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Now that the hype has died down, it's time to look at who the real winners and losers were at the 80th annual Oscars
No beating around the bush here. This is my assessment of what went right and what went wrong at the Oscars Sunday night. (Note: click on post title to properly view all links)
Best Appearance, Women
(not just best dressed, but encompassing the whole she bangs)
1.) Katherine Heigl
I don't think the Grey's Anatomy hottie ever really looks bad, but she nearly set the red carpet on fire with this stunning old Hollywood glam look
2.) Kristen Chenowith
Didn't really know much about her before the ceremony, but now I know one thing: I'm going to start watching that quirky "Pushing Daisies" show from now on. Va. Voom.
3.) Marion Cotillard
Many people have trashed the Best Actress winner for this mermaid-meets pillow top gown, but I give her credit for being one of the few actresses to try something daring; she also gets bonus points for being drop dead gorgeous
4.) Laura Linney
She's not a glamorous young starlet, or an eye-popping show-stopper, but she's cool, she's clean, and she's classy. Nothing wrong with that.
5.) Jen Garner
I'm normally not a fan of this mousy maven, with her uni-lip and chest of a 12-year-old boy, but this might be the best she ever looked. Perhaps it was because she was sans Ben?
Best Appearance, Men
(as always, this list was compiled with help from the wife)
1.) The Rock
He's big. He's brawny. He's got an impeccable smile. Did I mention he's big? Cause the women sure did it enough!
2.) George Clooney
Although he was snubbed for his portrayal of Michael Clayton, he was on nearly every expert's "best dressed" list
3.) Patrick Dempsey
While the chicks continue to swoon over Dr. McDreamey, I still can't get the image out of my mind of him as the scrawny star of terrible teenage coming-of-age flicks. But I guess now he's the Woo Woo Man.
4.) Steve Carell
He just looks like he was made to wear a tux. Maybe it's the Michael Scott side of him.
5.) Javier Bardem
The wife chose P. Diddy for her 5th pick, but I say "Xavier" went a long way towards making people forget about that horrid Anton Chigurh hairdo, so he gets my vote
Worst Appearance, Women
1.)Tilda Swinton
This was the no-brainer of the night. What is this chick thinking? I mean she's ugly enough when she tries to look good, but was she purposely trying to look like a cross between Carrot Top and Steve Buscemi?
2.)Diablo Cody
Just saw Juno and it's a great flick, but please, you're not a stripper anymore, so drop the tawdry togs and tasteless tats and try to get a bit of what you obviously haven't found yet-class. Oh, and it was just a matter of time before these leaked out. You know what they say, you can take the girl out of the strip club...
3.)Rebecca Miller
I guess you can't really blame her since her husband's one of the worst dressed as well, but isn't the woman supposed to have better taste than the guy?
4.)Jennifer Hudson
As if last year's foil wrap wasn't bad enough...
5.)Kelly Preston
Look I love this woman--met her once and she was beautiful just wearing a sweatsuit--but she went from a leopard print to an apricot. Dial it down, Kelly, and you'll be fine. Maybe try the sweatsuit?
Worst Appearance, Men
1.)Daniel Day-Lewis
This regular Oscar contender and 2-time winner is also a perennial lock for this list. Bonus points for clinching the Worst Dressed Duo award with wife Rebecca Miller
2.) Viggo Mortensen
He looked like he forgot his role as a mean Russian mobster in eastern promises was just a character. The beard, the coat, the horror!
3.)Johnny Depp
It's not even fun to make fun of his look anymore. Like Day-Lewis, he obviously enjoys looking like a wacko/geek
4.)John Travolta
The tux was okay, but this man-kissing Sino was rockin the worst 'do this side of a chia pet. Maybe his follicles will make a comeback like his career once did
5.) Tilda Swinton
Wait, she wasn't trying to look like a dude? Never mind.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
2008 Academy Awards: Best & Worst
Monday, February 25, 2008
80th Academy Awards Recap
DO NOT make fun of this man's hairIt was only fitting on a night in which storm clouds hovered over the venue and rain soaked the red carpet that the 80th annual Academy Awards would be dominated by a couple of dark films in front of an audience clad primarily in crimson.
While it appeared that the majority of starlets got the internal memo to blend in with the most infamous rug this side of Howard Cosell, two films that dealt with the darker side of life took home the most coveted awards.
The early oil industry saga "There Will be Blood" helped Daniel Day-Lewis earn his second Best Actor trophy in the least surprising outcome of the evening, while Joel & Ethan Coen's tale of a deranged killer with a horrendous hairdo, "No Country For Old Men", was the big winner, garnering statues for Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Javier Bardem), Best Director(s) and Best Adapted Screenplay.
The telecast was strangely devoid of excitement and surprises for the most part, with milquetoast host Jon Stewart playing it safe on the heels of the writer's strike, while the stars were apparently just happy to be able to play dress up and attend an event after the aborted fiasco that was the Golden Globes.
Ironically despite all the testosterone and griminess it was the fairer sex that provided most of the intrigue on the evening.
First carrot-topped Tilda Swinton swiped the Best Supporting Actress trophy from front runner Cate Blanchett and sentimental fave Ruby Dee for her portrayal as a powerful woman with a closet full of insecurities in "Michael Clayton", a victory that took even Swinton off guard judging by her "what, I really won?" expression upon hearing her name announced.
Then former stripper-turned screenwriter Diablo Cody "shocked the world" by scoring the Best Original Screenplay hardware, not so much for her penning of the tender reality check flick "Juno", but for her decision to wear a slitted, sleeveless leopard print frock that exposed her tacky stripper tat to the stodgy Hollywood upper crust.
But the biggest surprise was newcomer Marion Cotillard winning the Best Actress award for her portrayal of troubled singer Edith Piaf in the French biopic "La Vie en Rose." Cotillard, a stunningly beautiful actress who had never been in a hit movie in the States, beat out Hollywood heavyweights Blanchett, Julie Christie and Laura Linney in winning America's premier acting award.
Plus she wore the most evocative dress, had the best acceptance speech, and sung at the post-show presser. Hard to top that.
Her win combined with Bardem's (Spain), Day-Lewis' (England) and Swinton's (England) made it a clean sweep for foreign-born actors in the 4 major categories for the first time since 1964 and only the second time ever. Bardem's win marked the first for a Spaniard, and Cotillard the first by a French woman since 1960.
As Swinton succinctly put it in her speech,"Don't tell everybody, but we're everywhere - that's what Hollywood is."
