Monday, January 22, 2007

AFC Championship: Colts 38, Pats 34

The day after.

The aftermath of the Pats devastating, emotional, gut-wrenching, soul-crushing, humiliating, mind-boggling, disheartening, unfathomable and incredible loss to the Colts has felt like a slow & painful death for Pats fans.

It feels like being poisoned. At the end of game last night, when Tom Terrific threw the interception to Indy's Marlin Don't Call Me Tito Jackson which sealed the Colts biggest win since the Mayflower vans left Baltimore, I thought I had been hit with a poison dart- my immediate reaction was numbness, shock and confusion mixed with a healthy dose of dull pain.

The next day it's as if the lethal toxin has spread throughout my body, causing me to feel nauseous, irate, weak and dizzy. My brain is frazzled and my extremities are useless. There is a sharp pain in my head and a sick feeling in my gut. "Has this really happened? Did the Colts really perform an exorcism on the demons from New England that have haunted them for all these years, and was it the presence of shaman Adam Vinateri that finally turned the tide away from the East Coast conquerors and towards the team from middle America?"

I know I have to review the game before I can spew bile-filled comments about it so I will attempt to put a coherent summary together before my brain is completely overrun with hysteria.

The game started out the way any red white & blue Pats fan would want it to. On New England's second drive they went 75 yards in 8 plays highlighted by a 35-yard run by Corey Dillon on 4th & 1 from the Colts 48 (Brilliant Call # 1) and capped with a wacky, lucky touchdown that made it feel like the football gods were shining on our team once again. Brady handed off to Lawrence no show Maroney (8 rushes, 13 yards) who fumbled the exchange just before the goal line. Three or four Colts players surrounded the ball but somehow it squirted out of that circle of humanity and was pounced on by guard Logan Mankins in the end zone for a miraculous touchdown; 7-0 New England and it was just get started.

Manning & Co. countered with a long 14-play 53-yard drive that fell short of the end zone thanks to a holding call on the Colts at the Pats 26. Old friend Adam Vinateri kept his streak alive of never having missed a kick in this arena by nailing a 42-yarder to slice the lead to 7-3, and New England's infamous "bend-but-don't-break" defense held true.

The second quarter would bring so much joy to Pats fans that we could hardly contain our giddiness. As the quarter opened New England was already mounting a 72-yard drive that began at the end of the first quarter and featured a 27-yard pass from Brady to Troy Mr. Clutch Brown on 4th & 6 from the Colts 34 (Brilliant Call #2) that set up Dillon's 7-yard touchdown scamper and the lead was 14-3 before Indy even knew what hit 'em.

If that wasn't bad enough for the 56,000+ yokels that packed the stadium what happened next just about brought tears to their eyes. After a three yard run by Dominic Rhodes put the Colts at their own 31 yard line manning threw an ill-advised pass to the right sideline intended for Marvin Harrison. Unfortunately for Indy Assante I shoulda been in the Pro Bowl Samuel jumped the route and picked Manning off, returned it the 31 yards for the score and sent the legions of Patriot fans into a "this is too good to be true" tizzy. It was now 21-3 New England just 5:00 minutes before halftime and you got the feeling that the folks back home were already planning the team's itinerary for Miami.

So even when Indy mounted its best drive of the game, marching 80 yards on 15 plays in just under three minutes and tacking on a 26-yard Vinateri field goal to cut their deficit to 21-6 at the half, no one on New England's side really batted an eye, least of all thought that drive would spell the beginning of the end of the good times for the Pats.

Soon after the second half started everyone would realize that the way the game began was not the way it was going to end. The Colts received the opening kick and promptly embarked on a monstrous 14 play, 76-yard endeavor that chewed up the first 7:00 minutes of the 3rd quarter and culminated with a 1-yard TD run by Manning. The drive featured a long play of 12 yards and it was that Chinese water torture style of offense that started to eat a hole in the Patriots stoic defense. That score cut the deficit to a workable 21-13 and the Patriot fans started adjusting seating positions in an effort to squelch the queasy feeling growing in our bellies.

That feeling would grow to a full-fledged salmonella scare after a quick 3 & out by Brady & the offense. Then CBS put up a graphic showing that the Colts have run 29 of the last 30 plays spanning the halves and Solomon Wilcots (where did they dig this guy up from?) reports that the Patriot sideline is starting to resemble a scene from "Grey's Anatomy"- contusions, sprains, cramps, dehydration & a gale force of sucking wind.

As all of this is going on Manning goes right back to work on that beleaguered defense, orchestrating another 76-yard drive, this time aided by 2 costly New England penalties an, offsides on Richard Seymour on 3rd & 5 from the 27 that gave Indy a first down and a pass interference on Ellis Hobbs, who played the game of his life, for face guarding Harrison in the corner of the end zone that set up 1st & goal from the one.

This was the part that really stung the most for New England players, coaches, and fans: Dungy & the Colts used a play straight from the Hooded Genius' playbook to tie the game and swing the momentum fully over to Indy's side. Manning took the hand off and everyone thought the play was going to be a run up the middle. But Manning rolled out and threw to a wide open man on the left flat who cruised into the end zone for the touchdown that sent the whole;e state of Indiana into a frenzy and the Patriot Nation into a state of shock.

The player who waltzed in with the score that broke the Patriots' back? Defensive tackle and former Patriot Dan Klecko. Ouch.

Manning completed the 18-point comeback with a 2-point conversion to Harrison and the game was tied at 21, yet it felt like the Pats had already lost something. I think it was their impenetrable aura of playoff invincibility, but I'm not sure.

From here things just got worse, and that sickening feeling growing inside my stomach was turning into a full blown Norovirus. The Pats would tease us into thinking they were going to pull this one out somehow, just like they did in San Diego last week despite the odds being stacked against them, but it wouldn't last. The brief hope was provided courtesy of an 80-yard return on the ensuing kick by Hobbs which quickly gave New England the ball at the Indy 21. Five plays later, including a wide open drop in the end zone by Reche slippery fingers Caldwell, Brady hit the other Gator Jabbar Gaffney on the back end line for a great grab as he was shoved out of bounds. After further review the call stood and New England briefly regained their composure & swagger, holding a tentative 28-21 lead entering the final quarter.

It was that final quarter that will go down as this team's Waterloo, the 15 minutes that deconstructed the Patriot myth and exposed the Team of the Decade to be the second best team on the field this night. Of course after the go-ahead score Manning immediately marched his troops down the field, slicing and dicing the exhausted Pats D for another 67 yards in a mere 3 minutes and tying the game on what would prove to be the most unbelievable of all the crazy touchdowns scored on the day.

Rhodes took the hand off from the 2 and barrelled forward towards the goal line but had the ball knocked out of his grip by a ballistic Patriot helmet. The ball dropped down and was recovered by center Jeff Saturday for another touchdown by a lineman, the third of the game, and it was like an "anything you can do we can do better" type of score. This mad dash to the finish line was knotted at 28 and it definitely looked like whoever had the ball last would have the chance to win this game.

