game that has lost some luster thanks to Miami's opening loss to FSU and Louisville's star tailback Michael Bush going down for the season in their opener. But both teams have bounced back, especially L'Ville, which is averaging 300yds on the ground and 60 PPG without Bush. Although the Canes have won the past 6 games they have been underdogs in, and they have a solid defense (#21 nationally), Bush's replacements George Stripling, Colby Smith, & Sergio Spencer combined with rocket-armed junior QB Brian Brohm should prove too tough for the weak Miami offense to overcome. Plus the Cards have won 13 straight at The Big Pizza Box.
MY PICK: Louisville 31, Miami 24

3.) 6 LSU @ 3 Auburn, 3:30, CBS
These two SEC West foes always seem to be in the top half of the rankings with programs built on solid defense, hard running and occasionally flashy offense, making the Bayou Classic, well, classic. This matchup doesn't seem to have the wattage of recent meetings, loaded with NFL draft picks like Cadillac Williams, Ronnie Brown, Michael Clayton, Jason Campbell and Joseph Addai. But LSU QB JaMarcus Russel is a stud, the Bayou Bengals feel sleighted by the hoopla over Auburn, and both teams want to atone for last years sloppy 20-17 victory by LSU; Auburn kicker John Vaughn missed 5 FGs in that one. No pressure.
MY PICK: LSU 21, Auburn 20

2.) 11 Michigan @ 2 Notre Dame, 3:30 NDC
This game is always a dogfight, although lately the bigger dawg has been the Irish Setter as they have beaten the Wolverines 3 straight times in South Bend dating back to 1994. Also it was the Irish' 17-10 victory last year in AnnArbor that propelled the Charlie Weis-led squad back into national prominence. Michigan has a dynamite trio of QB Chad Henne, RB Michael Hart and WR Mario Manningham, but the Irish counter with Heisman hopeful QB Brady Quinn, animal WR Jeff Samardzija and explosive RB Darius Walker. And plenty of luck.
MY PICK: Irish 28, Michigan 24

1.)
7 Florida @ 13 Tennessee, 8PM CBS
Why am I putting a game between 2 teams I don't even like at No. 1? Because as much as I don't care for them, they like each other even less. The heated rivalry goes back to the days of the Old Ballcoach's famous declaration that " you can't spell Citrus (Bowl) without UT" and Peyton Manning walking off the field as a Vol having never beaten the Gators. Recently we had the infamous Dallas Baker Game of 2004, when the young Gator receiver retaliated for a hit, was caught and flagged which gave UT another chance;they kicked a 50-yd FG as time expired for a 30-28 win. Gator QB Chris Leak has been critical of Tubby Fulmer in the past, but I have a feeling that if Leak struggles in Knoxville, highly-touted Freshman Tim Tebow could be the one to guide the Gators to a win.
MY PICK: Gators 24, Vols 21
Don't forget about:
26 Clemson @ 9 Florida St. (Bowden Bowl #...ah forget it)
15 Oklahoma @ 18 Oregon (Beware the Ducks- uniforms)
1 Ohio St vs. Cincy (Battle of Ohio)

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Junior Hulk totals Dad's Lambo

An interesting little news story that has gone under the radar, but I thought some people might enjoy it, especially those of us in Pinellas County, where the "Hogans" resided for many years before moving to the high rent district of Miami's Bay Harbor Island.
Looks like Brooke is not the only teenager Terry & Linda have to worry about. Wonder if it will be covered in the next season of "Hogan Knows Best". If there is a next season.

"Don't worry, Nick, we'll just take that $400G out of your allowance-
for the next 30 years"

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Sox /Stanks opener rained out

The first game of the final series between Boston and New York this season has been postponed due to rain in the New York area.

That means the teams will play doubleheaders tomorrow and Sunday. Four games in 2 days. Without Manny & Papelbon. The last time these guys played a compacted series like this, 5 games in 4 days in early August, The Stanks flushed the Sox out of the playoff race with a demoralizing 5 game sweep (now known as the Boston Massacre II).

So we have an extra night to stew over what will happen in this series. Will the Sox regain some measure of respect by taking the series? Can Big Papi tie or break the Red Sox single season home run record of 50 (he currently has 48)? Or will Judas Demon be all over the bases again like a spider monkey on crack while Jeter goes 8-12 w/ 6 runs scored and swipes the MVP award right out from under Papi's nose?