Who said our country's foreign policy was a mess?
Coming tomorrow: The Best & Worst of the 80th annual Oscars
Sunday, February 24, 2008
Oscar Nominee Review: Michael Clayton
Michael Clayton
Directed by Tony Gilroy
Starring: George Clooney, Tom Wilkinson, Tilda Swinton, Sydney Pollack
Rated: R for adult language & themes
Running Time: 2 hours
Nominated for: Picture, Director, Actor,(Clooney), Supporting Actor (Wilkinson), Supporting Actress (Swinton), Original Score, Original Screenplay
George Clooney and Director Tony Gilroy shine in the feel-good "movie" of the year
First I want to preface this review by stating that I haven't had a chance to screen most of the major Oscar nominees this year. Whether it was a case of a lack of interesting contenders (Sweeney Todd, Atonement, La Vie en Rose, this means you), the late release of front runners such as There Will be Blood, or a lack of interest due to the possibility of the writer's strike cancelling the ceremony, my wife and I just weren't as into the whole process as much as in years past.
We were able to catch Viggo Mortensen's chilling portrayal of a sinister Russian killer with a conscience in Eastern Promises a few weeks ago, easily recognizing it as an Oscar-worthy performance before the nominees were announced, and we also witnessed Ruby Dee's heart wrenching turn as the mother of a corrupt American killer in American Gangster last summer, but that's about it as far as the major players go.
But thankfully we did watch 7-time nominee Michael Clayton last night, and as far as I'm concerned the quality of that film more than made up for the lack of quantity we suffered from missing most of the others.
That's because Michael Clayton is a true movie lover's movie, one devoid of shootouts, car chases, contrived plot twists and foul-mouthed dialog that's too witty for its own good.
No, Clayton is a stylish, subtle and understated legal thriller, one that doesn't spell out its agenda in the opening scenes, yet keeps the viewer engrossed enough to follow the narrative through all the way to the intense final frame. It's a thinking viewer's movie, one that relies on the powerful dramatic chops of the actors involved and the polished guidance of a first-time director to lead the viewer through a straightforward plot that manages to astound and impress without beating the audience over the head with what it's trying to accomplish.
Clooney plays the title character, a legal "fixer" at a large and prestigious law firm in New York who has suffered through numerous obstacles in his life while trying to navigate a road to riches & success, with just the right amount of gravitas and severity. He's a divorced father of a grade-school aged son with a gambling problem and an addict brother who convinced him to invest in a local restaurant that ended up going belly-up, leaving Michael with a $75,000 debt and facing the eternal question of "what am I doing with my life?"
When the chief litigator at his firm, Artur Edens (a superb Wilkinson) goes berserk at a deposition in a $3 billion dollar class action suit for agricultural giant U-North, Clayton, who has been a close friend of Edens for many years, is called in to handle the situation and bring the rogue lawyer back to reality. That's when the slow-starting film takes its turn into mesmerizing, memorable cinema.
Turns out Edens has not just suffered a relapse of his manic-depression caused by his failure to stay on his meds, but he has discovered, via a long-buried interdepartmental U-North memo, that the company knew it was pumping cancer-causing agents into the wells of unsuspecting farmers for years, choosing to bury the revelation at the risk of spending millions of dollars to rectify the problem.
At the urging of the firm's founder, Marty Bach (co-producer Pollack), Clayton is instructed to reign in the rogue partner or the company's proposed merger with a London-based firm could fall through, not to mention cost the firm millions in legal fees it is owed for the 6+ years of billable hours it has put in on behalf of U-North.
Trouble is Clayton has enough issues of his own on his plate, namely the $75k he owes for his failed business venture, which combined with his years of gambling losses has left him near penniless and on the verge of emotional collapse himself.
This conundrum faced by the lead character, who could have been portrayed as a suave, slick legal eagle with a Fortune 500 portfolio and a stable of sexy mistresses, combined with the laid-back direction of first-timer Gilroy, best known as a writer of the Bourne trilogy and producer of Proof of Life, makes for fascinating cinema, and witnessing how Clooney handles this crossroads in his character's life is what makes Clayton one of the most absorbing films to grace the screen in a long time.
There are two scenes that best exemplify the subtle yet powerful punch the actor and director provide, and although they are mere minutes in length and are not pivotal to the overall plot, they serve as crystal-clear reminders why this is one of the year's best films.
The first is a scene involving Clayton and a trio of wild horses, which we witness both in the beginning of the movie as well as later when the story comes back to where we joined it. Brilliantly shot with just the right amount of silence and background illumination, it leaves an indelible impression on the viewer's mind, and not because of the single explosive scene in the film that comes afterward.
The second is a quiet yet gut-punching monologue with Clayton and his young son in the car. After leaving a family function in which Michael's deadbeat brother shows up as they are leaving his sister's house, Michael tries to explain to his boy that not all men turn out to be drug-addled losers like his brother. Watching Clooney wrestle with emotions as his eyes well up and his brow twists in knots is by far one of the most heart-wrenching, emotional three minutes of film I've ever seen an actor produce, and I couldn't help but think as the scene ended that he could have won the Oscar based on that snippet of cinematic excellence alone, the rest of his brilliant performance aside.
Of course his is not the only great acting job turned in, as Wilkinson is at the top of his game as the hot shot lawyer who either has had a moment of epiphany after realizing that the people he has been fighting for all these years are really the true enemies in life, or he has just finally snapped following years of legal wrangling in which people's lives are destroyed, his own included.
Tilda Swinton also turns in a terrific performance as the chief litigator for U-North who has to appear calm and confident in front of the stuffed suit millionaires she represents, but underneath the facade she is merely an insecure woman on the verge of a breakdown herself. All the other roles are deftly handled as well, from Pollack as the money-grubbing chief partner, to Clayton's son Henry, played by Austin Williams with just the right mix of child-like naivete and grownup smarts.
All in all Michael Clayton is one of the most satisfying movies for fans of real movies ever made. The acting is top notch, the directing is first rate, the cinematography is attention-getting with out being over the top, and to top it all off it has an ending that will leave you with goose bumps and still smiling at the same time.
What more can you ask of a film?
Monday, February 18, 2008
Dwight "Superman" Howard resurrects the dunk contest
In 2006 Orlando Magic big man Dwight Howard dazzled absolutely no one (at least not the judges) when he failed to make the semifinals despite placing an NBA logo sticker approximately 12 1/2 feet above the court on the backboard as he dunked.