Things looked good for New England when a 15-yard return coupled with a face mask penalty on Indy gave the Pats the ball at the Colts 43 but a costly penalty, an illegal shift on Gaffney, and another wide-open drop by Caldwell forced them to settle for a 28-yard field goal by Stephen Adam who? Gostowski. The damage was done though as the Pats could have had an easy touchdown; Caldwell lined up with no one opposite him, but by the time Brady realized it Caldwell was so anxious to get the score and atone for his earlier drop that the ball clanged off his hands and fell harmlessly to the turf.

Did the Pats chances of winning this game fall with it?

It would appear that way because on the next series Manning had his playoff coming out play, a play that said "we're not gonna take it" anymore and began lifting the ginourmous monkey off his back. On first down from his own 23 Manning hit Dallas Clark at midfield who zigged & zagged his way to the Pats 25 for a back-breaking 52-yard reception that stunned the Pats defense and elated the Colts sideline. Although Indy had to settle for a 36-yard Vinateri field goal that knotted the game at 31 the damage to the Pats psyche was done:

the Patriot defense absolutely could not stop the Colts offense in the second half.

Another terrific return by Hobbs, who had 220 yards worth of returns on the evening, gave New England great field position again, but again they had to settle for 3 points instead of 7 despite a 25-yard completion to Daniel Graham that put the ball on the Colts 29.

So it was 34-31 New England and after the teams traded punts the Colts took over with 2:17 to go from their own 20.

What followed will forever be known as Indy's version of The Drive in the annals of Indianapolis sports folklore, as small as those annals are.

Once again RainManning moved the team down the field, splicing a devastating 32-yard pass to Bryan Fletcher, who was being "covered" by 2nd year linebacker Eric Alexander, around two other completions, two Joseph Addai runs and a highly questionable roughing the passer call on Tully Banta-Cain to get the Colts to 3rd & 2 from the 3. When Addai took the hand off, put his head down and ran through a gaping hole for the score to make it 37-34 with exactly one minute left the Colts had their first lead of this see-saw battle and had unquestionably lifted that gigantic gorilla off their backs.

The only question was would Tom Brady be able to place that hairy beast right back on Peyton's shoulders?

Fifty four seconds and 79 yards was all that stood in the way of another miraculous win or the monkey being lifted off Manning's shoulders for good. After a 19-yard completion from Brady to Ben Watson and a 15-yarder to Heath Evans got the ball to the Indy 40 everyone in the country was sitting on the edge of their seats just waiting to see how Tom Terrific was going to do it again. Everybody except Peyton, that is. The CBS cameras showed Manning on the sideline with his head in his hands, unable to watch the life get sucked out of his team by Mr. America yet again.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the inevitable; Brady's next pass was picked off by the (now) immortal marlin Jackson and the Colts were on their way to the Super Bowl at the expense of the shell shocked New England Patriots.

The greatest comeback in Championship game history was complete as well as New England owning the dubious distinction of being the highest-scoring losing team in team in Championship game history as well. Wow. Talk about a double-dip of a devastating defeat.

The monkey has been put to the side for Manning, Dungy and the rest of the underachieving Colts team. It's on to the Super Bowl to face another primate-saddles squad, the Chicago Bears.
The Colts finally succeeded in displacing their arch rival on the field in a meaningful game, and the off-season of wondering what could have been and whimpering begins today for New England and its fans.

It's too early to tell if this is a "Chicago Bulls overcoming the Detroit Pistons" moment or a "Sox beating the Yanks in the ALCS" moment for the Colts yet. Meaning the 1990 Pistons went on to win two titles and become a dominant team for years after finally getting over the hump that was the Michael Jordan-led Bulls. But the 2004 Red Sox team that dispatched the Stanks in the biggest series comeback in sports history fell to a miserable 3rd place just two years later and have to spend lavishly just to keep pace with the Evil Empire. Is this win just a one-year blip for the Colts & pats, or has the tide really turned in favor of the perennial postseason losers?

It's hard to say but many of Patriot Nation's worst fears were realized last night on the FieldTurf at the RCA Dome:

-Peyton Manning can indeed win the big one. He has just beaten the two toughest defensive teams in the AFC in successive weeks, one in a tough-as-nails grinder on the road (12-6 @ B-More) and another a come-from-behind shootout against his personal Goliath at home to reach that elusive Super Bowl.

-The Colts can no longer be considered Regular Season Wonders.

One of my favorite nicknames I've hung on a team or a player is now wiped off my list. After yesterday's victory, coupled with playoff wins over the Chiefs and Ravens, even if the Colts go on to lose the Bowl this run has eliminated them as Regular Season Wonders forevermore (unless they go 14-2 next season & lose in the first round. Fingers crossed.)

-Tom Brady is human
Despite supermodel & actress girlfriends, 3 Super Bowls & 2 SB MVPs, a Hall of Fame career and the love and adoration of millions of fans worldwide we found out at the end of the game last night that there is a mere mortal man behind the Wizard's curtain. When Tommy Boy took the ball with less than a minute left and 80 yards to go for the win everybody and their brother just knew he would guide the team down the field and lead his troops to yet another postseason comeback victory. You know the rest.

He didn't and a little chip was taken out of the Brady Mystique that let us all realize he is human after all.

That's all I can muster right now. I'm heading back to my dark bedroom to look up at the ceiling for a few hours and think of all the witty comebacks I'm going to have to throw back at gloating Patriot haters for the next year.

As Dan Shaughnessey so perfectly put it in today's Globe, "Red Sox pitchers & catchers report on February 18th."

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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Just saw a replay of that roughing the passer call...

...has there ever been a more horseshit call in the history of the league?!?! This explains everything- the league and TV networks obviously wanted the Colts to win and made sure they did.
Happy now, America?

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Colts come back from largest deficit in Championship game history

"mumble mumble muble... C*&KS*&KINGMOTHERFU*KERMANNINGGOTOHELL...whywhywhywhywhywhywhy?!!?

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Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

Chris Berman: "Back on NFL Primetime, it's Peyton Manning, going to the Super Bowl, live..."

Me: "Whhhyyyyyyyyy...aahhgrgghhhhrrrwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....???!!@@@&&*%$#!"

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Super Bowl XLI: Chicago vs. Indianapolis

a.k.a. another Super Bowl I won't need to watch

I'm in too much pain to do a regular post after the Colts just got through exorcising years of demons by knocking off the mighty Patriots, their personal nemesis, and advance to the Super Bowl.

Two weeks of hearing "Peyton Manning is going to the Super Bowl" and Rex Grossman will be there with him?!

I think I'll just go lock myself in a dark room and have a good scream.

I'll get back to you later when I'm more coherent.

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AFC Championship Game Preview

New England Patriots (12-4) @ Indianapolis Colts (12-4)

6:30 EST CBS
Line: IND -3

I've got so much emotionally invested in this game, and so much has been said & written about the Pats v. Colts in the past that I'm going to do a simple summary of what I think will happen in the style of my new favorite TV character, Andy from The Office:


Pats- Team of the decade.

Colts- Regular Season Wonders.

Brady & Belichick- Dynastic Duo always win the big one.

Manning & Dungy- Lovable losers who can't win the big one.

Keys- Pats- run the ball. Colts- resurgent defense
Brady: god in cleats; Manning: stat-hungry publicity whore.

Colts= Pats' bitches

Playoffs-Pats own 'em

Result- Pats head to Miami in search of title #4.

