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Cincinnati (8-5) @ Indy (11-2)
8:30PM ESPN
I am looking forward to the game tonight if for no other reason than these two teams played one of the most entertaining games ever last season.
The Mannings prevailed 45-37 in a shootout in the Queen City as Peyton Manning threw for 365 yards and 3 TDs and the two teams compiled 943 total yards of offense.
Carson Palmer also threw for over 330 yards and three receivers went over 100 yards (Chad Johnson, Reggie Wayne, Marvin Harrison) in an aerial attack that hearkened back to the old Air Coryell days.
This game should feature more of the same. Although Manning & his offense isn't as explosive as they have been in the past and the team has lost 3 of the past 4 games, they still manage to score 26 PPG, good for 4th in the league.
Cincy has been revitalized the past month, ripping off 4 straight wins behind the energetic Johnson (765 receiving yards in the last 5 games), and it is the 7th highest scoring team in the league at 24 PPG.
Defense is neither teams' forte either. Indy was gashed for 375 yards on the ground in Jacksonville last week and allows more yards rushing per game (176) than any other team.
Cincy is 29th in the NFL in yards allowed per game (347) but only 11th in points allowed, shoring up that area since the 49-41 debacle against the Chargers.
So what does that all mean for tonight? Palmer & Manning should both go over 300 yards again. CJ, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Wayne & Harrison should all go over 100 yards receiving, and Bengals RB Rudi Johnson should rush for about 130 yards and 2 scores. The Colts will only run for 66 yards but Manning and his acrobatic receivers should still prevail in what has become a must-win game for the suddenly struggling Mannings.
MY PICK: Indy 37, Bengals 35
Monday, December 18, 2006
Monday Night matchup should be a wild one
Monday, November 13, 2006
Alias Smith & Johnson do in the Bucs again
Panthers 24, Bucs 10
MY PICK: Panthers 24-17
TOT. YDS:
TB:222
CAR:318
RUSH YDS:
TB:69
CAR:78
PASS YDS:
TB:153
CAR:240
TOs:
TB:4
CAR:2
This game was lost for the putrid-but-pesky Bucs early in the first quarter when Tampa Bay had a chance to take a 7-0 lead on a long touchdown pass to Joey Galloway. The only problem was that QB Bruce The Rocket Gradkowski overthrew the speedy old wideout by about two yards right near the Panthers end zone and the ball fell as harmlessly as the Bucs playoff hopes have this season. That play epitomized both Gradkowski's struggles taking the reins of the offense from Chris Simms and the way the Bucs season has gone so far this year; their theme music would be "My Eyes Adore You"-"...so close, so close and yet so far..."
The Bucs (2-7) played a spirited contest- at least for a half- especially on defense, where they were without 3 starters, but in the end it was the ineptitude of their offense that led to this soul-crushing defeat. Quarterback Bruce Gradkowski had three turnovers on his own (2INTs, 1 fumble), missed some open men and had at least 4 more balls dropped (do the Bucs lead in that category? I gotta Google that. Imagine if they had drop-ball king T.O.D. back there, too.) Throw in a Cadillac Williams fumble caused by teammate Dwayne White's backside and it was an ass-backward kinda night for the boys in the pewter pants. After the missed opportunity to Galloway the Bucs punted twice before the defense made a big play. And I don't like to pat myself on the back (he says as his arm cracks), but it was Ronde Barber who forced former teammate Meshawn Johnson into fumbling the ball at the Carolina 48. Four plays later Gradkowski hit Ike Hilliard, who ironically wears Meshawn's old number, for a 6-yard touchdown that made it 7-0 Bucs. It was only the second touchdown the Bucs have scored in the first quarter all year (outscored 48-14 now in the opening frame), and it was the first TD allowed by Carolina in the first quarter all season. Hmm, talk about the law of averages.
The teams traded futile drives, with Ronde playing like a man possessed and nearly intercepting a Jake Delhomme (22-34, 240yds, 2TDs, 1INT) pass and the makeshift Buc defense doing a
good job of harassing Delhomme and stuffing the run. But right before the half the Bucs blew another opportunity to add to their lead. After picking up a couple of first downs and driving to midfield Gradkowski again went for Galloway deep right out of the two-minute warning, only this time the pass didn't fall incomplete. This one went into the arms of S Ken Lucas at the Carolina 1, and it was a momentum-swinging play, the last time it would appear that the Bucs were in the game. Although Ronde did get an interception of Delhomme right before the half, an unsportsmanlike call for team celebrating nullified the good field position. By the time the Bucs knew what happened Gradkowski tossed another pick, this time on a deep pass intended for Michael Clayton, and with 3 picks in 1:17 it was "Are You Ready for Some Halftime."During the break the Panthers must have taken a look at their god-awful stats (98 total yards, 24 rushing yards, 3
first downs), realized they were playing against a kiddie core of defenders in place of the injured Rice, Quarels and Wyms, and decided to force the issue a bit. Plus they knew the Bucs offense is more bumbling & incompetent than Borat so they could afford to take a few chances. Like the 43-yard bomb to Steve Smith on 3rd & 6 that led to a 28-yard field goal just two minutes into the 2nd half. And the 4-yard TD to Meshawn (6 catches, 37 yds, 1TD, 1 Emmy-worthy acting job on a penalty) just 3 minutes after the Panthers D forced Gradkowski to fumble the ball at his own 44 on an attempted scramble. The big play on that drive was a 21-yard reception to Smith, who despite puking his guts out on the sidelines all game due to a virus, torched the Bucs to the tune of 8 catches for 149 yards & a score. In his last 2 games against Tampa Bay the diminutive receiver has 15 catches for 261 yards (17/YPC) and a TD. 