For this unforeseen feat Howard was promtly told "nice try, but come back next year", partially because no one actually realized what he had done until he grabbed a tape measure to show the crowd the tiny sticker after the dunk was over.
The message sent: Gotta wow 'em with the dunk, not minutes after.
Following a foursome of awesome and never before seen slams, this time it was Howard who sent the message: guess what people, I'm bringing this competition back to the forefront of the sports scene again, so just hop on my cape and enjoy the view.
After warming up with an incredible behind-the-rim stuff in which he bounced the ball off the back of the backboard, then slammed it through with his left hand while his head remained behind the plexiglass barrier, earning a perfect score from the judges and a standing O from the sold out crowd, Howard set the bar back at Jordanian heights with his next, and most memorable, dunk.
First defending champ Gerald Green of the T'Wolves did his best to take the competiton to another level with his "birthday cake" dunk, blowing out a candle on a cupcake that had been placed at the base of the rim before completing his second slam, but soon Howard would upstage the cupcake, the blindfold, and nearly every other dunk that has come before his.
That's when Superman entered the New Orleans arena.
Growing up as an avid NBA fan in Boston, my memories of the dunk contest include Jordan's infamous foul line flight, Spud Webb's miraculous gravity-defying bounds, Dominique's powerful windmills, and Dee Brown's Reebok Pump-fueled blind eyed blast.
Sure there have been some semi-memorable slams over the last decade, most notably Jason Richardson's acrobatic exploits in 2003 & 04, Josh Smith's Spud tribute in 2005 and Vince Carter's Isiah Rider between-the-legs imitation in 2000. But for the most part the last few contests have been watered down by a series of uninspired slams, highlighted by tedious do-overs (this means you, Nate Robinson) and a whole "been there, seen that" vibe.
But what we witnessed on Saturday night not only brought back memories of the good old days, it took the competition into the new milennium by setting a new standard for the future dunkers of America.
After Green's cupcake classic, which any other year might have been good enough to win it all, Howard ditched his Magic jersey to reveal a Superman logoed replacement underneath. And when he doffed a red cape and watched his partner-in-dunks, teammate Jameer Nelson, tape a mark on the court from which he would soar, the entire viewing audienced was abuzz with anticipation of seeing something special.
Needless to say Howard did not disappoint.
With the grace of a gazelle and the power of a pit bull, Howard streaked in from the sideline, took off from just inside the dotted circle, leapt through the sky, errr air, and put the ball threw the hoop with such force that no one seemed to realize that he didn't actually dunk the ball but flung it through the cylinder using sheer ferocity and velocity.
And this time it didn't matter that people had to be shown later what had actually happened.
No, this time Dwight managed to etch his name in the pantheon of the all-time greatest dunkers, so much so that his final two dunks, a spectacular volleyball-esque tap and slam and a playfull mini Magic hoop assisted finale, were rendered moot by the shockwave rippling through the crowd flowing on the tails of Superman's cape.
And now the entire NBA loving culture owes Dwight a big thank you for making something that had been so special and then so sour relevant again.
All in a day's work for the Man of Steel.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Clemens: I did not have steroidal relations with that needle
With football officially over and spring training about to begin, today we got a tatse of what the season will be filled with: talk of 'roids, HGH and bloody bums
Roger Clemens and his arch nemesis, former trainer/primary injector of illegal enhancers Brian McNamee, testified in front of a Congressional hearing this morning regarding their roles in the burgeoning steroid scandal, and to say parts of their testimony resembled a low-grade sitcom would be a major understatement.
In fact the marathon sessions provided enough fodder to fill the sports blogosphere with an unlimtimited supply of unintentional comedic gold for years to come.
Here are a few of the prime nuggets to come out of today's episode of The Day Roger Clemens Went to Capitol Hill:
-When asked why his testimony contradicted good friend and longtime teammate Andy Pettitte's sworn statements regarding the Rocket's use of HGH, Clemens responded by saying that Pettitte must have "misremembered" their conversations, confusing them with a discussion the two had about a TV show in which three old guys discussed using HGH to improve their quality of life.
Um, okay.
-Although Clemens denies that HE ever took performance enhancers, he admitted that his wife, Debbie, actually DID use HGH, in order to get her 39-year-old mother-of-four body in shape for a Sports Illustrated swimsuit picture in 2003.
The kicker is McNamee supposedly injected Debbie one day at the Clemens compound when Roger was not present, giving new meaning to the term 'back door man'.
-Accuser McNamee was labeled a "drug dealer", "liar" and general disreputable scoundrel by many members of the panel, yet he still came off as more believeable than Clemens, thanks to coroborrating testimony from Pettitte and fomer Stankee teammate Chuck Knoblach.
How bad is it when a lying backstabbing drug dealer has more credibility than a 7-time Cy Young winner?
-But the pies de restisance had to be this Jerry Springer-esque exchange regarding the repercussions of Roidger's injections from ESPN.com's Jayson Starke's terrific live-blog of the proceedings:
"Rep. Davis reported that McNamee had testified that Mike Stanton once noticed that Clemens was bleeding through his dress pants -- which caused him to start carrying band aids around, presumably for his bleeding butt."
Davis: "Mr. Clemens, do you recall bleeding through your pants in 2001?"
Clemens: "I do not."
Play ball!
So what are we to make of all this he-said, he-said namecalling nonsense as we head into another baseball season that promises to be filled with more talk of drugs and denials?
For one thing the case of Clemens might be far from over, as the Comitteee weighs its options of whether or not to pursue perjury charges against the Rocket, but in the court of public opinion Clemens' reputation & credibilty is now on par with Mark McGuire, Raffy Palmeiro Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa's from now until the end of time.
No one in their right mind will ever believe that Pettitte & Debbie Clemens used HGH but Roger himself never did, so any denials that come out of his mouth go right on the shelf with those other infamous non-admittances.
The other thing that this mess ensures is that everyone who wasn't sick of the steroid scandal after the BALCO hearings, Mitchell report and every other drugs in sports investigation is surely sick of it now. Sordid testimony, squirming superstars and ready-made soundbites have officially replaced pitching stats, slugging percentages and inflated home run totals, and none of us baseball fans are any better for it.
By now it's quite apparent that the era in question should be classifed as the Steroid Era; it's obvious that many players, hitters & pitchers, stars & scrubs, were active participants in taking anything and everything that could enhance their performance and expediate healing since said substances WERE NOT BANNED BY MLB, and numbers and stats should be taken for what they are - inflated reflections of the times, not accurrate measurements of how these players stack up against the great, non-roided players in the game's history.
