Must See Reality TV

A double dose of compelling reality TV takes place tonight, and I will be glued to one while keeping an eye on (parts) of the other.

1.) Dancing with the Scantily Clad Semi-Celebrities

Last week's episode (from what I saw) ended in a semi-controversy when they did not eliminate anyone thanks to country singer Sara Evans' sudden departure mid-week. Evidently her husband is a sick pervert who not only pulled a Jude Law (slept w/ the nanny) but had over 100 naked pictures of himself in various states of arousal on his computer. Okay then. So, much to Jerry Springer's chagrin (does he look like he's gonna keel over at any time now or what?) there was no elimination and all the couples will be back tonight; they will dance twice, 2 different dances. Jerry may bite it in this episode- better get the defibrillator ready, stat. There are 5 duos left, and the fave is now Mario Lopez and his honey, err trainer, Karina. But I personally prefer the girl from High School Musical, Monique Coleman; she's got attitude, charisma, stage presence, and quite a set of dancer's gams. I really don't care who wins- all I know is whoever designs the costumes deserves an Emmy!

2.) World Series Game 3 8PM, FOX

"See, I got pine tar on the top of my hands, too"

All eyes will be on all palms of the pitchers thanks to Kenny The Cameraman Clubber & baseball's latest (non) scandal, Dirtgate. The players will attempt to divert the focus of the series away from splotches of foreign substances on pitchers' hands and redirect everyone's attention back to the play on the field. The series is tied at 1 game apiece, and the 2 pitchers starting tonight both have big question marks: Chris Carpenter of the Cards may have had a Cy Young regular season, but his postseason numbers so far(2-1, 3.70) have more resembled Cy Sperling. The Tigers counter with Nate Robertson, a filthy pitcher when he's on, but he hasn't pitched in 2 weeks, so it's anyone's guess what he's going to bring to the mound at new Busch Stadium tonight. Plus who knows what else you might see. Maybe Pujols bat will shatter sending superballs screaming throughout the park.

MY PREDICTION: (from yesterday) Since Carpenter had the best home ERA in the majors (1.81) this season, and the Cards will be hungry to give their crowd a home Series victory after losing both games in '04, I like St. Louis to come out firing on all cylinders and erase the memories of Dirtgate.
Cards 6-2.

As I always tell my wife, sports are THE ultimate reality television.