Me personally I'm rooting for the former.

To paraphrase Ernie Banks: Let's play 2 (games each the next 2 days).

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Man-knee probably done for the year

Well we knew this was coming. Manny Ramirez and his balky right knee are going to ride out the rest of the lost season on the bench, as it appears he will not attempt to play with his pateller tendinitis any longer.





ManRam has missed 14 games since Aug. 21st, when he removed himself from the final game of the BMII vs. the Stanks. Many in the Nation speculated that this was just another one of the mercurial slugger's prima donna stunts- you know, the Stanks just kicked our asses out of the playoff race, so I think I'll take some time off and chill with my son type of thing; in other words the latest edition of MannyBeingManny.

But seeing as that he has only appeared in 8 games since that day and he was hitting a paltry .091, maybe he really is hurting, huh Shaughnessey?


Whatever the case if Manny don't wanna play, Manny don't play. And if it happens to be the eve of a non-important series against those Stanks, a series where Boston could at least restore some of the dignity that was taken from them by these Bronx Bitches 3+ weeks ago, well it's no sweat off his back. What everyone in the Nation realized a LONG time ago is that Manny doesn't do what Manny doesn't want to do. Especially when it comes to playing.

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chhhhchanges...

As you observant readers have probably noticed I have changed the appearance of my site. This is part of my growth and development as an Internet entrepreneur.
I would appreciate any feedback that you might be able to give. Feel free to comment, call, email or whatever method you prefer to let me know your feelings, thoughts & suggestions. Unless they're negative.
Now I am going to bed because this transformation has taken me half the night!

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Sox hold on for 6-5 victory

Tito tried. He tried to give away this hard-fought 9th inning win for Boston. The Sox had scratched and clawed their way back from a 5-3 deficit after 6 innings by scoring single runs in the 7th, 8th and 9th innings, and Tito tried like heck to give it away.
And how did he do that? He brought in Tired Arm Timlin, that's how.
After having blown 7 saves in his last 11 opportunities, including an absolute soul-crusher to the Royals on Friday, Tito put him out there in a "pressure" situation again. And wouldn't you know it Timlin nearly gave this one away too.
He gave up a leadoff double to Melvin Mora to start the 9th, and the entire Nation either shut their sets off, partially closed their eyes or reached for the antacid. Or all of the above. After rookie Nick Markakis (the more I see of this kid the more I like him-watch for him to blossom into a star next season) hit a medium fly ball to Kappy in center, Mora challenged his normally strong gun and raced to third after tagging. Wouldn't you know Kappy's throw was off line (almost thought Coco threw it- no, he would've 11-hopped it to 3rd) and Mora was 90 feet away with 1 out; 2 more Tums please honey!
Tito next made the no-brainer call to walk Miggy Tejada to set up the DP with Ramon Tortoise Hernandez at the plate. By now my fingernails were shredded, my antacids were gone and I had one finger on the clicker so as not to have to go through this agony again-the instant that run crossed the plate I was over to Flava of Love or some other pain-diverting show.
But whaddaya know, the next thing I see is Ramon Hernandez Hitting into a game-ending double play! It's true. Timlin got the save, and I swear even he looked surprised at it (I'm not kidding, I watched it on the DVR 3 times and it was a look of relief, surprise and get me a beer combined).
So the Sox get a little morale booster as they take their roadshow to the Bronx for the formerly-thought-as-big 4 game set with the Bombers, who have quietly overtaken the best record in baseball since the Boston, Massacre II. Schilling is scheduled to return on and pitch on Saturday, and Papi can still get to the 50 HR mark in front of all the Stankee fans. So we got that kinda stuff to root for. Other than that the series carries as much meaning as the one they just finished against the lowly Birds.
That's what happens when you're playing out the string.