What else can we conclude when the best pitcher and batter in the modern era have both been accused of using these substances, and both will most like be tried for perjury and could possibly wind up doing jail time for the sin of trying to become the biggest, baddest players in town, all while the leaders of MLB stood idly by and allowed these things to go on unchecked because these massive men wre successfully making everyone involved in the game richer?
So please, as the 2008 season begins with the Red Sox the defending World Champs and favorites to repeat, can we please just get back to enjoying the game as it was meant to be?
You know, minus the bloody bums.
Monday, February 04, 2008
SB XLII Postmortem: Pats dreams killed by instant karma
Yeah, this was enjoyable to wake up to this morning.Gonna knock you right on the head
You better get yourself together
Pretty soon you're gonna be dead"
As is the case with most things in life, last night's staggering choke job by the Patriots in Super Bowl XLII can best be summed up by the lyrics of John Lennon.
Many people have ascribed to the karma theory in describing what happened to this supposed dynasty, this alleged "greatest team ever", this suddenly slow group of tired and aging playoff warriors. And what's a once-cocky Patriot fan to say other than karma came back on 'em in a big way?
Well that and the Giants treated them like a urinal at a Sturgis bar during bike week.
But me being a liberal democrat and all I believe in shit like karma, and I have to agree that there is something to be said for how badly the whole "flaunt it in everyone's face that this team was the greatest of all time and would have no trouble capping off their record-setting season with an annihilation of the Giants en route to an historic title" slant blew up in our faces.
Looking back, I now realize how arrogant and smug I sounded before the game whenever the subject of the Pats chances of making history came up.
When my next door neighbor, Philly fan Robin, asked me if I was nervous about the Big Game, my response was a non-plussed "why should I be, they haven't lost in over a year?"
And I practically made my co-workers throw up with my weekly '___(fill in the win total here)-0 with ___(fill in the amount of games left)more to go' signs. When my boss so slyly inquired this morning, "what happened to 18-0 and one more to go, Jeff?", it was all I could do to keep from bursting out in a hysterical scream of ashamed madness.
So when Tom Brady responded to NY WR Plaxico Burress' mid-week prediction that the Giants would win 23-17 with a condescending "(we're only gonna score) 17 points?", complete with a Madison Ave melting grin and actual bemusement, I could only agree with his reaction instead of noticing what a foolhardy, cocky, and utterly idiotic thing that was to say.
In the end it turns out we were right to be incredulous at Plexico's promise: the Pats didn't even get 17 points.
The hints of bad karma potentially coming back to bite us in the ass came early--illegitimate kids, spying--and often--running up the score, postgame handshakes--so it was fitting that when the ultimate upset had been completed, karma came full circle as Bill Belichick left the field before the game was officially over, sealing his fate as one of the most miserable, unlikeable classless faux-geniuses to ever put on a hoodie.
Speaking of, it was another co-worker of mine who asked the $64,000 question when the gloom had subsided a bit this morning: why was Belichick wearing that god-awful bright & shiny new red hooded sweatshirt for the game? League mandate, I guessed, what with those NFL brass types wanting to put on as glossy a front as possible for the NFL Films folks.
But I think Doni tapped into something there; when Belichick shedded that tattered, nasty old hoodie, the one that had been through the countless battles, that had been privy to confidential tapes, that had been an arm's length away from refusing to shake another coach's hand, he lost his mojo, his security blanket, his irascible prick cloak.
After that fashion faux pas (one in a long line of blunders made by the coach on the day) Eli Manning turned into Peyton, David Tyree turned into Franco Harris, Tom Coughlin turned into a coaching genius in his own right, and the curtain fell on what was supposed to be a team for the ages and exposed the mierable little man underneath.
"Instant karma's gonna get you
Gonna look you right in the face
Better get yourself together darlin'
Join the human race
How in the world you gonna see
Laughin' at fools like me
Who in the hell'd you think you are
A super star? "
Payback's a bitch.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
The Dark Night: Pats' dreams of perfection gone in less than 2:00
Super Bowl XLI:
NY Giants 17, New England 14
MVP: Eli Manning
Ding dong the dynasty is dead.
With history on the line and immortality within reach, the New England Patriots fell short in its quest for a fourth title in 7 years tonight in Glenadale, Arizona.
Eli Manning led the Giants on a miraculous last-minute drive, highlighted by an epic escape from pressure that resulted in a huge 3rd down completion, and when Tom Brady's heave on 4th & 20 from the Pats 16 fell short with :02 seconds left, the world came crashing down on a legion of fans up to its earholes in cockiness and condescention for the last 12 months.
Let the onslaught begin.
No escuses, either, the Pats just got whipped. It was a perfect shitstormn of poor play calling, bad passes, stupid penalties, a piss-poor offensive line and a zillion missed opportunities on defense.
Was it just me or did New England's D look to be an average of 105 years older than New York's D, save for that last drive when Adelius Thomas finally showed up and played like a man possessed for about three plays.
Right now I can't even write a comprehensive sentence, so I'm gonna go drown my sorrows, sleep it off, and come back tomorrow with plenty of insightful commentary regarding the next titanic collapse chapter written in the log of New Engldand sports lore.
Should be a fun day at work tomorrow.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
SB XLII Notes: Hateriot Nation in full effect
Walking to the copy machine at my office I've heard it about 100 times over the past two weeks.
At my son's Little League ballfield, more than one parent has made the comment in some form or another, with varying degrees of vileness or matter-of-factness.
Log on to any (non-Boston) sports blog and you have to shield your eyes from the shitstorm of hate blowing full-force in Patriots' fans direction from every comment board and Super Bowl post.
And to top things off, when I picked up my copy of the St. Pete Times sports page yesterday morning I was even greeted by a 1000-word column stating what I've known to be obvious from many first-hand experiences:
Yup, the country's number-one passtime right now appears to be New England bashing.
"Hope the Pats lose."
"They're gonna lose you know."
"The Giants are gonna take the Pats down!"
...and the ever popular...
"Fuck New England!"
Been there, heard that, can't wait to buy the DVD.
The funniest thing about all this animosity towards the Greatest Team of All Time and fans of the Hub of the Sports Universe in general is that the more you idiots hate us, the better off we feel. It means our team is beating the shit out of eveybody, including the team of said bashers, and rater than ignoring it, we are friggin' eating up all this vim & vitriol coming our way.
Like Bostonians can't take a little namecalling, fighting and hatred? We're fucking bred on that stuff, morons.
