Set the DVR(s) to Hyperdrive, Mr. Sulu!

Ah, it's a beautiful spring-like April day throughout the country- finally (hey Northeast & Midwest, welcome to the club), but unfortunately for sports/TV junkies like me there's no time to take a stroll on the beach, play with the kids at the park, or catch up on that yardwork.

No, for there is just too much on the tube today & tonight, and the variety of the programming runs the gamut from icy (NHL Playoffs) to hot (Sloan on Entourage), and from irrational (Tony Soprano) to international (Red Sox pitcher Daisuke Matsuzaka.)

So buckle up folks, fire up that DVR (or, if you're like me and your wife works for BrightHouse, DVRs) and enjoy what could be one of the best television viewing days in recent memory:

NBA PLAYOFFS: (all game 1s)
12:30- Wizards @ Cavs
3:oo- Lakers @ Suns
7:00- Nuggets @ Spurs
9:30- Warriors @ Mavs

Four first round games are on tap for this fisrt Sunday of the playoffs, starting with LeBron James and the Cavs taking on the Wizards at 12:30 and ending with the Mavs latest drive for that elusive title against the Warriors (!) at 9:30. In between we get to see if Kobe can lead the Lakers to an upset of Steve Nash's Suns, and then after dinner we follow Tim Duncan as he tries not to laugh his way out of the game against Carmelo Anthony, A.I. and the Nuggs.

That's a solid 12 hours straight of NBA action, and for all you non-fans out there remember that it's the regular season that is meaningless, boring until the last 5 minutes of the game and seemingly never-ending; the playoffs are meaningful, boring until the last 5 minutes of the game and seemingly never-ending.

NHL PLAYOFFS:
1:00- Devils @ Lightning, GM 6 (NY leads, 3-2)
9:00- Red Wings @ Flames, GM 6 (Wings lead, 3-2)

Only two games on tap, which is good because of all the other action, but the two are a couple of good ones.

First the 'Ning will try to stay alive against the Devils in an elimination game down here at the Ice Palace. Martin Brodeur will try to stop Vinny, Marty & the Bolts from advancing to its second Cup final in 3 years, while the Devils are trying to capture its 4th cup in 10 years.

Later tonight the Wings will try and close out their series with the Flames, but as Lightning fans remember from that Cup-winning season, Calgary in April is not a hospitable place to be, and I'm not referring to the weather.

MLB:
Stankees @ Red Sox, 8P ESPN

Of course it's Sunday so every local team is on TV in their local markets, but the one game that really matters today is being played at 8:00 tonight, on an international stage, with the fate of the free world hanging in the balance

Okay, so I may have exaggerated that last part, but tonight's game between the old, bitter rivals marks the introduction of Japanese hurler Daisuke Matsuzaka, or as he's affectionately know in Beantown, Dice-K, to the madhouse that is the Sox/Yankees rivalry.

There will be hundreds on media members at the old ballpark on Yawkey Way tonight, which just celebrated the 95th anniversary of the first game ever played there, and the eyes of two Nations, Japan and Red Sox, will eagerly await the results of Dice-K's first Evil Empire experience.

Oh yeah, Boston is going for a three-game sweep after wiping the Stanks out the first two games.

(For much, much more on this series & game, click to my Sox blog, Curt's Bloody Sock.)

MUST-SEE TV:

9:00: The Sopranos
10:00- Entourage

The two series are running neck and neck so far over the first two episodes for entertainment bang-for-the-buck.

The mob drama is on its last legs, and not because Johnny Sack ordered a hit on anyone before he succumbed to cancer last week. No, there are only 7 more episodes of this landmark series, and creator David Chase is steadily building the foundation for a potentially explosive finale.

Then again he may have Tony retire to St. Pete where he and Carm sit on the beach and sip margaritas all day long while AJ tries to run the family business.

Either way, it's worth watching the ending of one of the most influential TV series of all time.

On the other hand that show's HBO Sunday Night counterpart, Entourage, is just sinking its teeth into the American pop culture landscape. The show became a breakout hit last season, and so far this season has kept it's foot on the gas.