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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Wakefield returns and pitches well; Sox still lose

Hurlers' return can't 'wake' sleeping bats as Sox fall to B'more 4-0

The return of Tim Wakefield to the Boston red Sox tonight had to provide a big lift to a pitching staff that has been mired below mediocrity for some time now. The knuckleballer has been out since July 17th with a fracture in his ribcage, but unfortunately his ageless arm could not help the Sox' punchless bats.
The Boston lineup, hereby known as the Fenway Flailers, were held to 2 hits by Baltimore "ace" Eric Bedard, who at 14-9 w/ a 3.76 ERA would actually be an ace on the Boston staff. He pitched 7 innings of 2- hit shutout ball with 2 walks and 5 Ks. Just to add insult to injury old buddy Kevin Millah figured in all of the Birds' scoring. The "idiot" had more hits than all of his old team combined (3), knocked in 2 on a 2-run homer, and scored 2 times after reaching on errors by Alex Gonzalez and Mirabelli. He always was a Demon-wannabe.
So just another depressing loss in what has been a summer full of them since BM II. And with just one more game against the flightless Birds tomorrow before departing for the Bronx, Nation members can only hope there aren't a whole lot more of them before the season mercifully comes to an end.

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Abreu & Bombers torch Rays 12-4

The Stankees and their fans found out why they obtained Bobby Abreu before the trading deadline,although his average(.344) ond OBP(.436) with NY had already been impressive.
But last night Stankee opponents found ouwow, these guys can hitt what a lethal weapon Abreu can really be for the already-loaded Bombers as he HAD 6 RBI IN THE FIRST INNING VS. THE D-RAYS. You read that right- he alone drove in 6 runs during the Stankee record 9-run first inning against the beleaguered Devil Rays, whose road record is uglier than the Washington Generals'.
Bobby the Basher (you know, the guy who was rode out of Philly after suffering a power outage following last year's HR Derby win) came up with 2 men on in his first AB and promptly crushed an offering from Tim "why am I in the majors again?" Corcoran off the facade in the upper deck, then came up again later in the inning and smacked a 3-run double off reliever Brian Stokes. Wow.
But the scariest part is after he tacked on his 7th ribbie in the 3rd on a sac fly he ALMOST HIT A GRAND SLAM IN THE 4TH INNING. That drive to deep right landed a foot in front of the wall and would have given him 11 RBI through 4 innings!
Now I'm the first one to criticize the Stanks and BrainDead Cashman, but this move is starting to look like THE move of the trading deadline. As the Sox sat idly by with their noses up Theo's ass, not wanting to shell out the necessary cache to bring Abreu to Beantown The Stanks swooped in with their barrellful of dough and may have brought the missing link to the Bronx. This coming on the heels of the grand larceny of Judas Demon in the off-season, and Theo and his Henchmen have more than egg on their faces from the way these deals have helped propel New York to the best record in baseball and an increasingly probable World Title this year. They have entire omelets on their smug mugs.

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Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Sox beat Birds-barely.

They get out to a 5-run lead then hang on for 6-5 win.
It was one of those nights where you just knew the game wasn't going to be as easy as it appeared, and sure enough by the end it wasn't.
Boston finally took a 6-1 lead after 5 scoreless innings courtesy of 3 RBIs from Coco and 2 from Youk, Tito tried to blow Boston's first road win in their last 6 tries. How did he do that? By bringing in Mike Timlin, that's how. He allowed 2 straight singles and a lineout by Miggy Tejada, then gave up a 3-run bomb to Ramon Hernandez to make it a 6-4 game. Tired Arm Timlin then proceeded to give up 2 more singles (one to Millah) and another RBI hit, this one to the immortal Jeff Fiorentino (no word on if he's related to Linda), a veteran of 50 ABs with 7 career RBI. Tito finally had to bring in Javier Lopez to shut the door; I just wish he would shut the door on Tired Arm's career as well.
Look Timlin has been a workhorse and a warrior for Boston over the past 4 years both as a bridge to the closer and the closer, but when the writing is on the wall it's time to let go. They have no problem jettisoning players who want too much money(Petey, Judas) or appear to be done (Seanez, Javy Lopez) but sometimes the stubbornness and loyalty of Tito, Theo and the Henchmen can be downright maddening. THE GUY CAN'T PITCH ANYMORE. Just like Foulke can't, Seanez couldn't, and Julie Tavarez couldn't until he became an emergency starter. Stop bringing him in in save situations. Let one of the prized kids like Hansen or Breslow or Delcarmen cut his teeth in these situations so they can get the experience. They will be with the club a lot longer than Timlin and these games are meaningless now anyway. Now's the time to get the kids in there and park the vets who are just playing out the string and counting the days till their pensions kick in.
Otherwise, good win.