So keep the hate coming. We don't want the pity and the sympathy and the chraity that comes with being fans of a pathetic, unlucky, and/or bumbling organization.
We'd rather feed off the hate, revel in it, until we're so full of happiness and championship trophies that every sports fan in the country hates our very existence.
I guess we are turning into the Evil Empire II.
Oh well.
Coming Tomorrow: SB XLII Prediction
Sunday, January 27, 2008
SB XLII Notes: 1 week to go, aka the Worst Sunday of the Year
After a week of unending commentary, relentless analysis, continuous comparisons and sorry soundbites, I'm so ready for some football that I had to replay the Pats/Giants game from Week 17 just to remind myself that New England has a chance to win the latest installment of the Big Game.
Because everywhere I go, from my son's Little League field to my office, and everything I watch and listen to, from ESPN to sports talk radio, I am subject to some form of the following phrase:
"granted, New England should win this one, but if the Giants can just...(insert some form of ingenious scheme or gameplan that they assume Belichick hadn't already thought of three years ago here)"
or
"(noticing Pats visor on my head) Patriots...psssssshhhhh, they suck. They cheat and they suck, and the Giants are gonna beat them this time 'cuz they nearly beat em in that last game of the season...(grinning idiotically)"
Which begs a question I've been asking myself after seeing the vitriol directed towards Boston sports fans lately: which is really worse, the Boston fans or the Boston fan bashers?
Check out the Deadspin comment board at any given hour to learn the answer to that one.
But I digress. The three major "news" stories related to the game this off week have focused on Brady's bum ankle, the fact that he brought cheesy flowers to Giselle's pad while flaunting his boot, and Plaxico Burress brazenly (i.e. foolishly) stating that he believes the G-Men have a better receiving corps than New England.
See what I mean. Purgatory.
But I would be a fool, or at least a terrible blogger, if I didn't throw a post into this football vacuum, so here's my takes on the major topics, and my ever-reliable prediction for each:
-Brady's ankle improving, chances of playing remains at 100%
Look, enough already, we get it -- Tom injured his ankle in the AFC Championship Game, which explains why he turned into Kerry Collins for a little bit, and he certainly tweaked it enough to merit some medical concern-- but to sit around harping about the chances of the injury affecting him come Sunday, or whether or not he's good enough to beat Eli Manning even if he's not, is a complete waste of time, words and breath.
In fact, the more everyone talks about it, the more I'm convinced there is absolutely nothing wrong with the man, and he and Belichick and the team are merely playing it up, you know, for shits & giggles. When you think about it Brady has been playing it so coyly, from a public appearance on the streets of New York with the boot then partying at Butter later that night sans said bulky footwear, to no-showing for a couple of practices but then greeting fans at a rally with no signs of a limp, that it makes perfect sense.
My guess: by next Sunday the story will have been so beaten to death even Britney Spears will have tired of hearing about it, and Brady will show no ill-effects of the phantom sprain as he picks apart the Giants d-backs like he chooses the next mother of his love child.
-Plexiglass Burress makes expensive comments his teammates can't cash Hey, Plex, look you had a nice game last week, and you've had a nice season, and you are a tall, tough receiver who can come down with a big catch or strive for that extra yard when you're team needs it...
...but when you say that you believe that your teammates and yourself constitute a better receiving corps than the Patriots collection of Pro-Bowlers and record-holders, well people dismiss your accomplishments and just think you're a fucking idiot.
Forget the fact that statistically speaking the New York receivers come up short in ever major category, (see NFL rankings chart for yourself):
NE/NY
YDS: 4859(1)/3376(22)
REC: 440(2)/302(23)
TDs: 50(1)/23(14)
YPG: 304(1)/211(22)
and focus on the fact that Burress, New York's #1 target, isn't even better than Moss, Boston's primary weapon. In fact, Burress' numbers are more on par with Wes Welker's as far as yards and TDs (although Welker caught 42 more passes then Plexiglass), and the stats of Brady's 3rd & 4th options (Stallworth and Kevin Faulk) or 5th & 6th choices (Gaffney and Ben Watson) are comparable to Burress and his backup band of Armani Toomer, Jeremy Shockless, Sinorice Moss and Derrick Ward.
MY Guess: this boast will blow up in Burress' face in the same way that Anthony 'Memba me? Smith's and Igor the Idiot Olshansky's did this year, and Burress will admit to smoking too much winter green the morning before that press conference.
-Brady bringing flowers was bigger story than the boot
This is what happens when you've got scum-sucking leeches like TMZ dovetailing their coverage of skanky celebs and coked-out starlets into the sports world. Instead of just leaving it at "oh shit, Tom's in a walking boot", now we've got a debate about why he's bringing pansies to his girlie's house, and how come he's always holding little doggie and...oh just shoot me now.
my prediction: this story will still be talked about long after the Super Bowl ends, because after the Pats win their 4th championship, this is the type of shit the haters will have to hold on to.
One. More. Week.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
18-0, one more to go: Pats defeat Chargers, 21-12, to reach SB XLII
It wasn't pretty, and Tom Brady wasn't at his best, but the Pats took care of business and defeated the whining crybabies from San Diego to make it to their 4th Super Bowl in the last 7 years.
Brady threw three picks and was forced to rely on the running game more than usual to seal this win, but with the key Chargers banged up, it was basically a foregone conclusion that New England was going to win this one, it was only a question of 'how'.
The answer was on the ground, as New England relied on the running game for the second week in a row instead of the potent passing attack that has been their hallmark all season. Lawrence Maroney rang up his second consecutive 122-yard game, 116 coming in the 2nd half when the Pats adjusted their gameplan to compensate for the Chargers' decision to take away Randy Moss & the receivers.
Although Moss had just 1 catch for the second consecutive game, the combination of Maroney's herculean effort combined with some clutch catches by unheralded yet invaluable situational back Kevin Faulk provided the Pats with enough firepower to bring send the Chargers home from the playoffs for the second year in a row.
Faulk had 8 receptions for 82 yards, none bigger than his 14-yard grab on 3rd & 3with just over 5 minutes to go in the game and the Pats nursing the 9-point lead. The catch allowed the drive to continue, and New England ran out the clock on San Diego's season after that. In fact, after the Pats got the ball back with 9:13 to play, San Diego never touched the rock again.