South Beach here we come!
Go Pats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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NFC Championship Game Preview

New Orleans Saints (10-6) @ Chicago Bears (13-3)
3:00 EST FOX
Line: CHI -3

The NFC Championship game features two teams in desperate need of a marquee win to reestablish themselves as true conference powers.

The Saints have been so bad for so long that they earned a derisive nickname and played host to paper bag-wearing fans for the better part of two decades. This season that all changed as the team's return to hurricane-ravaged Louisiana injected new life to the devastated region and the subsequent ride to the NFC South crown, a home playoff win and now their first trip to the championship game has seen the them go from "The Aint's" to the new "America's Team" (sorry, Dallas, it's not 1983 any longer- your rights to the moniker have expired.) A trip to the Super Bowl would not only bring joy and positivity to the bayou but bring legitimacy to the franchise that once was the laughingstock of the league.

The Bears have had good seasons in recent history, winning the NFC Central in its last year of existence, 2001, as well as few winning campaigns in the early '90s. But other than that the franchise has been trying-and failing-to live up to the myth & memory that is the 1985 Bears for over 20 years. That team had great coaches, wild characters, Hall-of-Fame players and most memorably, a Super Bowl shuffle. The organization has been trying to shed that 300-lb gorilla for decades but failed miserably until this year. Even now though, with a great defense,a solid coach in Lovie Smith and an NFC best 13-3 record the doubting Thomases are out in full force, probably because their quarterback is as shaky as a 3-year-old on roller blades and their vaunted defense sputtered down the stretch. One win today and everything will change, and you might even hear strains of Marley's "Redemption Song" blaring through Spaceship Soldier Field's loudspeakers.

So which team will find redemption today? Only one way to find out- my patented, world famous breakdown method.

Quarterbacks:
NO-Drew Brees: 4,418 yards, 26 TDs, 11 INTs, 18 sacks, 64.3% completions
CHI-Rex Grossman: 3,193 yards, 23 TDs, 20 INTs, 21 sacks, 54.6% completions

Hmmm, this is a tough one...let's see, either the guy who resurrected an offense, team, and region while finishing second in the league MVP balloting or the dude who has been ridiculed, lambasted and vilified by his home fans and every analyst, talk show host & columnist in the country for his poor decisions which have led to a slew of bad turnovers. Tough choice.

The confidence and character Brees brings to the team is the reason the Saints are where they are today. His intensity in the huddle is something that had been sorely lacking in the Aaron Brooks era. Brees' performance was directly responsible for the Saints having the top passing offense in the league during the regular season and he has multiple targets to choose from.

Grossman had a roller coaster season. He started out hot, throwing 10 touchdowns and only 3 interceptions as the Bears raced out to a 5-0 start, but suddenly he started using the other team as his favorite targets; he went through a miserable stretch where he threw 14 picks in the next 7 games, which included a miraculous comeback win over Arizona and embarrassing losses to Miami and New England. By the end of the year he had regained his form until a stinker to end the season against the Packers. In limited action Grossman went 2-12 for 33 yards and 3 INTs as the Bears got clobbered by Green bay. Afterwards Rexie admitted that he didn't prepare properly for the contest and his mind was elsewhere during the game.

It was around this time that the calls for Grossman's ouster became full-fledged screams.

All I know is I'll take Brees on a bad day over Grossman on his best day. Rex better have another game like last week against the Seahawks where he controlled tempo, minimized mistakes and put his team in a position to win the game. That's all he needs to do today. He should be able to take advantage of New Orleans' weak link, its secondary, and go deep to big play receiver Bernard Berrian against aging cornerback Fred Thomas like Philly did last week. Unfortunately for the former Gator he sometimes seems incapable of doing just those simple things.
ADVANTAGE: Saints (big time)

Running Backs:
NO-
McAllister: 1,057 yards, 10 TDs
Bush: 565 yards, 6 TDs
CHI-
Jones: 1,210 yards, 6 TDs
Benson: 647 yards, 6 TDs

These two rushing attacks couldn't be more different. Chicago uses the combination of Thomas Jones & Cedric Benson to move the chains in a methodical and powerful way. There's not a lot of razzle-dazzle or sneakiness with these two-what you see is what you get. Although Jones has been the featured back for most of the season, Benson's slightly craftier running and bigger gains have seen him get more playing time of late. But Jones got the call more in last weeks win over Seattle (21 carries to 12) and chipped in with 66 yards and 2 scores.

New Orleans boasts one of the new wave of NFL backfields- the change-of-pace backs. When Reggie Bush was drafted with the second overall pick last year many assumed he would just step right in and become the everyday stater. Not so fast my friend. The Saints still had power back Deuce McAllister and he wasn't about to go quietly into the Louisiana night, especially with Bush struggling to pick up the nuances of the pro game early on- like the fact that every defender wanted to take him down and welcome him to the league the hard way.

Now the two provide a nice contrast in style- Deuce will punish defenders with his battering ram running while Reggie can turn a 5 yard loss into a big gain with his leg-breaking cuts. The pair has to be riding a wave of confidence, also, after torching Philly for 208 yards on the ground last week, 143 from McAllister.

A pretty even heat here, but I would give a slight edge to the Saints for the way they are running right now and the ability to mix things up in the backfield.
ADVANTAGE: Saints (barely)

Receivers:
NO-
Colston: 70 recs, 1,038 yards, 8 TDs
Bush: 88 recs, 742 yards, 2 TDs
CHI-
Muhammed: 60 recs, 863 yards, 5 TDs
Berrian: 51 recs, 775 yards, 6 TDs

To say the Saints like to spread the ball around is like saying Will Ferrell likes to act like a retarded goofball. New Orleans had 10 guys with 14 or more receptions, 7 with more than 300 yards receiving. Compare that to Chicago, which had 7 receivers with more than 14 catches, 4 with over 300 yards, and it's safe to say that the saints have the advantage as far as passing the ball around over the limited Bears.

Rookie of the Year runner-up Marques Colston was one of the surprise stories of the season. The kid out of Hofstra was the 3rd to last player drafted last year and stunned the league with his incredible season that would have been even better had he not missed 3 games with an ankle injury. The big (6'4", 230 lbs) Colston provides a nice target for Brees to see down field, and his excellent hands, ability to catch the ball on the fly and large frame made him a formidable weapon for other teams to stop. Combine his talents with that of Mr. Bush, who had a better year receiving the ball than running it (although many of his 88 catches were of the 3-yard dump, catch-and-run variety) and the emergence of 3rd year man Devery Henderson (32 recs, 745 yards, 5 TDs) as a deep threat and what you've got is a potent, capable fleet of receivers.

Chicago relies heavily on two receivers to move the chains: possession man Mushin Muhammed, who at the age of 33 showed signs of wear & tear but still managed a team-high 60 catches, and deep threat Bernard Berrian, who started the year with long TD catches of 49, 41, 46 & 62 yards in the first 5 games. He is a big play receiver and will be the key to Chicago being able to stretch the field and set up scoring opportunities. After those two the pack thins out; Grossman likes to use TE Desmond Clark (45 recs, 626 yards, 6 TDs), and Rashied Davies and Thomas Jones will get some balls thrown to them as well.