MNF Preview: Bucs at Panthers
Tampa Bay Bucs (2-6)
@ Carolina Panthers (4-4)
8:30 PM ESPN
The struggling Bucs travel to Charlotte to take on the disappointing Panthers in an NFC South showdown that has been spirited, and extremely one-sided, the past few years.
Carolina has won six of the past seven meetings including a costly defeat for Tampa Bay on September 24th, when Bucs QB Chris Simms was lost for the year after he suffered a spleen injury. Tonight the Bucs will be further depleted when defensive starters LB Shelton Quarles(knee), DE Simeon Rice (shoulder) and DE Ellis Wyms (ankle) will not play due to injuries. For a Buccaneer defense already on the far side of mediocre- 342 YPG allowed(26th in NFL), 134 rushing YPG (27th) and 21.6 points allowed per game- it could add up to a very long night for the aging unit.
It's interesting how most of the teasers leading up to this game have featured DB Ronde Barber as the Buc representative of the game. With unproven rookie QB Bruce Gradkowski nationally unknown outside of Toledo & Pittsburgh, and flashy RB Cadillac Williams suffering from a Michael Clayton-esque sophomore slump (453 yards, 1TD) the only guy well known outside of DBrooks and Mike Alstott is Ronde. He is the face of the franchise and its defensive leader, along with Brooks, and the possibility of the Bucs winning this game rest squarely on the cornerback's shoulders. Mr. 20-20 (career picks & sacks) will have to be a factor in this game; the Bucs will need his pressure off the edge on blitzes since they will be without pass rushers Rice & Wyms, and he will need to patrol the backfield relentlessly & shut down WRs Steve Smith & old friend Meshawn Johnson. In their last meeting at Ray Jay Smith (7 catches, 112 yards) and Johnson (7 catches, 97 yards, 1TD, 1 TD rushing) torched the Bucs early & often in the Panther's 26-24 win. Barber probably has to score, or the defense will need to come up with a couple of big plays, in order for the Bucs to have a chance.
Since the defense will be stretched thin tonight it's going to be up to the offense to get something done. Gradkowski is learning on the job and like any greenhorn he is doing some things well (6TDs to only 1 INT) and others not so well (52% completions, 73.7 QB rating.) But Tampa Bay needs to try and run the football; for some reason Chucky has abandoned the running game in too many games this season, including 25 attempts for 64 yards in the last meeting, and that's part of the reason Williams has so few yards. Tampa Bay is only averaging 82 yards/game on the ground, 32nd in the league. Yikes. What happened to "pound the rock", ey Chucky?
Gradkowski is going to have to make some throws of longer than 10 yards- he's only 15 for 48 in that department, but has had a few dropped (ahem, Galloway)- but the Bucs will have to methodically move the chains via the running game to keep the potentially explosive Panther offense off the field for as long as possible. All of this is a tall task against a defense that lives to chew up quarterbacks and spit them out, led by fearsome DE Julius Peppers. Gradkowski may be running for his life out there, but unlike Simms he can scramble and should not suffer the same intestine-crushing fate of his teammate.
Do the Bucs have a chance in this one? It's the NFL- the Browns have won 2 on the road- so anything is possible. But what are the odds of a team missing 3 defensive starters and starting a rookie quarterback going into an opposing stadium and knocking off a former Super Bowl team that is hungry for a return trip? I'd say slim to none, but I hope the Bucs don't turn back into the Yucks and keep the score respectable.
MY PICK: Panthers 24, Bucs 17
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
They're Baaaacckkk! Pats massacre Vikes, 31-7
On Halloween Eve the Patriots played the roles of well-known horror movie characters in their 31-7 bludgeoning of the Minnesota Vikings. Let's take a look back in case you missed it.
Jigsaw. 
and just totally destroy a team using another aspect of the game at your disposal. Just as Jigsaw devises a clever puzzle for the potential victims to solve or else they face certain death, Belichick gave new Minny head coach Brad Childress a choice: "I'm going to beat you tonight, one way or another, so it's up to you to figure out a way to stop me." He couldn't. Brilliant & deadly.