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NFL WEEK #1 REVIEW

1.) ROAD WARRIORS
In can only be described as a wacky and in some cases woeful opening week for many teams, especially those playing in the confines of their own stadiums. Of the 16 games this weekend, 11 road teams won, a staggering figure when you consider the average winning percentage for road teams is about 45%. So much for home field advantage.

2.) SCORING? WHAT SCORING?
Not only were the home teams losing a lot but they were hardly scoring at all. In the 16 games the home teams averaged 13.8 points while the roadies tallied 20.6 PPG. Three teams were shut out (Bucs, Raiders, Packers) and all 3 happened to be at home. It was the first time 3 teams had been shut out on any weekend since 1991. The total avg PPG was a measly 34.5, which should send degenerate gamblers scrambling to take the "unders" this week.

3.) WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BUCS?
When you get shut out 27-0 by an ancient quarterback and a team that hadn't won on the road all last year, where do we begin: the O line was banged up, Chris Simms looked like a rookie again, Joey Galloway (no catches) must have missed his wake up call, Caddy only had 8 carries for 22 yds and Gruden was too fired up in calling for a review on a 4th down spot in the first quarter. C'mon Chucky, if your team knew how to gain yardage you wouldn't have to haggle over one yard!

4.) PATS IN NEED OF OFFENSIVE HELP
With Deion Branch busy packing his bags for the Pacific Northwest Tom Brady and his band of receivers were having all sorts of difficulty putting points on the board vs Buffalo. But what do you expect when your corps is made up of Troy Brown, Reche Caldwell and Bam Childress? After managing only 19 points and 163 yards in the air against the Bills (2TDs, 1 FG, 1 BIG safety), Brady is going to have to rely heavily on his tight ends and running backs to shoulder the load of losing Branch to Seattle. Luckily sleeper rookie RB Lawrence Maroney had an impressive debut, racking up 86 yards rushing, including 22 & 26 yd'ers on his first 2 NFL carries.

5.) QUARTERBACK COMEBACKS
Not coming back in the game but coming back TO the game, three QB's who were injured last season had impressive first games in '06: Chad Pennington rebounded nicely from rotator cuff surgery to go 24-33, 319 yds & 2 TDs in the Jets 23-16 win over Tennessee. Donovan McNabb overcame a nasty sports hernia (he named it T.O.) to post an impressive 24-35, 314, 3 TD line in Philly's 24-10 win at Texas. And Carson Palmer looked as calm, cool & collected as always in guiding the Bengals to a 23-10 thrashing of the Chiefs in KC after suffering a serious knee injury in the playoffs last year.

6.) REGGIE BUSH'S DEBUT? PRETTY DARN GOOD
The 2nd overall pick in the draft (who was #1 again? nice pick Texas) had a solid if unspectacular debut for the Saints in their 19-14 win at Cleveland. He ran the ball 14 times for 61 yards, caught 8 balls for 51 yards and returned 3 punts for 22 yards for a grand total of 141 total yards in his first NFL game, and the Saints had him on the bench at the end of the game or his numbers could've been better. But at least rookie Coach Sean Payton used the versatile rookie frequently and effectively; it's only a matter of time before he dazzles everyone with one of his patented cut-back, side step breakaway runs.

7.) BEST G.B. TEAM EVER BRETT?
Me thinks Mr. Favre might be choking on that infamous preseason assertion for the rest of the miserable season as the Packers were downright humiliated by the archrival Bears 26-0 on their hallowed "tundra". It was the first time a Favre team had been shutout in his career. Brett was a pedestrian 15-29 for 170 yds and 2 more "Favres", errr interceptions, this despite the fact that Ahman Green ran for over 100 yards. Look for more games like this, and plenty more Favres from Favre before the man realizes he should have retired instead of keeping the team in the lurch all those months.

8.) T.O. GOT HIS TD, STILL DALLAS LOST
Well at least he didn't mouth off at his QB or coach. But that's about the only positive thing to come out of Dallas' disappointing 24-17 loss to the Jags. QB Drew Bledsoe continued his mystifying pattern of throwing ill-advised INTs at crucial times (he had 3 for the game) and the running game was poor as well, managing only 88 yards. so who's to blame? Parcells for sticking with his man Bledsoe despite clamoring for backup Tony Romo, who performed well in preseason? Bledsoe himself for fooling everyone into thinking he still had what it took to guide a team to the postseason? Or owner Jerry Jones for bringing Owens in and creating a massive early distraction that may have affected team concentration & preparation? Not sure but ironically the one person you CANNOT blame (for once) is TO, who had a nice debut in Blue (6 catches for 80 yards & 1 TD).