Once again the Saints seem to be the more dangerous team here due to the sheer number and versatility of their receivers.
ADVANTAGE: Saints (by far)

Defense:
YPG-
NO: 307 (11th in NFL)
CHI: 294 (5th)
PPG-
NO: 20 (13th)
CHI: 16 (3rd)
Pass YPG-
NO: 178 (3rd)
CHI: 195 (11th)
Rush YPG-
NO: 129 (23rd)
CHI: 99 (4th)

Finally we come to a category where the Bears have a decided advantage. Chicago's defense was one of the stingiest in the league for most of the season until massive T Tommie Harris went out with an injury and Tank Johnson decided to like up to his nickname by stockpiling more weapons than some third world nations. The last 5 games, including playoffs, Chicago allowed a mediocre 24 PPG, including 31 to the Bucs and 26 to the Packers. The D will have to play better than that today if it hopes to shut down the Saints powerful offense.

As always the key to Chicago's D is All-Everything linebacker Brian Urlacher. The throwback defender needs to be a force in this game, not only in stopping the runs but in getting pressure on Brees so he can't make the easy throws down field. As is so often the case as the Urlacher goes, so goes the Bears defense, and if he doesn't have a monster game the Bears have little chance of winning. As for the secondary Charles Tillman will have the unenviable task of trying to stop Colston while Ricky Manning, Jr & Nathan Vasher are also going to have to stay close to the Saints multitude of receivers.

Although the Saints defense has been criticised as being the weak link of the team they do employ a bend-but-don't-break philosophy. The main component of the unti is the line, led by the immovable run stopper Hollis Thomas and ends Will Smith and Charles Grant, who combined for 16 1/2 sacks this year. The linebackers are solid if unspectacular, with Scott Fujita, Tommy Polley & Scott Shanle doing most of the damage, and the secondary-Thomas, Mike McKenzie, Josh Bullocks, Jay Bellamy, Omar Stoutmire- is unspectacular and susceptible to the big play (see Fred Thomas comment above.)

Like I said this is the one category where the Bears should have the advantage in their favor and they need to exploit it if they hope to pull out this win. In other words they need to play like the first 10 weeks of the season rather than the last 5.
ADVANTAGE: Bears (clearly)

Coaching & Intangibles:
New Orleans' Sean Payton was the Coach of the Year and his masterful play calling, ability to mix things up according to the situation & team and rapport with his players is one of the big reasons why the Saints had such a turnaround season. He is one of the best young minds in the game, doesn't get out coached often, and is unafraid to do something different if it means giving his team an advantage.

Lovie Smith is another solid young coach who has turned the team around by going back to basic Bears football- running the ball and playing smash mouth defense. He is soft spoken and fatherly and his insistence on sticking with Grossman ("Rex is our quarterback"- repeat ad nauseum) both endeared him to his players and infuriated an impatient fan base. It will be interesting to see how he reacts if his team gets down early and how he will handle the heat if Grossman starts tossing the ball to the other team again.

The home field advantage could be the deciding factor in this one. The weather will not be pleasant- cold, windy possible snow- which would most definitely favor the Monsters of the Midway, who live for conditions like that. New Orleans being a dome team has a decided disadvantage when it comes to weather and notoriously dome teams do not fare well in outdoor Championship games. Old Mother Nature might be the one who has the most say about who wins this contest, which doesn't bode well for New Orleans & their pass-happy attack.

As for an X-Factor the Bears rookie return man Devin Hester set the league on fire after he returned his 6th kick for a touchdown back in early December. Since then he has fumbled more balls than he's caught and looks like he is out-thinking himself and trying to return the ball before he catches it. If he can concentrate and rip off some big returns, or even a touchdown, he could be a big advantage for the offensively-challenged Bears.

For New Orleans I am going with Devery Henderson. He is somewhat the forgotten man because of the presence of Bush, Colston, and Joe Horn when he is healthy, but Henderson always seems to get open downfield for a backbreaking gain- he only had 1 catch last week but it was a big 35-yarder that set up the Saints first touchdown. How big is this guy's catches? He averages 23 yards per catch.
ADVANTAGE: Bears (slight)

After all of this scientific analysis I can only come to one conclusion- it should be a close, tough game that could be dictated by weather and will benefit the team that can control the ball and play mistake free. New Orleans has the better offensive team, better coach, and the backing of an entire nation that would like nothing better than to see this downtrodden franchise reach the pinnacle of the sport in its first year back in its Big Easy home.

Chicago will have the weather, home field, and determination to stifle all the doubters and bring a playoff winning team back to the Windy City on their side. Grossman would love to quiet all the critics and enjoy the recent run of Gator-related success and the whole team would enjoy being the squad that finally quiets the ghosts of yesteryear and gives Chicago its first championship team in 21 years.

MY PICK: The Saints, are coming, the Saints, are coming...to Miami.

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Friday, January 19, 2007

MOVIE REVIEW: The Illusionist

The Illusionist
Rated: PG- 13
Starring: Edward Norton, Jessica Biel, Paul Giamatti, Rufus Sewell
Directed By: Neil Burger
Run time: 1 hr, 50 min

This movie may have had a relatively small box office haul ($39 million) when it was released last September. It may have been hurt by the fact that there were two period magician pieces released around the same time (Sept/Oct), and Christopher Nolan's The Prestige was, well, the more prestigious of the pair.

I haven't seen Nolan's film yet, which boasts of a bigger cast (Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Scarlett Johannson, Michael Caine) and grander plot (two dueling magicians drive each other to the brink of madness), but this quieter little offering from newbie director Burger was a satisfying and engrossing tale that entertains from start to finish.

Norton (Fight Club, Down in the Valley, and who can forget his debut in Primal Fear?) plays against type as a stoic, mystical man named Eisenheim who lives in 1900 Vienna. He was the son of a cabinetmaker who met a mysterious man on a deserted road when he was roughly 12. The man showed him incredible tricks, making things such as people and trees disappear. Eisenheim was enthralled with the old man's talents and began practicing magic himself. It was around this time that he fell for a beautiful young Duchess named Sophie. Theirs was the proverbial forbidden love between royalty and the peasant. When their aborted attempt to run away together ended with threats made to Eisenheim & his family, he decided to leave Vienna and see what else life had to offer him.

Flash forward 15 years; Eisenheim has traveled to parts of Europe and Asia honing his craft and has come full circle back to Vienna. He is now an illusionist of some renown and fills a playhouse to "3/4 capacity" on a nightly basis. Eisenheim is like an early David Blaine (before he went nuts)or Criss Angel, a man whose tricks appeared to transcend both time and space. His first big illusion is he makes an orange tree grow from an empty bucket while two butterflies deliver an audience member's handkerchief to many oohs & ahhs. One of those who admires his talents is Inspector Uhl (an excellent Giamatti), a good-hearted lawman who nonetheless is rendered a gravy-training lackey of the slimy king-to-be Crown Prince Leopold (Sewell, Dark City) in hopes of making Chief Inspector or higher some day.

As Eiseneim's show gains popularity, he is paid handsomely and also draws the interest of the Crown Prince, who decides to attend the show in person to see what all the fuss is about. When Eisenheim asks for a volunteer from the audience for his illusion of cheating death, Leopold volunteers his beautiful, young bride-to-be. After the woman enters the stage, Eisenheim is shocked and pleased to find that the woman is none other than his early love, Sophie (Biel, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.)
For the trick Sophie dons a red robe and faces a large stand up mirror. As she bows her head towards the frame, a figure with a sword can be seen behind her in the reflection. The figure is also wearing a red robe and comes towards Sophie with sword drawn. The figure slashes the sword seemingly right through Sophie and her reflection falls to the floor as if dead. Eisenheim takes his hand and conjures her spirit to rise up out of the body and disappear into thin air.