Now calm down ladies, this obviously isn't a facial comparison-I don't think Leatherface would look that good in a suit & be able to pull Bridgit 
Moynihan! But the way Tommy Boy sliced up the Viking secondary last night it looked like he was using a chainsaw and just hacking cornerbacks, safties & linebackers in half. Brady came out throwing, and then he threw some more. The second half started with New England leading 17-0 and Brady threw some more. Soon the Pats were up 31-7 and Brady threw some more. When the bodies were removed form the field the Pats had dissected the Vikings through the air behind a career day for Brady: 29-43, 372 yards & 4 TDs. It was the most yardage Brady had ever thrown for in a regulation game, and to think he had at least 4 passes dropped & a 33-yarder called back on a penalty, or this number could have been creeping towards the 500 mark. Brady had 257 yards by halftime, and he used 10 different receivers in the game- talk about picking your poison. Only the creepiest villain in cinematic history could have done more damage to the Viking tonight. And he's probably busy making a pre-se-quel.The Patriots defense as the Dawn of the Dead zombies
Not the original, slow-footed creepies of the George Romero original, but the speedy, destructive killing machines of the excellent 2004 remake. The Pats defense played like those reanimated flesh-starved creatures last night as they had a singular mindset: bring down QB Brad Johnson and destroy any semblance of an offensive attack for Minnesota. Johnson was harassed, agitated, and uncharacteristically inaccurate in the game, ending up a meager 20-33 for 185 yards with no TDs & 3 horrible picks. Plus he was sacked and hassled every time he dropped back to throw. Tully Banta-Cain (a horror movie name if I ever heard one) had 2 sacks and terrorized both Johnson and his backup, Brooks Bollinger, who was sacked three times in a
row when he entered in the 4th quarter. Rodney Harrison, Mike Vrabel (7tkls) & Chad Scoot had interceptions, and the unit held the Vikes to 284 yards; the Vikes only points came on a 71-yd punt return by Mewelde Moore. Like their cinematic walking dead counterparts the Pats defense kept coming at the Vikes, who had no answers as to how to stop them and could only lie there helplessly while the flesh-eaters rolled over them and picked their bones clean.The Pats receivers as the swarm in The Birds
The re-vamped New England receiving corps resembled a flock of attacking winged creatures in this game, swooping in from all angles of the field and with an intensity that left Viking defenders swatting at the air in futile attempts to stop them. With Deion Branch now not catching passes in Seattle, Brady has found a way to replace his former number one receiver: spread the ball around to everyone and let them fight over who is going to have the bigger game. As I said before, 10 different players caught passes from Brady tonight: Watson, Caldwell, Gabriel, Maroney, Faulk, Brown, Dillon, Thomas, Jackson, Gaffney. That's waht you call spreading it around. And with Maroney limited on his carries due to the gameplan (8 carries, 34 yds) he found other ways to get involved, like 2 catches for 33 yds (1-20yder) and 2 kick returns for 91 yards, including a 77-yarder he nearly broke for a score immediately following Moore's runback.If the whole crew was a swarm, Maroney was the hawk, picking his spots and devouring the Vikings in a number of ways with accuracy, speed & skill.All in all it was a terrifying performance from the Patriots, who moved to 6-1, second best record in the league behind 7-0 Indy & Chicago. If these guys continue their assault on the league it appears that another popular feature of the horror genre may be on the horizon for them: the Championship Sequel, Part IV.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Monday Night Preview: Pats @ Vikes
Finally the Pats get a Monday Nighter. But why the hell do the 3-time champs have to travel to the hinterlands of the Minnesota Metrodome to get on prime time? I mean shouldn't the Vikes, who haven't won anything since Fran Tarkenton was slingin' the rock for them, have to travel to Foxborough for this game? Anyway, the Pats are unstoppable indoors , and Tom Terrific is just that inside: he has a 9-0 record away from the elements.
The Vikings (4-2) are one of the surprises of the league this year (all the more reason to question the MNF gift) and are coming off of a 31-13 demolition of the Seahawks last week in the Pacific Northwest. But the Pats have been quietly sneaking up on the rest of the league: they started out slowly, with unimpressive wins over Buffalo & the Jets and an ugly loss to the Broncos at Gillette. But since that 17-7 defeat on Sept. 24th New England has rattled off 3 straight impressive wins, and a win tonight would serve notice to the rest of the league that the Patriots are back on the Super Bowl map.
This game has all the makings of a run-fest. Minny has been riding the strong legs of Chester Taylor all season long. Taylor has carried the ball 136 times, the rest of the Viking running backs have 16 carries combines. Taylor lit up the Seahawks last week for 169 yards, including this 95-yard TD jaunt. He also leads the Vikes in receptions with 21. Long gone are the days of Culpepper-to-Moss. Now Brad Johnson guides the Minny offense, and it is his pinpoint accuracy and ability to lead the team rather than carry it that has made Minnesota so successful since he took the reigns from Culpepper midway through last season.