Perhaps the Chargers could take a lesson from the Pats backs, as the dynamic duo of Faulk and Maroney outgained the Chargers combo of LaDanian Tomlinson and Michael Turner 221 total yards to 77 total yards. Most of that differential can be attributed to the fact that king crybaby Tomlinson played just one series, carrying the ball twice and recording one catch, before his bad knee forced him to the sideline for the rest of the day.
There he sat like little Dark Helmet, on the bench bundled up and pouting while his teammates tried to pull off the miraculous upset.
Too bad even on a day when Brady (22-33, 209yds, 2TD, 3INT) looked mortal, the Chargers were made up of too many walking wounded players to put up much of a fight against what is shaping up to be the best team in NFL history.
Maybe next year, SD.
So now the Pts will head to Arizona to meet up with those pesky Giants again after the G-Men pulled the upset against the Packers in Lambeau. Get ready for two weeks of stories about how New York "almost" beat New England in the last game of the regular season, and how they have a good shot at upsetting the Pats in the Bowl.
To that I say bring it on, New York.
Cause Boston's ready to make you our bitches in two sports, boys.
AFC Championship Game: Chargers @ Pats
Quickie Prediction:
Chargers all banged up, had little chance of winning if healthy. Factor in 0-degree temps and the greatness that is Tommy Brady, and what you have is hello, Super Bowl XLII.
MY PICK: Pats 34, San Diego 17
GO PATS!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Could the latest episode of 'Randy Being Randy' derail Pats?
Answer: Not likely, but it sure could jeopardize his job security and impending payday 
By now we all know the details that have made available surrounding the latest strange & scandalous story involving Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss.
But, in case you've been watching too much American Karaoke, here's a brief rundown:
Moss has been slapped with a restraining order by a "longtime companion" of his, who claims that on January 6th, Moss inflicted bodily harm on her and then would allow her to leave her residence to seek medical attention for the (alleged) injuries. The document also states that Moss has a drinking problem, and owns some firearms.
Hmmmmmm.
The episode quickly went from Internet rumor to full-blown scandal after Moss took to time out of his normally media-silent week to defend himself in an impromptu news conference at Gillette on Wednesday that had the feel of a future R. Kelly rape trial presser.
He claims that this companion was slightly injured during an act of "horseplay", and that he never tried to prevent her from taking care of her injury. It was all a misunderstanding. In fact, he professes to have "never laid a hand on a woman in his life", this coming from a guy who tried to run over a meter maid in Minneapolis.
Since then shots have been fired from both camps, with the Moss lawyers stating that he was being extorted by a companion of the companion to the tune of $500 Gs, and The companions firing back that Moss tried to blackmail them to stay quiet.
It's a classic, convoluted case of 'he said-she said', but let's get one thing clear: since no one wants to talk about what actually happened, and the women is being labeled a "companion", and Moss deemed the action an accident, we can all assume that this was some R. Kelly-related form of kinky sexual injury we're talking about, and not a full-fledged attack on a defenseless woman.
In other words, it's just another case of Randy Being Randy, which is evidently the mid-winter equivalent of Manny Being Manny for Boston sports fans.
But the big question is, will this distraction hinder the team's ability to obliterate every team in its path on the way to immortality?
And the answer is no. because nothing, not even the lead QB impregnating an actress and then upgrading to a supermodel, can prevent this team from accomplishing its goals. Especially not a minor flare up like this.
No, the question isn't whether Randy will go on to catch 10 passes for 150 yards and 3 scores on Sunday, the question is what this latest incident--and the pending outcome of any legal decisions-- could do to his status as an unrestricted free agent?
Over the last few weeks word was coming out that Moss, who took a major pay cut and a 1-year deal to play for New England this year, could command, or demand, $10 million a year for multiple years following his record-breaking 23 TD reception season.
But with another character blemish hanging over Randy's cornrows like a nagging bug, the Pats brass will have him right where they like all their star players not named Brady: over the contract barrel.
Good move, Randyman. Now go ring up that 10/150/3 game and continue to pray this issue all blows away.
Monday, January 14, 2008
2008 AFC Championship Game: Chargers vs. Pats
San Diego stuns Colts, setting up a playoff rematch with the Pats, this time at Gillette 
Sunday's AFC Divisional Playoff Game was an "either/or" proposition for the New England Patriots and their ever-polarizing fan base:
either the Colts would win, setting up a grudge match rematch of their epic AFC Championship game of a year ago; or the Bolts would win, setting up a grudge match rematch of their epic AFC Divisional Playoff Game from a year ago. Not to mention it would also mean that Peyton's legacy would be back in its proper place -- playoff choker.
Either way, it was a win/win for Pats fans no matter how you sliced it.
Turns out Peyton and the beat up Colts were not as well prepared to defend their title as everyone thought they would be, and the listless Mannings dropped another big home playoff game, falling short of the big prize once again when they gagged to the Chargers, 28-24.
Christmas in January, anyone.
How else can you describe having the irritating, infuriating, self-promoting ADD-riddled quarterback with the goofy family and the toothy smile at home watching this year's battle for the Bowl instead of fucking with the Pats mojo during it?
And how do you explain our team getting another chance to elicit tears from the Whiny Bunch, a.k.a. LT, Merriman, Phillips and the rest of the crybabies from the left Coast, who still haven't stop bitching about New England players mocking Merriman's idiotic sack dance at midfield following that classic 24-21 comeback victory in San Diego last January?
Ho ho ho!
So the teams will meet again, this time in Foxborough, but at this point, does it really matter who lines up opposite the juggernaut that is the 2007 New England Patriots?
They've already beaten 4 of 5 supposed other "best teams" in the NFL this year --Indy, Jacksonville, Dallas and Pittsburgh -- not to mention already dismantled this very Chargers team, one that was chomping at the bit for revenge for that stinging postseason loss, back in Week 2 in Foxborough.
Throw in the fact that the Bolts are more banged up than Courtney Love after a 3-week bender, with QB Phillip Rivers, Tomlinson and TE Antonio Gates all nursing semi-significant injuries, and it shouldn't matter that we all know how hard it is to beat a good team three times in a row, should it?
Well, just ask the Cowboys about that one.
Go Pats. Kick the Chargers right in their whale's vagina.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Buckeyes blown out in the title game - AGAIN!
AllState BCS Championship Game
LSU 38, Ohio State 24
My Bowl Season Final Record: 15-17
For the second season in a row, the Ohio State Buckeyes went into the de facto National Championship game as the number one team in the country with high expectations and the best record in the land.
And for the second straight season the Suckeyes got rolled like a blunt by a vastly superior SEC school, following the 41-14 debacle in the desert against the Gators in last year's championship game.