The illusion takes the audience's breath away and instantly Eisenheim is transformed from a mere magician to a mystical genius; however, the attention does not sit well with the Crown Prince. After the performance, Leopold invites Eisenheim to put on a show at his castle where the Prince and a handful of smart men will attempt to deconstruct every trick the illusionist performs. In the meantime, Eisenheim meets with Sophie and the two immediately rekindle old flames, though Sophie informs him that she will be marrying Leopold soon and the Prince has ideas of overthrowing his father the King to gain control of the government. Eisenheim immediately plans to take Sophie away from him and begins to devise a plan that will let them live free with no fear of Leopold hunting them down.

At the castle, Eisenheim is badgered by Leopold about how his tricks are done. The first one he performs, illustrating a portrait of the King on a blank canvas with no brushes or hands, is deemed a cheap parlor gag by an irritated Leopold. What comes next infuriates the Prince even more. Eisenheim asks for Leopold's sword and stands it on its tip in the middle of the floor; he then recites the tale of Excalibur and dares someone to pull the sword from its spot. After two volunteers can't budge it, Leopold goes over to it and gingerly attempts to pull it free. After a hesitation, Eisenheim allows Leopold to retrieve his sword and says, "see, only the rightful owner can claim it," but the damage is done. Leopold was humiliated and when Uhl gives him word that Sophie and Eisenheim had secretly met, the Prince gives the order to bring the illusionist down at all costs.

To go into any more detail would reveal a key piece of the story. Since I'm not one to publish "spoilers," I'll just wind it up by saying Eisenheim uses his mastery of the spirit world to become somewhat of a medium for the deceased and drives the Prince to the brink of madness. His otherworldly powers serve as the perfect vessel to pull off his ultimate disappearing act... The last 1/4 of the film is an exhilarating thrill ride filled with incredible tricks, twists, and a terrific ending that leaves you both scratching your head and smiling at the same time.

What makes this film so enjoyable is the lush cinematography, detailed set pieces & costumes and use of lighting, which all work to transport the viewer back to the projected time and place. The acting is also quality all around. Norton turns in one of his best performances since Primal Fear, playing the illusionist as both a complex man who may or may not have powers beyond the realm of this world and as a man driven by the most simple of all desires: love. Oscar- nominee Giamatti gives the film character with his portrayal of the conflicted Inspector. Sewell chews the scenery as a power-hungry madman, and Biel does what she does best: looks pretty and makes it believable that a man would go to great lengths to obtain her love.
All in all this was a very engaging tale, well told, briskly-paced with solid performances, beautiful scenery and an original plot. Throw in a little spiritual magic and a terrific ending and you end up with a memorable film that lingers long after the wisps of the story have faded away.

And that's no illusion.

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The Nation mourns the departure of Trot

There's an old children's rhyme I remember my mother using back in the day in Boston whenever she had a baby on her lap and it went like this:


Trot trot to Boston
Trot trot to Lynn
Trot trot to Boston
We all fall -IN!

Upon exclaiming "IN," she would let the bouncing baby fall through her lap while the child screeched in fear/delight.

I'm going to paraphrase that ditty in honor of the departure of one of the Nation's favorite sons, Christopher Trotman Nixon:

Trot trots from Boston
His new trot begins
Trot's off to Cleveland
Our hearts fall in

Yes, the Red Sox Nation has lost one of its most beloved members today as the original "dirt dog" Trot Nixon signed a contract to play for the Cleveland Indians. The deal is for one year and worth $3 million, a significant drop off from the $7.5 mil he made in his last year with the Sox. Nixon played his entire career with Boston since he first came up in 1996. By 1999 he was the starting right fielder who became an instant fan favorite; thanks to his hard-charging style, desire to compete, and willingness to get his uniform dirty.

Trotter turned out to be a solid outfielder, making numerous diving & lunging catches in Fenway's tricky right field corner, and steadily grew into a threat at the plate. He went from modest numbers in his first full season (15 HRs, 52 RBIs, .270 avg.) to a three year stretch, 2001-03 in which he averaged 26 homers, 90 RBIs and a .279 batting average. That production, combined with his infamous pine tar-laden batting helmet and willingness to play through injuries, only further endeared himself to a fan base that tends to deify blue collar-type sports stars (see Bird, Larry.)

He made the transformation from scrappy fan favorite to full-fledged cult hero during the Sox' magical World Series-winning campaign of 2004. After injuries limited him to just 48 games in the regular season, he would go on to have one of the most memorable postseasons in the history of the franchise. He batted .255 in 13 postseason games with 1 home run (off New York's Kevin Brown in Game 3 of the ALCS), 4 doubles and 8 RBIs; he also had a big RBI hit in each of Boston's three series and nearly one in every game he played.

Trot then hit .357 (5-14, 3 doubles, 3 RBIs) in the World Series. His 3-double, 2-RBI performance in Game 4 helped clinch the title and placed Trot in the pantheon of Boston sports idols.

Alas the injuries that showed up in 2004 would signify a downturn in Nixon's health, games played and consequently his production. From 2004-06 he averaged just 95 games played with 9 home runs and 47 RBIs thanks to hamstring, quad, back and biceps problems. Last year he played in only 114 games and managed a mere 8 home runs and 52 RBIs. It doesn't take a GM to figure out that those numbers plus the injuries, hefty salary, and impending free agency probably spelled the end of Trot's playing days at Fenway as a member of the Sox; when Boston agreed to sign right fielder J.D. Drew (a deal that has yet to be officially finalized, BTW) every member of the Nation knew that it did.

Now we will be able to catch one of our favorite sons on the MLB package and the times the Indians play the Sox. I know I will be heading to see the Indians play the Blue Jays or Rays this spring training and will be among the legions of Nation members down here that will be there thanking him for all he did for our beloved Sawx. He was always one of those players willing to talk to the fans and sign autographs, as you can see from this baseball he signed for my son (which of course rests in my Sports Den), as well as give back to the community.

Best of luck Trot. We will miss your tattered, dirt-stained #7 patrolling right field and your duel-flapped, pine tar-smeared helmet digging in from the left side of the plate. Here's hoping you resurrect your career and bring some of your trademark characteristics to a downtrodden franchise.

Why do I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that he is going to end up being a member of another Boston society--the Red Sox Killers Club?

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Thursday, January 18, 2007

Offseason woes plague Mike Vick. Again.

After a couple of days of entertainment news I am ready to dive back into football coverage. That way I don't have to mention that the newest installment of American Karaoke raked in over 38 million viewers the past two nights. Looks like everyone's real sick of that overblown hype machine, huh?

Ironically this story once again crosses from the sports world into the entertainment category.

'Cause when Mike Vick gets busted for doing something stupid, it's always entertaining.

Two years ago April Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick was served with papers accusing him of giving his lover an STD. In that infamous affidavit the woman claimed that Vick would go by the pseudonym "Ron Mexico" whenever he went for his routine "what STD do I have this time?" tests.