9.) BIG BEN IS OVERRATED
It has long been said that Ben Roethlisberger is no more than a caretaker, a facilitator of the offense whose job it was to hand off to the Bus, throw 5-10 yard dump passes and not commit any turnovers. In other words the latest incarnation of Trent Dilfer. Well that argument was further validated when Charlie Batch stepped in for A-Ben-dicitis in the season opener. What did Charlie do? He merely went 15-28 for 209 yards, 3 TDs & no turnovers in the Champs 28-17 win over Miami on Thursday night. Not spectacular numbers, just efficient, workmanlike, and error-free. Sound like anyone you know? QB controversy anyone? Now Steeltown won't have to worry when Ben runs into his next calamity, like being stomped by an elephant at the zoo or something.

10.) ARE THE CARDINALS FOR REAL?
It's pretty hard to tell considering they played the 49ers on Sunday. But you still have to be impressed with the performance of the upstart Cards: they scored 34 points, 21 in the first quarter after going down 7-0 early. They amassed 367 total yards including 330 and 3 TDs from china doll Kurt Warner. They won their home opener in their palacial new stadium in front of a sold-out crowd with Fergie performing. True they allowed 393 yards to the lowly Niners, but hey, don't rain on the parade.

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The double MNF dip is over-whew!



Who says Monday Night Football is dead?!

Game 2 of the historic Monday Night Football doubleheader just ended and all I can say is- "wow". Back-to-back football games on a Monday night is an unprecedented and daring move by ESPN, and let me just say kudos to the Worldwide Leader. It was almost like an entire Sunday afternoon/evening crammed into one night.

It started with special editions of Around the Horn and PTI from 3:00-4:00, followed by NFL Primetime from 4:00-5:00, and then the mack-daddy Monday Night Countdown extravaganza from 5:00-7:00.
That show led into the Vikings/'Skins tilt, and what an opening. First there was a moving 9/11 tribute, followed by a beautiful, gut-wrenching rendition of the National Anthem- if it didn't bring a tear to your eye then you're not American. Speaking of not American, the cameras tracked Redskin owner Daniel Snyder's new business partner and his slave, err fiancee, quite a bit, TomKat. Before I could dry my eyes the familiar MNF intro music kicked up, and the hairs on the neck stood up again.

But this wasn't your ordinary MNF intro piece- no T.O. and a Desperate actress. This thing was like a piece of cinema, with Ladanian Tomlinson heading to the game in a limo, and Raider defenders like Michael Huff preparing to stop him. It also included players Dwight Smith (probably brought his own gun), Antwan Randle-El, aand Darren Sharper. The whole thing was filmed like a cross between "24" and Any Given Sunday, and by the end of the clip I was waiting for the sequel! I mean this thing had to have a bigger budget than Clerks II. Can we get the rest on iTunes yet?

But that wasn't all. Next it segued into a shot of The Governator himself walking down a Hollywood set; he picks up a football helmet and declares "I'm ready for some football (cheesy, I know, but at least he didn't say "I'll be back"). The people on the street morphed into football players and the entire city transformed into a futuristic arena in a style that reminded me of Blade Runner meets Terminator. Now I'm not saying that high-tech special effects and big-time celebrities make for an awesome start to a new era for the MNF franchise, but it worked with me. I'm easily impressed.

Finally it was time for Hank Williams Jr and "Are you Ready for Some Football" - and wouldn't you know they pulled out all the stops there as well. Joing Hank were top musicians from all fields including Little Richard (oh well), Joe Perry, Charlie Daniels, Bootsy Collins, and Stevie van Zandt, otherwise known as Silvio from Sopranos. I didn't even care that there was flagrant GMC truck product placement sprinkled throughout- it's 2006. Simply put- IT KICKED ASS.