The Pats have also relied heavily on the running game. RB Lawrence Maroney leads all rookies with 361 yards on 86 carries while splitting time with aging workhorse Corey Dillon(328yds.) That double-barreled assault has allowed Brady to settle in to his new offense, spreading the ball around to a new group of receivers including Doug Gabriel, Chad Jackson, and TE Ben Watson (leading receiver with 21 grabs for 271 yards.) But Maroney played his college ball in the very building the Pats will be playing in tonight with the Minnesota Golden Gophers and he will have plenty of friends & family on hand tonight. Look for him to try and have a breakout game in his old digs despite the fact that he will be facing the league's stingiest run defense(70/YPG).
It has all the makings of a slug-it-out affair with both teams relying on veteran steady, accurate passers and dazzling young runners. Are the Vikes ready to win a game like this, in their 1st appearance at home on Monday Night in 5 years? We shall see.
MY PICK: Pats 24, Vikes 20
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Disaster in the Desert:Bears,down 20, catch Cards
Devin Hetser's kick return for a TD was the winning score
The second half brought more of the same: Grossman resembling the Grossman many people thought he would be- unsure, insecure, mistake-prone and absolutely clueless. The Bears offense was truly offensive on this night: 168 total yards, 6 penalties & 6 turnovers (not including 2 fumbles that were recovered.) But yet they would come back in this game. And it would be without the aid of an offensive touchdown. It all started when the Cards could not tack on any more points after their initial 20-pt burst. Time & time again Leinart & co. would try to get to the end zone and time & time again they failed. The game started to take on a feeling of "something is going to happen soon", and it soon did. The Bears finally got on the board with a FG halfway thru the 3rd quarter while the Bears D, obviously after a little pep talk at halftime, came out with a vengeance, led by All-Everything LB Brian Urlacher.
Near the end of the 3rd the Cards were pinned deep in their own end of the field when the Chicago D struck: Mark Anderson came at Leinart like a runaway train, smashing into the QB and jarring the ball loose; it was scooped up by Mike Brown who ran it in 3 yards for the score that gave the Bears a glimmer of hope and made the score 20-10 heading into the 4th. Unfortunately for Arizona it would not end there. The Cards looked as if they'd have a big, momentum swinging score when they intercepted Grossman and returned it 73 yards for an apparent score. But the score was overturned (he was down) and the Cards would eventually give it back to the Bears again. That's when the impossible happened and an interesting game turned into an all-timer. With over 5 minutes to go Edge James coughed up the ball near midfield thanks to the omnipresent Urlacher (11 tackles) and recovered at the 40. Charles Tillman scooped it up and ran the 40 yards for theTD and suddenly it was a 20-17 game with just 5:00 to go. Gulp.
"They couldn't blow this, could they?" is all I kept thinking, but despite my disbelief, the Cards could & would blow this. After a 5 play drive stalled the Cards were forced to punt it back to Chicago with 
about 3:00 minutes to go. Little did they know it would be the end of the game right there. The punt was fielded by rookie Devin Hester who took it at the 17 and raced 83 yards to the other end of the field for the soul-crushing, go-ahead TD that wound up being the final score 23-20. Although the Cards still had a shot, as Leinart drove the team and set up a 40-yd FG attempt with less than a minute to go. But normally clutch kicker Neil Rackers missed the potential game winner for the 2nd week in a row, and the Cards stole a defeat from the jaws of victory. In the blink of an eye the Cards' dynamite play, Leinart's excellent performance, and a ton of good feelings and positive happenings were wiped away and replaced with that familiar "oh no, not again, how did this happen?" feeling. Menawhile the Bears celebrated like it was 1999, somehow miraculously winning this game DESPITE NOT SCORING AN OFFENSIVE TOUCHDOWN.
As I said, I saw it and I know it happened, but I still don't understand how. Evidently neither does Cards coach Dennis Green, who gave an expletive-laced tirade in his postgame press conference before storming out without responding to the meltdown any further. To his credit Leinart remained the consummate pro in the end, saying all the right things and remaining the picture of responsibility and composure, even if his own coach could not do the same. It looks as though the Cards found a keeper in the young stud from Cali. It's too bad the team just can't find a way to win.
NOTES: There were a lot of 'firsts' in this wild one, here are a few:
- Bears became the 1st team in history to come back from 20pts down & win without the benefit of an offensive touchdown
-Cards became the 1st team to lose consecutive games when leading 14-0 after one quarter.
-Edge James became the first player to total so few rushing yards (55) on so many carries (36.)
I'm sure more firsts will come to light, but one thing's for sure: no one will forget the first Monday Night Football game played in the University of Phoenix Stadium. Ever.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Crescent City Crush-Job
The Dome was rockin & the unfortunate Falcons came a-knockin' It was like NFL Opening Night, Mardi Gras and the Super Bowl all rolled into one. The Saints came marching back in to New Orleans last night with enough pomp, circumstance and music to have qualified as a giant homecoming parade.
