NFL News & Notes

Another proper title for this post: NFL-the Battered, Bruised & Broke List.

M*A*S*H* UNIT:
-Pats safety Rodney Harrison was diagnosed with a broken scapula, or shoulder bone for those of us who don't watch House or Grey's Anatomy, which could force him to miss up to 8 weeks. The defensive leader was injured in the first quarter of the Pats loss to Indy Sunday night when he landed hard on his right side after tackling Marvin Harrison(no relation) on a 44-yard gain. Loyal New England fans are shuddering at the prospect of the team playing without the hard-hitting veteran again; last year Harrison only played in 3 games after suffering a devastating knee injury against the Steelers. The secondary resembled a revolving door rest of the season, and judging by the way Manning carved up the DBs on Sunday it is bound to be more of the same this year. Optimistic reports say he could be back in as little as 3-4 weeks because the injury does not require surgery- please, get well soon Rodney.

-Giants DE Michael Strahan is out for at least 2 and possibly 8 weeks after suffering a sprained right foot in New York's lackluster 14-10 win over Houston Sunday. This means the G-Men will be without Strahan, LB Lavar Arrington and DE Osi Umenyiora when the 7-1 Bears come to the Meadowlands for the Sunday Night Football game this week. To make matters worse for the Giants, WR Amani Toomer, who is tied w/ Tiki for the team lead in receptions with 32, has an ACL injury in his left knee and has been shelved for the rest of the year. With wideout Plexiglass Buress ailing as well (back spasms), I would say the money is going to be pouring in on the Chicago side, despite (or maybe partly because of) their tank-job against the Dolphins last week.

-Speaking of that Sunday Nighter, Bears LB Brian Ulracher may also miss the tilt due to his big toe sprain (isn't there a more technical term than that?) which he got after being landed on while making a tackle late in the game against the Fins. Which begs the question of Coach Lovie Smith: what the hell is your All-Everything defensive captain doing on the field in the waning minutes of a 31-13 game that was over by halftime? To which Lovie replied: "Because he's one of our defensive players, and the rest of our players were out there at the end of the game... We had our football team out on the field. He will be out there at the end of the game in other games, also." Okay then. My money says that not only will it take more than a toe injury to keep this warrior down, he will wreak havoc on the banged up Giants and sack Peyton's Brother at least twice. Mark my words (and I know you guys will.)

-Bills RB Willis Magahee will be sidelined indefinitely after breaking 3 ribs in the Bills 24-10 win over Green Bay. Although the bruising runner, famous for having his leg turned into a Thanksgiving wishbone in the epic Ohio State/Miami National Championship game 3 years ago, has had a down year so far (579yds,1TD), he is still the offensive backbone of this squad. In his absence the Bills will turn to former Bear Anthony Thomas. You may remember him- he had like a decent season, season & a half and went on thumping his chest about being "the real A-Train" (as opposed to the actual real A-Train, Mike Alstott), then proceeded to fall of the face of the planet. Good luck, Buffalo; nice time to lose your horse, right before 100 inches of powder blows into town.

-Seahawks Hasselbeck & Alexander still out
Pro Bowl QB Matt Hasselbeck(knee strain) and NFL MVP Shaun Alexander(broken foot bone) will not return to action this weekend when Seattle hosts the rams in a battle for the NFC West division lead. THe Haks had hoped to have at least Alexander back, but the foot has just not healed enough to risk having him on the field; he could return the following week. Hasselbeck still has soreness and is at least 1 if not 2 weeks from returning. So even though the Seahawks dispatched the hapless Raiders Monday Night, 16-0 in a game in which they recorded 9 sacks of Oakland QB Andrew walter, the offense still sputtered- they punted on 8 straight series after going up 13-0. So this game will be a big test of the backups, QB Seneca Wallace & RB Maurice Morris, but the end result won't say much about either team.

FINES & SUSPENSIONS:
'Groingate' sees both the kick-er & kick-ee fined
How much is a shot to the package worth? About $25Gs if you are Raider defensive end Tyler Brayton, better known as "the guy who kneed that loudmouth Seahawk in the groin." in that Monday Night debacle. For his part in the festivities the loudmouth, TE Jerramy Stevens, was fined $15k for instigating the whole sordid mess. So if you subtract the two amounts it only cost Brayton $10 grand to land a glancing blow to the jumblies of a guy half the league would like to hit there with a Louisville Slugger. In fact that would make a great filler show on the NFL Network: Hit Jerramy Stevens in the Nuts with a Louisville Slugger. Sign me up! And we know Warren (pot calling the kettle black) Sapp would be first in line. Seriously, if that doesn't work out for these two clowns how 'bout auditioning for roles in Jackass #3: Nuts for the NFL.

The good news this week: No arrests.