By this time I was pretty worn out, and hungry. By the time haltime of the first game rolled around I had already scarfed down 2 pork chops w/ rice & broccoli, 4-5 cold beverages and a gi-nourmous piece of my wife's delicious chocolate/chocolate chip cake. The combination of it all made me think I was a buzzed Oompa Loompa floating down a river of chocolate lager. Heavenly.

Oh yeah-the games. The Redskins gagged and Brad Johnson won the Battle of Ancient QBs vs. MarkBrunell, 19-16. And in the nightcap San Diego and L.T. bushwhacked the hapless Raiders 27-0 (hmm, same score as the Bucs; and those 2 teams met in the Bowl a mere 3 years ago?!). It's the first time Oakland has been shut out at home in 25 years; Just score, baby!

But by that time I didn't care. Didn't care that I had lost my football pool, didn't care that the second game was absolutely unwatchable, especially for Raider Nation. Nope all I cared about was the cold one in my hand, the Munchies snack mix bag on my lap, and the ear-to-ear smile on my face. NBC tried to kill of an American institution. But ESPN used all the clout in their Disney-sized coffers to pull the franchise back from the abyss. I loved the MNF Doubleheader. And the best part about it all? No Pink!

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Monday, September 11, 2006

NCAA WEEK 2 RECAP

1.) 1OHIO ST. CLEARLY #1
After a dominating 24-7 victory over the #2 ranked Longhorns in Austin, the Buckeyes proved to any doubters that they are THE team to beat this year. With 2 Heisman candidates (QB Troy Smith & RB Tedd Ginn, Jr.), a rabid fan base and underrated defense, it's Miami or bust. UP NEXT: vs. Cincy

2.) 9NOLES OFFENSE IS OFFENSIVE
Okay Papa Bowden, it's time to come to your senses and realize that son Jeff is NOT a D-1 offensive coordinator. Not only did they need 2 late TDs to get by the mighty men of Troy 24-17, but the running game pulled another no-show: after walking for 1 yard in the Miami win, they upped the production to 45 yds on Sat. With all that talent on offense (Weatherford, Fagg, Booker, Davis, Carr...) a decent coordinator would get more from them than what Jeff is. Bobby, just say no to nepotism! UP NEXT: vs. Clemson, 7:45 ESPN

3.) 2IRISH BOUNCE BACK WITH THUMPING OF PENN ST.
Okay, all the prognosticators who said that ND will be in the title game and Brady Quinn will win the Heisman can rest easy again. After a scare in Atlanta last week the Irish went back to the hallowed grounds of Touchdown Jesus and laid a woodshed beatdown on Jo-Pa's rebuilding Nitny Lions, 41-17. Quinn was back in form with a 25-36, 287 yd, 3 TD day while new Lion QB had it rough- 189 yds, 1 INT, 1 fumble retn'd for TD. UP NEXT: vs. 11Michigan, 3:30 NDC

4.) AKRON BEATS NC ST. AT HOME
This was one of those games that makes everyone associated with the Wolfpack program take a step back and go "uh-oh". Akron RB Darius Kennedy's 3rd TD of the day with just over a minute left sent the Zips home 20-17 winners and sent shockwaves throughout tobacco country; many fans are calling for Coach Amato's resignation. Although Akron had some decent wins on the road last year most were against MAAC opponents, but they also got drilled at Miami (Oh.) 51-23.

5.) 12L'VILLE DIDN'T SEEM TO MISS BUSH
Despite losing star senior tailback Michael Bush for the year on a knee injury last week the Cardinals didn't seem to miss a beat with a 62-0 annihilation of Temple. Bush's replacements filled in admirably, as George Stripling and Sergio Spenser both ran for 2 TDs each and the 'Ville rushed for a sod-searing 312 yards and 7 TDs! Hey, maybe it's the system. UP NEXT: 17 Miami, 3:30

6.) ADRIAN PETERSON, MAN ON A MISSION
Although he ran for 139 yards and 2 scores in the 11Sooners 24-17 opening win against UAB, tailback Adrian Peterson was criticized by his offensive coordinator. Coach Kevin Wilson implored his talented junior to be more agressive and quit dancing around waiting for the big play- just pound the ball & soften up the "D". He took the advice and ran roughshod over the Washington Huskies to the tune of 32 carries, 165 yards and 2 scores; he had a hefty 5.2 YPC. Keep criticizing, Coach, and you may have a Heisman winner there.