Which of course it was. After 56 weeks of agony and displace-ment, 23 consecutive road games, and millions of tears of pain & anguish, the New Orleans Saints returned to their home turf in grand style last night with a 23-3 pasting of the Atlanta Falcons in front of 69,000+ fans in house and millions more around the country who all had to be rooting for the new America's Team.It was a magical night all around starting with the grand opening of the renovated former hurricane relief center/symbol of a region in despair, The Superdome. And the organizers of this extravaganza sure kicked it off right. Brought in to be the opening act was none other that two modern titans of the music industry, Green Day & U2. Robin Roberts stated that U2's The Edge had set up a charitable fund called Music Rising and a clip played showing the efforts to bring the life blood of the Bayou country back home- the music. The clip then segued into Green Day's Billy Joe on stage singing their soulful ballad "Wake me up when September Ends". As the song concluded, Joe, channelling Moe Howard with his dark mop, croaked out a little rendition of "House of the Rising Sun"- "there is a house in New Orleans, it's called the Superdome..."; the chills were multiplyin' by now.
Then the crowd roared as U2's Bono entered stage right, sensing the real fun was about to begin. The two supergroups combined for a moving piece called, appropriately enough, "The Saints are Coming". By now the gooseflesh was rising and the tears were welling- the sight and sound of two of music's greatest bands of the past 25 years belting out the refrain "the Saints are coming..." over & over while the crowd went wild was a powerful emotional scene that will be etched in my memory for a long time. Bono's melodic voice spoke to the essence of what was going on in the area: "...Lower 9th (Ward) will rise again, above the waters of Lake Pontchartrain..." They capped it off with the uplifting anthem "(It's a) Beautiful Day" as the building rocked & the tears flowed-"... Fats Domino, you're beautiful, Allen Toussaint, you're beautiful, Aaron Neville, you're beautiful"- and it truly was a beautiful day for the millions of hope-starved citizens of New Orleans. The whole clip can be viewed here, and please view it; in a word that opening sequence was FREAKIN' AWESOME!But wait, was there still a game to be played? Oh yes there was, and whoever said Bono isn't a prophet was lying because after the Saints took the field, their field, for the first time since Dec 26th, 2004 ironically against these very Falcons, the onslaught began. After a short-lived drive in which Mike Vick almost lost a fumble on 3rd down Atlanta was forced to punt from deep in
their own end. New punter/old placekicker Michael Koenen didn't fare much better at his new position as New Orleans' Steve "Stevie G" Gleason snuck right up the middle, blocked the punt with his belly and Curtis Deloache fell on the ball in the end zone for a Saint TD a mere 30 seconds into the game; the Saints were indeed coming, and they were going to run right over the helpless Falcon squad right from the get-go. As Deloache reverse-spiked the ball over the goalpost and pointed to the screaming fans in the stands I thought to myself "I hope they repaired that roof real good, 'cause if not it might just cave in from all the noise."
The good times continued as the Saints repeatedly stymied Vick, Dunn and Atlanta's vaunted rushing attack. After a Falcon FG the Saints pulled a beautiful double-reverse, using Reggie Bush as a decoy in handing off to former LSU star Devery Henderson, who scampered in for the 11-yard score and a 14-3 lead. Another Saint FG pushed the lead to 17-3 and when Atlanta threatened to add a morale-boosting FG before the half the Saints turned it into a morale-killer: they blocked former Saint kicking legend Morten Anderson's 25-yd attempt, then marched down the field and with help from a foolish late hit penalty on Atlanta CB Kevin Mathis hit a 51-yd FG as time expired for a 20-3 halftime lead.
But the game was over then. As I had hoped and predicted (toot toot) the Saints rode the wave of emotion generated by their homecoming to an impressive victory that couldn't have been scripted better by Disney. Thanks to the awesome combined healing power of music, words, and terrific play a devastated area of our country was allowed to let loose, have fun, and forget their troubles for at least one day. It was one of the most powerfully moving sporting events I have ever witnessed, and one that will linger in the minds of fans and Americans for quite a while.
At least until the Bucs come to town in 2 weeks.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Jags dominate World Champs, 9-0
Roethlisberger did not like what he saw Monday nightIn an old-school smash mouth game the Jags took the Steelers out to the playground, pushed them in the sandbox and stole their lunch money. In the process they helped set a number of first & worst records: held the Steelers to their lowest rushing total (26) since 1982. Shut out a defending Super Bowl champ for the first time in 25 years (Raiders in '81.) And they contributed to the lowest scoring game in the storied history of Monday Night Football (36+ years & 540+ games.) Whew.
The Jags swarming defense not only stymied the ground game that Pitt loves to employ but they also battered Roethlisberger repeatedly and intercepted him twice, both by Rashean Mathis in the 4th quarter. Ben was obviously tentative in his first game back since undergoing an emergency appendectomy on Sept 3rd, and the Jags showed no mercy in mauling him at every opportunity. they're the champs-they wear the bulls eye.
A sign of what was to come could be found in the pregame intros. Instead of the tedious "player announcing what school he went to" and the inevitable responses of "Da U" or "Prescott Country Day School" (that stuff's tired guys), the new & improved MNF uses one player from each unit on each team to introduce his teammates. This has been providing some interesting results, none better than Jax LB Mike Peterson's priceless intro of his defensive cohorts:
"Welcome to Duvall (Co.). Prepare to be hit.Oh we do Mike, we do.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
The double MNF dip is over-whew!