This time the drubbing was administered by the LSU Tigers, who put a fitting stamp on this wacky college football season by becoming the first two-loss team to earn the title since the inception of the BCS a decade ago. Granted the two losses were both triple-overtime thrillers, but they came against Kentucky and Arkansas, two barely-bowl-eligible clubs.
Congratulations, LSU, you are officially the best team that the bowl commissioners and television executives thought should be vying for the honor.
That being said, I think we can all agree that the Buckeyes should hereby be banned from competing in the title game for the foreseeable future--as in, for the next decade. Last night's embarrassment stated loud and clear what Big 10 haters have been crowing about for years:
1.) the league is full of big, slow teams that cannot keep up with the speedier teams in the SEC, Pac 10 or even the Big 12 conference
2.) the league MUST implement a championship game in order to weed out potential fluke teams making it to BCS games (hello, Illinois) and to give their schools a shorter break between the end of the regular season and the bowls. I mean by the time Ohio State takes the field it must seem like spring practice to them, not a title match.
At least judging by how they play the game.
3.) I must have been under the influence of some powerful mind-altering substances to pick the Buckeyes to cover, especially after I had been telling everyone all week that they were going to get drilled--and I'm an OSU fan (by marriage)! damn inflated defensive stats against inferior competition!
Hey, I didn't just grab the moniker of World's Worst Gamler, I earned it.
And so one of the wildest college football seasons ever came to a conclusion not with a bang, but with a shrug. LSU are the National Champs--tell me who outside of bayou country gives a rat's ass? The only thing everyone is talking about is how much better Georgia and USC were than some of the other BCS bowl competitors, and how a playoff system has to be put in place in order to avoid disastrous pairings like USC/Illinois and Georgia/Hawaii, or even Mizzou/Arkansas for that matter.
Congratulations, NCAA school presidents and commissioners, you managed to take one of the most topsy-turvy, thrilling, anything goes seasons and turn it into a battle cry for reform that culminated with a yawner of a title game and a twice-beaten national champ.
Only 9 more months until we have to go through it all again.
Monday, January 07, 2008
It's OSU v LSU for all the beads on Bourbon Street
Recent Results:
-International Bowl
Rutgers 52, Ball State 30
-GMAC Bowl
Toledo 63, Bowling Green 7
My Bowl Season Record: 15-16
BCS Title game
Ohio State (11-1) vs. LSU (11-2)
New Orleans 8:00PM FOX
Line: LSU -4
It's here.
The biggest game of the 2007 college football season has finally arrived. Who cares if it's already a week into 2008?
The Ohio State Buckeyes, who haven't played a down of meaningful football since they won their annual blood feud with the Michigan Wolverines on November 17th, will attempt to avenge their title game trouncing a year ago against the Gators, another contest in which the Bucks had a year and a day between games.
Will the second time be the charm? Or will another loss force the Big 10 powers-that-be to get their heads out of their archaic asses and implement a conference championship game like nearly every other major conference has, in order to prevent the inevitable rust that comes with a 50+-day layoff.
While the Buckeyes are rested and (presumably) ready, the Tigers are chomping at the bit to prove they deserve to become the first 2-loss team to win the title in the BCS era.
After leapfrogging several worthy candidates (USC & Georgia to name two) by beating Tennessee in the SEC Championship Game on the final weekend of the season, many believe that the Bayou Bengals were rewarded based on, well,...no one's really sure why they were rewarded with a berth in this game.
In fact, there has been a major outcry for a playoff system this season (more so than usual) because no one can really figure out why a team that lost twice (albeit both in triple overtime) and surrendered 27 PPG over its last 5 games was rewarded with such an honor.
But the past is the past and we all know the BCS committee members are jackasses, so here we are: a battle royal between the top defensive teams in the country--Ohio State allowed just under 11PPG-- and one of the flashiest offenses in the land for all the marbles.
So as Bobby 'Grandpa' Knight once said, why don't we just lay down and enjoy it?
The Tigers, who averaged nearly 39 points per game, will rely on the two-headed QB tandem of Matt Flynn and Ryan Perrilloux. Flynn is more of a traditional dropback passer, while Perrilloux more of a scrambler. Both have had success running the LSU offense, mainly because they have a solid group of receiver and backs lining up beside them. RB Jacob Hester racked up over 1000 yards and 11 TDs on the ground, while speedster Early Doucette, who had been hampered by a groin injury, leads a trio of talented receivers.
Oh, and don't forget about Glenn Dorsey, LSU's all-everything defensive lineman, who could be the first pick in the NFL draft in April, is the man who makes the LSU defense go.
Ohio State is anchored by quarterback Todd Boeckman, who has been shaky lately but still threw for 2100 yards and 23 TDs, and running back Chris Beanie Wells. Wells, a scintillating sophomore, had 1463 yards and 14 TDs despite missing most of the Kent Stae game with an injury. His ground gains, along with receivers Brian Robiskie and Brian Hartline (15 TD combined), will be the main weapon for the Buckeyes.
The offense certainly isn't as dynamic as LSU's, but with a stifling defense, it didn't have to be. They'll need to be more so tonight in order to pull the upset.
Speaking of the defense, it's keyed by linebacker James Laurinaitis, the son of a wrestler who plays like a madman all over the field, and sackmaster Vernon Gholston. Both leader of the D that allowed a mere 88 points this season will be fired up to avenge last year's Gator embarrassment before they jump to the pros.
In short it's an old fashioned matchup of offense vs. defense, with the more superior unit winning out. Which will it be? I think LSU will have a bit too much for OSU to handle, but I like the Buckeyes to keep it close, and cover the number.
Overtime, anyone?
MY PICK: LSU 27, OSU 24
Friday, January 04, 2008
All hail Mangenius! Jayhawks upset Hokies in Orange Bowl
Yesterday's Bowl result:
Fed Ex Orange Bowl (VT -3)
Kansas 24, Virginia Tech 21
My Pick: Kansas 27-24
My Bowl record: 14-15
Of course I'm referring to myself in the title as well as the coach of the Jayhawks, as not only did Mark Mangino's pesky Kansas squad knock off the mighty Hokies, but I picked the margin within three points of each team.
I know, my arm's starting to hurt again from patting myself on the back. I'm gonna get a sling soon.
But let's just say I needed to pull an upset like that to get me near .500 for this Bowl Season, and all it took was using the age-old philosophy of going against the team everyone was picking, and voila, one upset special, coming right up.