Two years later old Ron is up to some new tricks, this time getting busted with what appeared to be a bong disguised as an ordinary bottle of spring water.

According to a Miami police report Mexico was going through the scanning process at Miami International Airport when he was asked to check the water bottle he was carrying. When he appeared reluctant to hand his prized bottle of Dasani over to the screener they immediately confiscated the container. Police found that the center of the bottle contained a hidden compartment that smelled like the maryjane and had a discolored liquidy substance in it- a.k.a. BONGWATER!

This latest faux pas even comes with a twist. Senor Mexico was waiting to board an Air Tran flight to Georgia- an airline for which Vick is a spokesman! Gives a whole new meaning to the "mile high club."

Combine those two incidents with Vick's now infamous one-fingered salute (not the one pictured here) to the home fans at the Georgia Dome following a loss to the Saints in late November and you've got a guy who just signed a $136 million dollar contract 3 years ago and now is more of a distraction/nuisance than the so-called quarterback of the future for the NFL.

This glorified running back is looking less like the future of the NFL or even the future quarterback of the Falcons and more & more like the future of a new Arena Football League franchise to open south of the border in 2008- The Tijuana Waterbongs.

AFC Championship news

It's looking like smashmouth safety Rodney Harrison will not be able to wreak havoc on Peyton Manning & Co. this Sunday. Harrison suffered a knee injury in the season finale against Tennessee and didn't play in either of the two Patriot playoff wins. He has been upgraded to doubtful but is not expected to play.

Harrison's leadership, knowledge of the game and bone-jarring hits will certainly be missed if he is not able to go on Sunday. But something tells me the prospect of lining up against Peyton the Postseason Pick King will enable Rodney the strength to give it a go.

Another note from Patriot practice is there appears to be a flu bug going around that has affected a few players including Game Savin' Troy Brown. Not too worried about that, though. If these guys can survive the Merriroid sack dance & the whining MVP they can survive a little influenza.

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Post-Globes items and other goings on

In the aftermath of the Golden Globes and the NFL Division Playoffs there has been quite a bit of fallout surrounding both, including one story in which the sports & entertainment worlds collide...

...is Tom Terrific making time with DiCan't-win-o's ex?
The rumour mill is working overtime to distinguish if it's true that superhot supermodel Giselle Bundchen is dating our favorite NFL quarterback, Tom Brady.

The former paramour of noted losers Josh Hartnett, surfer Kelly Slater and Leonardo DiCaprio was spotted outside the New England locker room following the Pats victory over the San Diego Crybabies last Sunday. According to a Boston Herald report Bundchen was invited to watch the game from owner Robert Kraft's luxury box and was seen waiting with Tom's right-hand-man after the game.

We all know that Tom and longtime squeeze actress Bridget Moynihan broke things off last October, and Giselle is certainly an upgrade from that average-looking B-list talent, but Tom c'mon, do you really want to be shacking up with a chick who dated "D-list" Hartnett, a surfer dude, and the irritating, ego-tripping star of Titanic? You're Tom Freakin' Brady! If Jeter can pull Jessica Biel he should at least pair up with someone like Jessica Alba or Jennifer Anniston. Or couldn't he find an unknown, untapped supermodel like Leo did with his latest plaything, Bar Raffaeli?

Keep upgrading, Tommy Boy, and one of these times you'll get it right.

...speaking of Jessica Biel, Cameron Diaz is a wacko
If it wasn't obvious before the Globes, when she showed up wearing a horror show of a dress, she made it painfully clear later on in the evening- Cameron is not only driving the crazy train she's trying to run Justin Timberlake's "sexyback" right off the tracks.

First came the report that Crazy Cam, or CC for short, was going out of her way to avoid the former Mousketeer before, during, and after the ceremony, where as a presenter JT did a hilarious send up of petite Prince. But come to find out that attitude was all an act and as soon as CC got a few liters of alcohol in her system her true psychotic side came out.

The New York Post's Page 6 reports that after the Globes CC followed JT to not one but two after parties, and at the second one at the Beverly Hilton hotel she went ballistic after spotting her ex chatting it up with Ms. Hotness herself, Biel. This evidently sent CC over the edge and she then went into a tirade against the two of them, promptly forcing Timberlake to beat a hasty retreat with his mommy according to TMZ.

Between her hideous dress, oil-slick hair, drag queen makeup, incessant booty shaking and now this it is safe to say that CC is probably on the way to the True Hollywood Story part of her career. Hey remember what happened to the last person Timberlake had a long relationship with? She's currently dating wannabe rappers, chain smoking, binge drinking, "falling asleep" at parties and flashing her C-section scar all over L.A.

Keep the dresses long, CC, and lay off the booze.

...speaking of booze, Lindsay Lohan enters rehab
In the least surprising news story since Trump slammed Rosie again Hollywood's favorite mess, errr young starlet has decided that it's finally time to let her liver breathe and checked herself into rehab.

The hard-partying 20-year-old (doesn't it seem like she's about 30?) decided that enough is enough just two weeks after supposedly undergoing an emergency appendectomy; ironically Linds was seen partying hearty the night after she checked into the hospital for the appendectomy.

This comes on the heels of her being reprimanded last summer by studio honcho James Robinson for her erratic, unprofessional behavior while filming "Georgia Rule." Which comes on the heels of her repeatedly hitting every major hotspot in Hollywood, flashing her "firecrotch" all over town and turning from a freckle-faced Disney star to a rail-thin caricature of herself.

Good luck, Linds, and it's nice to see that you will at least be able to put AA on your resume.

...speaking of the Crybabies, Schottenloser to remain as coach
Despite the fact that Marty Schottenheimer now owns the distinction of being the most successful regular season coach to never reach the Super Bowl and the fact that his teams have lost 6 straight postseason games and the fact that he and GM A.J. Smith can't stand each other, the Crybabies decided to play Martyball for one more year.

Schottenheimer agreed to remain with San Diego through the expiration of his current contract at the end of the 2007 season. Nothing is final after that as the sides, in true Ron Burgundy fashion, agreed to disagree about his future with the team beyond next season.

Suffice it to say that if the Crybabies suffer another meltdown like they did against the Pats and then proceed to whine about it like a bunch of little bitches afterwards Marty will not return for another go 'round in '08. But if somehow the underachieving Can't Win the Big Ones get over the hump and finally win a meaningful game then maybe Marty and Co. will continue to make whiny, boring, annoying music together for years to come.

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Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Golden Globes Wrap up

This being a sports & entertainment blog (it says so right in the subheading) I am obligated to post on last night's 64th annual Golden Globes Awards ceremony, otherwise known as the Baby Oscars.

My wife and I are avid award show watchers and this being the first of the season (last week's sad People's Choice Awards doesn't count) we dug in and prepared for a night of gorgeous gowns, good-looking guys and goofy gaffes.

She loves to watch these glorified dog & pony shows for the dresses, hairstyles, and tuxedoed hot-hot-hotties and I enjoy watching for the plunging neck & backlines, fake applause from dejected losers and the inevitable controversial/awkward moments.

Though last night's edition was perilously lacking in the entertainment factor there were plenty of surprise winners & losers, enough to compile some Top 5 lists in a number of categories.