Game 2 of the historic Monday Night Football doubleheader just ended and all I can say is- "wow". Back-to-back football games on a Monday night is an unprecedented and daring move by ESPN, and let me just say kudos to the Worldwide Leader. It was almost like an entire Sunday afternoon/evening crammed into one night. 
It started with special editions of Around the Horn and PTI from 3:00-4:00, followed by NFL Primetime from 4:00-5:00, and then the mack-daddy Monday Night Countdown extravaganza from 5:00-7:00.
That show led into the Vikings/'Skins tilt, and what an opening. First there was a moving 9/11 tribute, followed by a beautiful, gut-wrenching rendition 
of the National Anthem- if it didn't bring a tear to your eye then you're not American. Speaking of not American, the cameras tracked Redskin owner Daniel Snyder's new business partner and his slave, err fiancee, quite a bit, TomKat. Before I could dry my eyes the familiar MNF intro music kicked up, and the hairs on the neck stood up again.
But this wasn't your ordinary MNF intro piece- no T.O. and a Desperate actress. This thing was like a piece of cinema, with Ladanian Tomlinson heading to the game in a limo, and Raider defenders like Michael Huff preparing to stop him. It also included players Dwight Smith (probably brought his own gun), Antwan Randle-El, aand Darren Sharper. The whole thing was filmed like a cross between "24" and Any Given Sunday, and by the end of the clip I was waiting for the sequel! I mean this thing had to have a bigger budget than Clerks II. Can we get the rest on iTunes yet?
But that wasn't all. Next it segued into a shot of The Governator himself walking down a Hollywood set; he picks up a football helmet and declares "I'm ready for some football (cheesy, I know, but at least he didn't say "I'll be back"). The people on the street morphed into football players and the entire city transformed into a futuristic arena in a style that reminded me of Blade Runner meets Terminator. Now I'm not saying that high-tech special effects and big-time celebrities make for an awesome start to a new era for the MNF franchise, but it worked with me. I'm easily impressed.
Finally it was time for Hank Williams Jr and "Are you Ready for Some Football" - and wouldn't
you know they pulled out all the stops there as well. Joing Hank were top musicians from all fields including Little Richard (oh well), Joe Perry, Charlie Daniels, Bootsy Collins, and Stevie van Zandt, otherwise known as Silvio from Sopranos. I didn't even care that there was flagrant GMC truck product placement sprinkled throughout- it's 2006. Simply put- IT KICKED ASS.
By this time I was pretty worn out, and hungry. By the time haltime of the first game rolled around I had already scarfed down 2 pork chops w/ rice & broccoli, 4-5 cold beverages and a gi-nourmous piece of my wife's delicious chocolate/chocolate chip cake. The combination of it all made me think I was a buzzed Oompa Loompa floating down a river of chocolate lager. Heavenly.
Oh yeah-the games. The Redskins gagged and Brad Johnson won the Battle of Ancient QBs vs. MarkBrunell, 19-16. And in the nightcap San Diego and L.T. bushwhacked the hapless Raiders 27-0 (hmm, same score as the Bucs; and those 2 teams met in the Bowl a mere 3 years ago?!). It's the first time Oakland has been shut out at home in 25 years; Just score, baby!
But by that time I didn't care. Didn't care that I had lost my football pool, didn't care that the second game was absolutely unwatchable, especially for Raider Nation. Nope all I cared about was the cold one in my hand, the Munchies snack mix bag on my lap, and the ear-to-ear smile on my face. NBC tried to kill of an American institution. But ESPN used all the clout in their Disney-sized coffers to pull the franchise back from the abyss. I loved the MNF Doubleheader. And the best part about it all? No Pink!
Monday, September 11, 2006
Monday Night Football: Let's play 2 !
Chargers @ Raiders, 10:15 PM
Tonight is a historic night for the NFL, its fans, degenerate gamblers and FF Geeks all over the world: not one but two Monday Night Football games tonight as ESPN takes over the franchise that ran for 36 years on ABC.
Not sure quite what to make of this odd phenomenon yet- it' so rare and unfamiliar that I'm not sure how to react. But plenty of people are reacting vociferously about the issue on both sides of the fence. The purists, and talk radio yahoos like JT the Brick(head) think that having 2 games on a night that has long been reserved for 1 "special game" is sacrilegious. But the people I mentioned above (especially the gamblers and FF Geeks) are acting like it's the second biggest day of the year. Not sure if they mean behind Christmas or the Super Bowl. But as I'm sitting here and Hank Williams is firing up the MNF theme song and it's only 6:30PM on the east Coast, I must say it does feel a bit...odd. But hey this is the new millennium, where we have instant replay in tennis & college football, Wild Card teams in baseball, college football on Fridays and Thursday night NFL games So what's so bad about a double dose of pigskin on Monday night?
