Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Post-Globes items and other goings on

In the aftermath of the Golden Globes and the NFL Division Playoffs there has been quite a bit of fallout surrounding both, including one story in which the sports & entertainment worlds collide... Tom Terrific making time with DiCan't-win-o's ex?
The rumour mill is working overtime to distinguish if it's true that superhot supermodel Giselle Bundchen is dating our favorite NFL quarterback, Tom Brady.

The former paramour of noted losers Josh Hartnett, surfer Kelly Slater and Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted outside the New England locker room following the Pats victory over the San Diego Crybabies last Sunday. According to a Boston Herald report Bundchen was invited to watch the game from owner Robert Kraft's luxury box and was seen waiting with Tom's right-hand-man after the game.

We all know that Tom and longtime squeeze actress Bridget Moynihan broke things off last October, and Giselle is certainly an upgrade from that average-looking B-list talent, but Tom c'mon, do you really want to be shacking up with a chick who dated "D-list" Hartnett, a surfer dude, and the irritating, ego-tripping star of Titanic? You're Tom Freakin' Brady! If Jeter can pull Jessica Biel he should at least pair up with someone like Jessica Alba or Jennifer Anniston. Or couldn't he find an unknown, untapped supermodel like Leo did with his latest plaything, Bar Raffaeli?

Keep upgrading, Tommy Boy, and one of these times you'll get it right.

...speaking of Jessica Biel, Cameron Diaz is a wacko
If it wasn't obvious before the Globes, when she showed up wearing a horror show of a dress, she made it painfully clear later on in the evening- Cameron is not only driving the crazy train she's trying to run Justin Timberlake's "sexyback" right off the tracks.

First came the report that Crazy Cam, or CC for short, was going out of her way to avoid the former Mousketeer before, during, and after the ceremony, where as a presenter JT did a hilarious send up of petite Prince. But come to find out that attitude was all an act and as soon as CC got a few liters of alcohol in her system her true psychotic side came out.

The New York Post's Page 6 reports that after the Globes CC followed JT to not one but two after parties, and at the second one at the Beverly Hilton hotel she went ballistic after spotting her ex chatting it up with Ms. Hotness herself, Biel. This evidently sent CC over the edge and she then went into a tirade against the two of them, promptly forcing Timberlake to beat a hasty retreat with his mommy according to TMZ.

Between her hideous dress, oil-slick hair, drag queen makeup, incessant booty shaking and now this it is safe to say that CC is probably on the way to the True Hollywood Story part of her career. Hey remember what happened to the last person Timberlake had a long relationship with? She's currently dating wannabe rappers, chain smoking, binge drinking, "falling asleep" at parties and flashing her C-section scar all over L.A.

Keep the dresses long, CC, and lay off the booze.

...speaking of booze, Lindsay Lohan enters rehab
In the least surprising news story since Trump slammed Rosie again Hollywood's favorite mess, errr young starlet has decided that it's finally time to let her liver breathe and checked herself into rehab.

The hard-partying 20-year-old (doesn't it seem like she's about 30?) decided that enough is enough just two weeks after supposedly undergoing an emergency appendectomy; ironically Linds was seen partying hearty the night after she checked into the hospital for the appendectomy.

This comes on the heels of her being reprimanded last summer by studio honcho James Robinson for her erratic, unprofessional behavior while filming "Georgia Rule." Which comes on the heels of her repeatedly hitting every major hotspot in Hollywood, flashing her "firecrotch" all over town and turning from a freckle-faced Disney star to a rail-thin caricature of herself.

Good luck, Linds, and it's nice to see that you will at least be able to put AA on your resume.

...speaking of the Crybabies, Schottenloser to remain as coach
Despite the fact that Marty Schottenheimer now owns the distinction of being the most successful regular season coach to never reach the Super Bowl and the fact that his teams have lost 6 straight postseason games and the fact that he and GM A.J. Smith can't stand each other, the Crybabies decided to play Martyball for one more year.

Schottenheimer agreed to remain with San Diego through the expiration of his current contract at the end of the 2007 season. Nothing is final after that as the sides, in true Ron Burgundy fashion, agreed to disagree about his future with the team beyond next season.

Suffice it to say that if the Crybabies suffer another meltdown like they did against the Pats and then proceed to whine about it like a bunch of little bitches afterwards Marty will not return for another go 'round in '08. But if somehow the underachieving Can't Win the Big Ones get over the hump and finally win a meaningful game then maybe Marty and Co. will continue to make whiny, boring, annoying music together for years to come.

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