7.) SYRACUSE BREAKS OUT OLD-SCHOOL UNIs
In the age of brighter, bolder and often times blinding uniform schemes kudos to the Orange (gotta remind myself not to add -'men') for busting out the '60s retro gear. True these things don't exactly blend in or anything, but the more muted orange, sharp blue and cool double stripes make this look an improvement over previous 'Cuse garb. And way better than Oregon!

8.) RUTGERS ROLLING TO 2-0 START
Okay, they've beaten a floundering No. Carolina team, 21-16 (on the road) and a disappointing Illinois squad (fireronzook.com II anyone?) 33-0. But hey, 2-0 is 2-0 and Rutgers and their loyal, success-starved alums aren't complaining. Especially after the way they dominated the Illini on both sides of the ball: the offense racked up 311 total yds, including 166 on the ground. The defense swamped Illinois early and often as they held them to 126 total yards, forced 3 TOs and returned an INT & blocked a punt for TDs. Pretty impressive, and even the most staunch critics of Coach Greg Schiano ( Ira, are you listening?) must admit that he's got the storied program headed back in the right direction. UP NEXT: vs. Ohio

9.) 10BULLDOGS WIN 'COCK FIGHT 18-0
Well I bet the Old Ballcoach (boy do I hate that overworked nickname) didn't see this one coming. Even though the signs were there when the Gamecocks barely defeated Miss St 15-0, no one in Columbia envisioned the rebuilding 'Dawgs coming in and shutting down the punchless offense. Better go back to the drawing board, Stevie, and see if you got any of those old Fun-n-Gun plays left over that you can try.

10.) MY PICKS: HOW I FARED
Well at least I had a winning record, although my scores were a little off. Here's a reminder of my calls:
-MY:Ohio St. 24-21 ACTUAL: OSU 24-7
Hey I had the team and the 24, good enough for me
-MY: Irish 31-28 ACTUAL: Irish 41-17
Penn St. couldn't score more than 17?
-MY: BC 24-17 ACTUAL: BC 33-32, 2OTs
I guess Clemson is better than I thought
-MY: Cal 38-28 Actual: Cal 42-17
Bears took out frustration on Gophers
-MY: So Car. 17-14 ACTUAL: Georgia 18-0
What the heck is a 'Nole fan doing siding w/ Stevie?

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Wanna get away?

Quick question: which Southwest Airlines " Are you Ready for Football Season Yet?" ad is better: the one where the supermarket cashier says "I'm open" and the dude in the aisle hits him in the chest with the pineapple? Or the one in the Bed, Bath, Beyond-type store where one lady zings the other lady across the ass with a plush towel?
Discuss.

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Monday Night Football: Let's play 2 !

Vikings @ Redskins 7:00 PM

Chargers @ Raiders, 10:15 PM

Tonight is a historic night for the NFL, its fans, degenerate gamblers and FF Geeks all over the world: not one but two Monday Night Football games tonight as ESPN takes over the franchise that ran for 36 years on ABC.
Not sure quite what to make of this odd phenomenon yet- it' so rare and unfamiliar that I'm not sure how to react. But plenty of people are reacting vociferously about the issue on both sides of the fence. The purists, and talk radio yahoos like JT the Brick(head) think that having 2 games on a night that has long been reserved for 1 "special game" is sacrilegious. But the people I mentioned above (especially the gamblers and FF Geeks) are acting like it's the second biggest day of the year. Not sure if they mean behind Christmas or the Super Bowl. But as I'm sitting here and Hank Williams is firing up the MNF theme song and it's only 6:30PM on the east Coast, I must say it does feel a bit...odd. But hey this is the new millennium, where we have instant replay in tennis & college football, Wild Card teams in baseball, college football on Fridays and Thursday night NFL games So what's so bad about a double dose of pigskin on Monday night?
Don't knock it, just sit back and take it all in. It's only going to happen once this season. And after 14 lbs. of food and nearly as many cold beverages, as the Charger/Raiders game is in the late 3rd quarter and the fans in the Black Hole are starting to look cool to you, just remember that you can thank NBC for paying a gazillion dollars to steal an institution away from a network and leaving the gamblers of the country in a double-headed Tuesday funk.
Enjoy!

Did I mention that I am tied for the lead in the office pool and now need to sweat out 2 games instead of 1 to find out if I win the "jackpot"?

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