Hot Hot Hotties, Male (from the wife):
5.) Justin Timberlake
A shaved head and a suit- this guy is so obviously copying my Christmas party look
4.) Ben Affleck
He's come a long way from the T-shirt & Red Sox ball cap look of his Beantown days
3.) (Markie) Mark Wahlberg
He's come a long way from the ripped abs and Calvin Klein underwear look of his Beantown days
2.) Patrick Dempsey
I still remember "Dr. McDreamy" as the goofy-looking star of such pre-pubescent teen schlock as "Loverboy", "Can't Buy Me Love" and as the immortal Woo Woo Kid of "In the Mood."
1.) Brad Pitt
Okay so the guy looks good in a suit but did my wife need to nearly knock me over running into the living room to see him on the Red Carpet?
Special mention: Alec Baldwin, Michael C. "Dexter" Hall, Terrence Howard

Hot Hot Hotties, Female:
5.) Jennifer Hudson/America Ferrera
It's nice to see beautiful & talented actresses who aren't dental-floss thin (pay attention Kate Bosworth, Katie Holmes, et. al.)
4.) Beyonce
She may have made some of the worst dressed lists for her shimmering golden gown, and the wife decried her sprayed-on enhancement but I thought she looked as hot as Suzanne Sommers' Malibu home
3.) Penelope Cruz
Between her & Salma they are giving other Spanish/Mexican actresses an awfully high bar to shoot for
2.) Salma Hayek
The wife thought she looked terrible. Ah, women.
1.) Jessica Biel
As I said last night, she's like the sun- you can't stare at her too long because your eyes will burn she is so hot. Damn her for dating Jeter!
Special mention: Eva Longoria, Emily Blunt, Reese Witherspoon

What Were They Thinking? Female
5.) Sienna Miller
I may not be a fashion expert but this Princess Leia meets the Swiss Miss 'do was simply god-awful.
4.) Vanessa Williams
Holy hideous hairdos Batman!
3.) Patricia Arquette
As one reviewer said "Medium? More like extra large"
2.) Jennifer Love Hewitt
Normally I love this buxom cutie no matter what she wears. Not this time.
1.) Cameron Diaz
"She's bringing ugly back (yeah!), bad dress bad hair, she don't know how to act (yeah!)..."

What Were They Thinking? Male
5.) Charlie Sheen
A lousy haircut, too-big suit and insistence that brother Emilio stand up and be recognized for Bobby; divorce is not "suiting" this party boy well
4.) Will Ferrell
For his sake I hope his 'Jewfro' was for an upcoming film
3.) Michael Bolton
Yes he finally cut the hair, but dude it's an awards show, wear a freaking tie will ya?!
2.) Prince
Looks like a getup for an extra at Disneyland
1.) Jeremy Irons
Did he just come from a movie set where he is playing a drunk swordswallower?

Funniest Moments:
5.) Hudson nearly tripping upon entering the stage to accept her award (there's always one tripper)
4.) Babel director Alejandro Gonzalez Innaritu promising Governator Schwarzenneger that he had his "papers" backstage
3.) Hugh Laurie's acceptance speech
2.) Justin Timberlake's Prince imitation
1.) Sasha "Borat" Cohen's hilariously raunchy acceptance speech

Awkward Moments:
5.) Tom Hanks repeatedly saying that Warren Beatty has "balls"
4.) Justin Timberlake waiting for Prince to accept his award, only the diminutive one was stuck in LA traffic
3.) Eye candy/ditzy interviewer Maria Menounos' dissing America Ferrera not once but twice after winning her award
2.) Jeremy Piven's mom/date (?!) talking on the red carpet about him being in her womb
1.) Sasha "Borat" Cohen's hilariously raunchy acceptance speech

Biggest Winners:
5.) Hugh Laurie, Best Actor in a Drama Series
When you beat out Jack Bauer & Dr. McDreamy you've accomplished something
4.) Helen Mirren, Best Actress in a Drama
The queen of English actresses (sorry Dame Dench) all but locked up her Oscar for portraying Queen Elizabeth II in The Queen; she also won for playing Elizabeth I in HBO's Elizabeth I
3.) Alec Baldwin, Best Actor in a Comedy Series
Less than one full season of 30 Rock under his belt and Baldwin proved what SNL devotees already knew: he is a very gifted comedic actor
2.) Marty Scorcese, Best Director, Drama
His Globe may finally lead to his first Oscar win
1.) Dreamgirls
Wins for Best Picture (Comedy or Musical), Best Supporting Actress (Hudson) & Actor (Murphy); lookout, Oscars.

Surprise Winners:
5.) Eddie Murphy, Actor in a Musical or Comedy
From hookers and Spice (Girls) to a major award is nice
4.) Kyra Sedgwick, Best Actress in a Drama Series
Mrs. Kevin Bacon not only looked great but she beat out the likes of Edie Falco, Evangeline Lilly and Ellen Pompeo.
3.) Babel, Best Movie, Drama
This lightly-seen, complex, intertwining thriller beat out rumored Oscar fave The Departed
2.) Ugly Betty, Best Comedy Series
Over The Office, Entourage, Weeds and Desperate Housewives? C'mon, it may be cute and refreshing, but no way is this critic's darling better than those shows, which leads to...
1.) America Ferrera, Best Actress in a Comedy Series
Her shaky, tearful acceptance speech signalled that she was just as shocked as the rest of us

Biggest Snubs:
5.) Lost
The former "must-see" show was really nowhere to be seen on this night, except for Evangeline Lilly's odd dress
4.) Kiefer Sutherland for Best Actor, Drama series
I think Jack Bauer needs to send a team of special operatives to destroy Hugh "House" Laurie
3.) Steve Carell for Best Actor, Comedy Series
I love Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy but Carell is THE funniest man on TV.
2.) Leonardo DiCan't-win-o for Best Actor, Drama
The guy comprised 2/5 of the nominees (for "The Departed" & "Blood Diamond") and still got stoned by Forest Whittaker. I think it's his accents.
1.) The Office for best Comedy
When will everyone realize that this show is the Seinfeld of the new millennium?

By the way, any reason why a number of the male attendees decided to forgo shaving for this event? Is it because it wasn't the Oscars or because the Sonny Crockett 5 o'clock shadow look is back in style? Just curious? Because I counted at least 10 men with stubble or scruffy beards from Dempsey, Hugh Laurie and John Stamos to Will Smith , Josh Holloway and Jake Gyllenhaal. Evidently in 2007 hair on the chinny chin chin is in.

Before I go I must relate one bit of news that may be the best item to come from the Globes, before, during or after. The sight of Diddy being refused entrance to a post-show party while the woman of the night, Helen Mirren, whisked in without a hitch is f-ing priceless. I guess that's why Puff Diddly Daddy throws his own extravagant parties-he can't get into the other ones!

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Monday, January 15, 2007

In honor of the Reverend King

I understand that an entire section of the country has been covered in a sheet of ice, sleet & snow which has led to numerous closings, widespread power outages and at least 39 deaths.

All I have to say to that is it was an unbelievably gorgeous 75 degrees & perfect today here in the F-L-A, and if you're tired of that shitty winter weather then do what I did and hightail it South, fools.

