What to watch tonight

With election results pouring in from all around the country, there's only one thing to do tonight as a proud American: find out what else is on.
With the wife stuck at work, just like every election year, it will be free reign on the TV viewing tonight. Hmmm, what will I check out...

Dancing With the Scantily Clad Celebs, 8PM ABC
I'm just going to keep an eye on this show "for my wife", because after all it is down to the Final 3- bald Joe (formerly hairy Joey) Lawrence, Mario Saved by my Dimples Lopez, and my man Emmitt Smith. Lopez is the obvious fave, with his pretty-boy Latino looks, swivel-matic hips and "dimples you can stick your tongue into"(according to my wife's co-worker), but Emmitt has been coming on strong of late, as has Lawrence. It will be a heated battle to see who makes it to the final twosome tomorrow night, but the show just isn't the same without the lovable, laughable Jerry Springer. Not that I'm paying attention or anything.

Toledo (3-6) @ Northern Illinois (5-4), 7:30, ESPN2
What reason could there be to watch a matchup between these two MAC schools unless you are A: Bruce Gradkowski or Chester Taylor checking out your Toledo homeboys or B: a degenerate gambler? Turns out if you are a college football fan the answer is C: for NIU stud running back Garrett Wolfe. The diminutive (5'7") dynamo has been leading the NCAA in rushing basically all season(1479 yards, 14TDs) although no one really knows him; the last time he played on national TV he shit the bed: 25 yards on 18 carries vs. Western Michigan 3 weeks ago. Here's his chance to redeem himself, and your chance to catch one of the most exciting runners in college ball, size not an issue.

Help Me Help You, 9:30, ABC
This Ted Danson vehicle has hooked my wife & I in with its irascible, raunchy humor, high-brow jokes and stellar cast. Each week focuses on another one of Dr. Hoffman's (Danson, better than ever, except for Mayday Malone) wackos, but the drama always centers around the ego-centric shrink himself. Throw in hilarious barbs from his soon-to-be (maybe) ex-wife Anne, played to a tee by Jane Kaczmarek, and this show is a witty hit.

PRISON BREAK, DVR
Didn't get to see the show last night, but tonight will be a good time to catch up, especially with Linc and LJ getting busted last week.

This will be followed by about 4 hours of playing Need For Speed: Carbon on XBOX 360 before I have to hand it back in to Hollywood Video after my 1 week test run. The verdict is still out, but so far the game is placing somewhere in between the superb Underground and the lackluster Most Wanted. A full review will come after I have played my fingers to a nub tonight.