Don't knock it, just sit back and take it all in. It's only going to happen once this season. And after
14 lbs. of food and nearly as many cold beverages, as the Charger/Raiders game is in the late 3rd quarter and the fans in 
the Black Hole are starting to look cool to you, just remember that you can thank NBC for paying a gazillion dollars to steal an institution away from a network and leaving the gamblers of the country in a double-headed Tuesday funk.
Enjoy!
Did I mention that I am tied for the lead in the office pool and now need to sweat out 2 games instead of 1 to find out if I win the "jackpot"?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!
THE SEASON KICKS OFF TONIGHT; HERE'S 10 QUESTIONS TO ANSWER: 
1.) HOW WILL THE STEELERS DO WITHOUT BIG BEN TONIGHT?
THEY SHOULD BEAT NEW MEDIA DARLING MIAMI AT THREE RIVERS EVEN WITHOUT ROETHLISBERGER, WHO IS OUT AFTER AN EMERGENCY APPENDECTOMY. BUT IF BEN MISSES ANY MORE TIME, BYE-BYE REPEAT. DOES THIS GUY HAVE A CURSE ON HIM OR WHAT THOUGH?
2.) ARE THE PATS DONE CONTENDING FOR THE TITLE? 
REPORTS OF THE PATRIOTS DEMISE HAVE BEEN GREATLY EXAGGERATED. SURE THEY'VE LOST SOME TALENT (McGINEST, GIVENS) AND THE BRANCH> HOLDOUT DOESN'T HELP MATTERS. BUT IF I'VE SAID IT ONCE , I'VE SAID IT 1000 TIMES: AS LONG AS THEY HAVE BRADY & BELICHICK THEY'VE GOT A CHANCE TO WIN IT ALL.
3.) WILL THE BUCS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS?
EVERYONE LOVES CAROLINA (AGAIN) AND OF COURSE VICK & CO. ARE ALWAYS A FASHIONABLE PICK. BUT IF THE NEW OFFENSIVE LINE, WHICH COULD START 2 ROOKIES (JOSEPH & TRUEBLOOD) CAN CONTROL THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE, LET SIMMS PASS & CADDY RUN, THE BUCS HAVE A DECENT SHOT. I HAVE THEM AT 10-6, WITH THEIR LOSSES BEING @ ATL, CIN, @NYG, @CAR, @DAL, @PIT, SEA, WHICH SHOULD BE ENOUGH TO GET IN. MAYBE. (BOLD PREDICTION, I KNOW)
4.)WHICH ROOKIE WILL MAKE THE BIGGEST IMPACT?
OF COURSE IT DEPENDS ON WHO PLAYS THE MOST. REGGIE BUSH WILL GET PLENTY OF TOUCHES & FIGURES TO BE THE SMART CHOICE; VINCE YOUNG IS APPARENTLY LIGHT YEARS FROM BEING READY TO GUIDE A TEAM, YET MAY START SOONER THAN LATER. BUT WHEN KURT WARNER GETS CRUMPLED LIKE A SCHLITZ CAN IN A BIKER BAR I THINK LEINART STEPS AND LEADS THE TALENTED AND HUNGRY CARDINALS TO A PLAYOFF BERTH.
5.)WHAT ABOUT BUSH'S SAINTS?
IT WILL BE EXCITING TO SEE THE BELEAGUERED SAINTS FINALLY PLAY AN ACTUAL HOME GAME, NOT A ROAD HOME GAME, WHEN THEY TAKE THE SUPERDOME FIELD ON MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL SEPT. 25 FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE POST-KATRINA ERA. THERE IS EXCITEMENT SURROUNDING THE TEAM WITH THE ACQUISITION OF QB DREW BREES FROM SAN DIEGO AND OF COURSE DRAFTING THE ELECTRICFYING BUSH. SO THEY SHOULD BE FUN TO WATCH, BUT AS FAR AS A WINNING RECORD, WELL THAT MIGHT BE A BIT MUCH TO ASK FOR. BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, THEY ARE GOING TO BE THE NEW "AMERICA'S TEAM".
6.) SPEAKING OF AMERICA'S TEAM, HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS?
I GIVE IT TILL ABOUT WEEK 5 BEFORE PARCELLS AND T.OWENS HAVE A FULL-ON EXPLOSION WHICH COULD RESULT IN SOMEONE GETTING HURT. THE BLEDSOE- OWENS MELTDOWN SHOULD BE JUST AS FUN. I PREDICT BY MIDSEASON T.O. WILL DEFECATE ON THE COWBOY STAR WHICH WILL PROMPT OWNER JERRY JONES TO SHIP HIM BACK TO SAN FRANCISCO.
7.)IS CARSON PALMER REALLY THE BEST QB IN THE LEAGUE?
