Sai it ain't so, Lou!

Pinella signs to manage Cubs, wants E-Rod to join him

Just a week after speculation was rampant about Lou Pinella taking over for Joe Torre in the Bronx Sweet Lou decided to take the job as Cubs manager.

The Cubbies and manager Dusty Baker parted ways after a miserable season in which the injury-ravaged team finished 66-96, last place in the NL Central. Pinella was given a 3-year, $10 million dollar contract with a club option for a 4th.

Let me give the guys at the Tribune Co. a little insider information as to what is going to happen that will prevent Lou from seeing even the third year of that deal from the dugout:

Next spring there will be all kinds of talk of optimism, turnaround, changing a culture of losing, instilling a tough attitude and playing to win every single night. Then the season will start. The M*A*S*H unit that is the rotation will reopen; the offense, built on unproven kids & high-priced vets, will pull a 'Hit Show' no-show; and Lou will have a classic '3/4 stubble, 14-beer hangover, mid-season meltdown' that will make Dennis Green's look like an Afterschool Special. By the beginning of Year 2 Lou will be dropping hints that things aren't working out and planning his return to the FOX booth for the 2008 LCS.

And he will be getting paid to golf and schmooze for the entire 3rd year of the deal.

And speaking of stars, it has already been rumored that Pinella wants former pupil and current headcase E-Rodriguez to join him in the Windy City. Yikes. Can you say "horror show?"

Nice job, Lou. You fooled em again. Or is it yourself you're fooling?

Most common phrase heard on the North Side in Fall 2007

Why oh why didn't we take Girardi?!