Whether you tune in for Vince's good looks, Ari's raunchy put-downs, Drama's hilarious nuggets of knowledge or Sloan's smoking hot, well, you get the point, this show is a must for those who want to be in on the watercooler talk on Monday.

There you have it, a FULL day of terrific television viewing.
In case you need help with what to watch, what to TiVo and what to PIP, here's my plan:

1:00-4:00- watch Lightning, PIP Wiz/Cavs

4:00-6:00-at the ballfield forLittle League practice (I was kidding about ignoring the kids)

6:00-8:00- watch end of Lakers/Suns, PIP Nugs/Spurs

8:00-11:30 watch Sox pummel Stanks

9:00-10:30- record Sopranos & Entourage

11:30-? *watch end of Wings/Flames, PIP Warriors Mavs (*NHL playoff elimination games always take precedence over NBA GM 1s)

12:00ish- replay Sopranos & Entourage

You're welcome.

Enjoy.

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Oh yeah, I almost forgot...

..the NHL All Star Game is tonight!

No shit, I hadn't even realized the season had started and it's already at the midway point.

Don't laugh, you know you had no idea either.

I guess I've been so caught up with Bowl season, NFL playoffs and awards shows/nominations that I forgot the NHL was even back in action after its laughably debilitating work stoppage.

How far has the sport fallen since that ill-fated strike of 2004-05? The marquee event showcasing the league's talent is being held on a Wednesday night on a lowly cable channel called Versus, form-erly known as the Nashville Network and Spike TV, and Outdoor Life Network.

I'm not making this up.

The league announced the unveiling of new uniforms the other day and it barely registered as a blip in the sports universe. Had the NFL tried this ESPN would have devoted an hour-long special to the news. My knowledge of players in the NHL right now consists of Martin St. Louis, Vinny Lecavalier, and wunderkids Alex-ander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby. That's it.

Does anyone else play?

If that's not bad enough I barely remembered the NBA season was underway until the MSG brawl & Iverson trade.

How bad are things in David Stern's league? A marquee player accused his wife of spousal abuse; another Atlanta player was fined for pulling a "Vick" on the fans while a ref was reprimanded for hurling ob-scenities at a fan; MJ's former bitch threw a cake at a bystander; and not just one but two star players were punished for attempt-ing to throw punches last week.

Oh yeah, a bunch of superstars are hurt (Wade, Shaq, Jeffer-son, Pierce, Chris Paul, Yao, Rashard Lewis) and last year's draft hasn't exactly produced a bumper crop of future league MVPs, has it ?

Plus the commish decided to switch back to the old ball after players complained of the new ball just as players were getting used to the new ball.

And they wonder why they have an image problem?

BTW, has college hoops started yet? I have yet to see a highlight of a superstar Player of the Year candidate or a lock Final 4 team.

Okay so I lied a little on that last one. I saw the highlights of that 3-OT Texas/Ok St thriller last week (wish I had caught the game), and I realize that the Longhorns' Kevin Durant and Ohio State's giant shot blocker Greg Oden are dominant forces in their first (and only) seasons on campus. I also saw where Boston College coach Al Skinner had the balls to toss his team's postseason aspirations right out the window...

...but where have all the good stories gone? Duke is reloading (they've got a kiddie corps going on in Durham) so everyone doesn't hate them enough, Redick is gone so Public Enemy # 1 has left the sport, the Gators returned all 5 starters from the National Championship team and are about as exciting as an episode of "Hogan Knows Best" and there is not one clear-cut unbeat-able team in all the land.

So where am I going with all this? Merely pointing out that foot-ball, both college and pro, and baseball are the only two sports that matter anymore, and if I were to pick a distant third it would probably be auto racing/NASCAR.

Now that my Pats have been knocked out and my football season has officially ended all I can say is:

35 days until the first spring training game.

That's my state of the sports nation. Thank You all.

I'm going to check out the skills competition.

If I can locate Versus on my cable dial.

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