ACCORDING TO MANY 'EXPERTS' HE IS. I GUESS JUST BECAUSE HE CAME BACK FROM A MANGLED KNEE AND THREW A COUPLE OF TD PASSES IN A PRESEASON GAME HE EARNED THAT TITLE? BUT IT SEEMS TO ME THAT PEOPLE ARE FORGETTING ABOUT THE 2 BEST QBs: THE WINNER(BRADY) AND STAT BOY (MANNING). UNTIL BOTH OF THEM RETIRE, THERE'S NO WAY PALMER IS BETTER-ESPECIALLY WITH A REPAIRED KNEE.
8.)WHICH TEAMS ARE READY TO MAKE THE PLAYOFF LEAP?
WELL I'VE ALREADY MENTIONED THE CARDINALS, WHICH IS A TEAM I & EVERYONE ELSE THOUGHT WAS READY LAST YEAR. BUT WITH LEINART, EDGE JAMES, A NEW STADIUM W/ ACTUAL FANS IN IT AND THOSE STUD RECEIVERS (BOLDIN & FITZGERALD), THEY ARE MY PICK FOR THE 2ND STRAIGHT YEAR. OTHERS EXPERTS LIKE MIAMI W/ CULPEPPER AND BALTIMORE, WHO FINALLY HAS A REAL QB (McNAIR). BUT I LOOK FOR CULPEPPER'S KNEE TO WILT IN THE SOUTH FLORIDA HEAT, AND McNAIR IS ONE BIG HIT AWAY FROM A RETIREMENT PARTY, SO MY SECOND SURPRISE TEAM IS...DETROIT- ALL HAIL NUDE DRIVERS!
9.)WHICH TEAMS ARE IN TROUBLE?
DETROIT- I FEEL BAD FOR NEW COACH ROD MARINELLI, A FORMER BUCS ASSISTANT 
WHO HAS HIS HANDS FULL IN D-TOWN. THEY RELEASED FORMER #1 PICK RECEIVER CHARLES RODGERS, THEIR ASSITANT COACH JUST GOT ARRESTED FOR DRIVING NUDE, AND THE STILL HAVE MATT MILLEN AS THE GM. BAD SIGNS, ROD, BAD SIGNS. OTHER TEAMS TO CRUMBLE INCLUDE MINNY, GREEN BAY(OF PIGS), & THE JETS, WHO ARE OLDER AND MORE BANGED UP THAN FARRAH FAWCETT>
10.)OUT ON A LIMB PREDICTIONS:
*ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: REGGIE BUSH- TOO MANY WAYS FOR HIM TO HURT YA
*MAKES THE PLAYOFFS: ARIZONA
*WON'T MAKE THE PLAYOFFS- MIAMI
*MVP: BRADY HE'LL DO MORE WITH LESS AND EARN THE ACCOLADES HE DESERVES
*SUPER BOWL: PATRIOTS VS. BUCS (NAH, I'M NOT A HOMER!)
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Lay off Kornheiser - it was his first game
A lot has already been written and said about this columnist/TV cohost/failed sitcom character/grouchy bald man after his debut on Monday Night Footbal last night.
But let's set a few things straight:
1.) IT WAS HIS FIRST GAME Who performs like a superstar their first day at a new job? No one I know. Most people are a combination of nerves, confidence, and nausea, which is exactly how Tony came off.
2.) IT WAS A FREAKIN' PRESEASON GAME Who is in mid-season form in the pre-season? No one I know. Not the coaches (well maybe Chucky, Belichick, Cowher, and Billick), not the players (well maybe Romo), not the refs, fans, nor announcers.
3.) TONY WAS THE WAY TONY ALWAYS IS- SURLY & CYNICAL Snapping at "Theesman" (which he did frequently, to everyone's delight), complaining about the job reqiurements (namely staying up WAY past his bedtime), not knowing players & coaches, and praying the game didn't go into overtime-THAT'S TONY BEING TONY (to paraphrase one of RSN's favorite sayings). These same qualities made him a lovable grouch on PTI, but under the harsher spotlight that is MNF (no matter what network), he is criticized for this behavoir.
But the best thing to come out of all of this is Korheiser's response to his critics on the Dan Patrick radio show today:
On fellow Washington Times columnist Paul Fahri (click title link for his piece): "he is a two-bit weasel slug who I would gladly run over with a mack truck".
When DP played a snippet of Mike & Mike cohost Mike Golic's comments, where Golic basically said he thought the debut was neither great nor terrible, to which DP proclaimed that Golic has some sour grapes about not being chosen for the job, Tony ripped off this beaut: "I heard he ripped me, and I'd love to ring Golic's neck and hang him over a shower rod like a duck... he thinks I'm gonna be a disaster, and it always sounds like he's saying "it shouldda been me".
PTI cohost Mike Wilbon on DP's show today actually said he "didn't have a problem with anything Golic said, in fact I probably would've been nodding in agreement with him" and graded his partners' performance as a C+.
Bottom line: cut the guy some slack, let the booth take shape as the season progresses, and don't rip a guy after 1 game. And keep this in mind: at least we didn't have comments like "this guy makes Max Cady look like Atticus Finch; Pat Buchanan is so homophobic he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt" to listen to (Dennis, we hardly miss ya).