Despite the horrendous weather today is still a national holiday, a day to remember the life, words and philosophies of the great Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. On this day celebrating his life I thought I would use part of his most famous & inspirational speech and apply it to the NFL playoffs, because that's all I know how to do.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow victories. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for a 4th championship left you barraged by the words of persecution and staggered by the accusations of the MVP. You have been the veterans of playoff suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unrewarded suffering is not a good thing at all.

Go back to Seattle, go back to San Diego, go back to Dallas, go back to the slums and ghettos of New Jersey knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed as soon as you field a better team. Do not wallow in the valley of postseason failure despair.

I say to you today, my fellow football fans, that in spite of all the difficulties in coping with the fact that your team lost I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day the Chargers will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold these truths to be self evident: that all tasteless celebrations are created equal."

I have a dream that Sunday on a field in Indianapolis the son of a former Saints great and the son of a bitch who kicked 5 field goals last week for his new team will be able to sit down together at the post game podium and explain their loss.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Louisiana, a devastated state, suffering from the pain of loss and destruction, will be transformed into a place of Super Bowl partying and merriment (wait a minute...)

I have a dream that my child one day will live in a nation where he is not judged by the color of his jersey but by the number of championships his team has won.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of California, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with their inability to speak the English language, will be transformed into a state where players who act like little boys (Shawne Merriman) and players who whine like little girls (LT) will be able to pound fists with players from the Patriots and admit that they had every right to celebrate on the field last week.

I have a dream today.
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In all seriousness the real version of this very powerful & moving speech made by Dr. King in 1968 is more amazing when you consider the fact that the message is still relevant to this very day. As racism (Kramer), anti-Semitism (Mel) and senseless violence (Darrent Williams' death) grips our country and comes from all walks of life it is the message that we need to put our prejudices aside and come together as a nation.

After all we already have a war we are fighting overseas; why are we still fighting one at home?

To read the true verses of the "I have a dream" speech click here.

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LT, postgame yesterday


It's okay, Lil' L.T., you'll get another shot at the Patriots next year.

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Sunday, January 14, 2007

Division Playoffs day 2 Wrap up: Pats, Bears move on

Please tell me why people pick against the Pats in the postseason?

AFC: Patriots 24, Chargers 21

NFC: Bears 27, Seahawks 24

At the end of the Patriots win over AFC-darling San Diego Shawne Merriroid was reduced to a caricature of himself thanks to some Patriot mimicry, Marty Shottenheimer was re-confirmed as a playoff choke artist extraordinaire, and league MVP and notoriously humble L.T. was transformed into a sour-grapes spewing little bitch.

These are the kinds of things that happens to teams when the playoff express known as the New England Patriots rolls through your fine city and reduces your supposed great team to just another mediocre Super Bowl wannabe.

The Artists Formerly Known as a Dynasty played anything but dynastic football on this typically sunny San Diegan afternoon, but when you've been through so many playoff battles like this Brady&Belichick- led team has you're bound to steal some just from experience, heart, and the will-to-win alone.

And make no mistake the Pats did steal this victory from the Chargers. Well, not so much stole it as the Chargers handed it to them.

New England tried to find every way possible to lose this game, but no matter how many ways they nearly blew it, they still found a way to recover, despite the fact that...

...Tom Terrific was anything but early on, going a miserable 4-12 for 38 yards nearing halftime until he capped an 11-play, 72 yard 2:00 drive with a 6-yard touchdown pass to Jabbar Gaffney to cut the Chargers' lead to 14-10; Tommy Boy was 5-7 for 55 yards on that game-saving drive and an un-Brady-like 27-51 for 280 yards with 2 TDs & 3 picks in the game.

...Belichick completely abandoned the running game in the second half despite trailing by only one score as New England only had 21 rushing attempts in the game. Chew on this bit of irony: the Pats were outgained on the ground 148 yards -51 yards and Brady threw the ball 51 times and somehow they still won the game.

...Brady threw 3 interceptions, his most ever in a playoff game and a quarter of the total he had for the entire season. New England had 4 turnovers and gave the Chargers numerous opportunities to take control of this game. They couldn't.

...New England was trounced in the field position department. Six drives started inside their own 20 yard line while the Chargers average starting position was the 37. Plus San Diego had 3 drives begin at midfield or on the Pats' side of the field.

These AFC heavyweights pulled out all the stops on Sunday and unfortunately for San Diego New England has better stops in their arsenal. Poor Marty. The man led the Chargers to a 14-2 record and top seed in the AFC and is still going to be out of a job because he simply cannot win the big one. His record in the postseason is now a laughable 5-13 compared to the Hooded Genius, whose career playoff mark now stands at 13-2.

It wasn't like Marty didn't try everything he could to win this one. He went for it on 4th & 11 from the Pats 30 rather than have Pro Bowl kicker Nate Keading attempt a 49-yard field goal. Of course the play backfired and New England immediately drove to a 50-yard field goal by Stephen no I'm not AV but I'm pretty damn good Gostowski for a 3-0 lead, but hey, Marty was doing something ballsy so give him credit. It was incredibly stupid, but ballsy nonetheless.

New England won the game despite all of these flaws in their game because unlike any other team in the league they can adjust their play calling, game plan, and strategy on the fly. In Brady's own words when the Pats couldn't get anything going against the fired-up Chargers defense the Pats basically threw every type of game plan against the wall to see what would stick.

"I couldn't get into a rhythm," Brady said. "We were trying to throw quick stuff. That wasn't working. We tried to throw screens. That wasn't working. We tried to call runs. That wasn't working. We couldn't find any rhythm as an offense. Every time I would come to the sidelines, I'd say, 'Let's try something else."'

How many teams, or more specifically coaches, would allow that kind of mentality to take over in a playoff game? The answer: not many, because so many coaches are afraid to veer away from their sacred game plans or admit that something they have done for years isn't working. Brady & Belichick have no such fear. They also have no fear of failure, because as you looked at Brady on the sidelines amidst all the offensive sloppiness and confusion and facing a deficit on the road, he looked as calm & cool as a man with a 21-point lead in an early season game.

In other words these Pats do not panic. Ever. That's why they can win a game they appeared destined to lose. So when Brady throws and apparent game-killing interception late in the 4th quarter he knows that Troy Brown will turn into a defensive back and rip the ball from Marlon McRee's hands, giving New England new life and setting up Brady's touchdown to Reche Caldwell; the ensuing 2-point conversion, a carbon copy of Kevin Faulk's 2-pointer in SB XXXIX, tied the game at 21 and swung the momentum over to New England's side.

Once that comeback was complete you just knew the Pats would win the thing, it was just a question of how. That question was answered on the next drive. After forcing san Diego to punt Brady conducted the game-winning drive with poise and determination. His 49-yard bomb to Caldwell stunned the Qualcomm crowd and set up Gostowski's game-winning 31-yard field goal and it was all over but the crying (by Tomlinson.)

Cheer up, LT. You had a great game (123 yards, 2 TDs), an MVP season, and won the love & respect of football fans worldwide.

You can't help it if your guys ran into one of the most dominant, resilient, and resourceful playoff teams of all time.

Maybe next year.

Oh yeah, Bears beat Seattle on a field goal in OT (yawn.)

Let the REAL games begin:

Next Sunday-

Saints @ Bears
Pats @ Regular Season Wonders

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