The irony of the game, aside from the fact that everyone outside of the heartland was picking Kansas to get crushed in the game, is that the Jayhawks didn't win by outscoring Va Tech with their high-powered offense, but by burning the Hokies with a taste of their own medicine--with special teams and defense.
Kansas played spectacularly on special teams (aside from allowing an 84-yard kick return for a touchdown), using a blocked field goal, a successful fake punt, and returning a missed field goal to mid-field to stun the Hokies at their own game sprinkled in with booming punts that created poor field position for Tech all night long.
When the special teamers weren't on the field, the unheralded Kansas defense was stifling the two-headed quarterback tandem of Tyrod Taylor and Sean Glennon, holding the two Hokie passers to just 171 yards in the air and forcing three interceptions between the pair. the Jayhawks sacked the Hokies hurlers four times in the first quarter alone, setting the tone for what would be a shaky night on offense for VT.
Not that Kansas was much better. Coming in averaging 44 PPG, the Jayhawk offense produced just 17 points, with the other seven coming on a 60-yard interception return for a touchdown by all-name team member Aqib Talib late in the first quarter.
Although RB Brandon ore led the Hokies downfield for a touchdown just minutes before the first half ended, for some reason Frank Beamer went away from the power running game in the second half and left his QBs to drive the offense, and the plan backfired badly as Taylor and Glennon appeared badly overmatched almost on every play.
So the BCS finally got a competitive game, and for fans of the underdog, something to enjoy other than another whitewashing by a heavy favorite. Actually with West Virginia's mountaineering of the Sooners, the BCS has now had two upsets and two blowouts, with the big game set for Monday night in bayou country.
Until then we've got a couple of turd bowls to pad the schedule with as we sink out teeth into NFL Playoff football this weekend. Whose fucking idea was it to schedule a bowl game in Toronto on the first day of the postseason, anyway? That certainly wasn't a stroke of (man)genius.
What am I complaining about, if I pick those two turds right, I'll be one game over .500 going into the title game, leaving it to the title game to make or break my season.
In that case, bring on the...
International Bowl
Rutgers (7-5) vs. Ball State (7-5)
Sat, Toronto Noon ESPN2
Line: Rutgers -10 1/2
The game has been hyped more for the two schools most famous alums--RU's James Gandolfini and BSU's David Letterman--than for the two teams involved. But what do you expect with a filler game north of the border on the first Saturday of NFL playoff action?
What you should expect is a lot of yards from Rutger's dynamic tailback Ray Rice(1732 yds, 20TDs), who averages 144 YPG and will be facing a defense that allows 200 yards on the ground per game. Can you say "NFL showcase game" for the sure-to-jump junior?
Ball State likes to pass behind QB Nate Davis (3376 yds, 27TDs), but Rutgers is second in the nation in pass defense, so they might be able to contain Davis and the Cardinals attack.
Still, I find it hard to give the Scarlet Knights a 10+ advantage over anyone after their disappointing season, and I'm not inclined to do so here. I like Letterman's boys to hold it close against Soprano & Schiano's goons and make a game of it up north.
The question is, will anybody friggin' see it?
MY PICK: Rutgers 39, Ball State 31
Thursday, January 03, 2008
So close, yet...ah never mind-thanks, Sooners!
Yesterday's Bowl results:
-Fiesta Bowl (OU -7)
West Virginia 48, Oklahoma 28
MY PICK: Oklahoma 37-21
My Bowl Season Record: 13-15
Don't worry, Bob Stoops, the cards are in the mail.
As in the thank you cards from June Jones & Colt Brennan, Ron Zook & Juiceless Williams, and Jim Leavitt & Matt Grothe, showing their appreciation for taking their teams' dismal bowl performances out of the spotlight and helping bestow the honor of the biggest bowl gag job to Stoops' under performing Sooner squad.
How bad was West Virginia's whipping of the previously potent Oklahoma club? WVU interim coach Bill Stewart not only became the first of seven fill-in skippers to win a bowl game this season, but he was also awarded the permanent job directly after the game based on his team's professed love of their humble leader, a fact that was evident in the way they played for the longtime assistant to exiled Rich Rodriguez.
The Sooners, who many experts believed could have staked a claim to best team in the country with a win, laid a gigantic egg against the speedier, hungrier Mountaineers, as WVU rolled up 525 yards of offense, including a staggering 349 on the ground against one of the nation's stingiest run defending teams, and consequently Stoops lost his fourth consecutive BCS bowl game.
Why the fuck didn't I see that one coming?
But I don't feel too bad, as just about everyone had the Mountaineers getting crushed, especially after they blew a shot at the national title by losing to Pitt in their season finale, then watching as their beloved coach Rodriguez bolted for Michigan shortly thereafter.
So instead of leveling my record at 14-14, I stand 2 games below .500 with four more games to go. That's what I get for trusting a pimply-faced freshman QB, who got sacked when a midget cornerback brushed by him and knocked him over early in the first quarter.
Nice performance, Sam Bradford. Pick up some Clearasil and some balls and maybe they'll let you come back next year.
Now it's up to the Orange Bowl to salvage some BCS dignity and give us one competitive game before the championship game Monday. But with the upstart Kansas Jayhawks taking on a veteran and tough-as-nails Virginia Tech team, it looks like BCS blowout #4 could be on the way tonight.
-Fed Ex Orange Bowl
Kansas (11-1) vs. Virginia Tech (11-2)
Miami 815PM FOX
Line: Va Tech -3
Most people believe the newbie Jayhawks, who are playing in their first post-New Years Day bowl game since the Summer of Love, are going to get rolled by the defensively stout Hokies, who allow just 15 PPG and have played in big bowls for the better part of the last decade.
Throw in the fact tha Va Tech is playing with extra determination in the memory of the 32 students & faculty members who were killed in the massacre on campus last April, and this one is shaping up to be a one-sided affair.
But that's what everyone thought about the OU/WVU game, too, where another defensive team was supposed to shut out a high-powered offensive club, and look what happened there.
The key to the Hokies is their perennially solid D and outstanding special teams play, while Kansas' miraculous rise from the dregs of the NCAA was built upon a flashy offense and smart decision making, i.e few turnovers and penalties. Most believe the experienced Hokies will trash the flash-in-the-pan 'Hawks, but the more I think about it, the more I'm saying hold on a minute there.
On the heels of that Fiesta Bowl shocker, I've decided I'm gonna go against the grain here and choose the Jayhawks to pull the upset. Sure they got dissected by Mizzou in the last big game they played, on November 24th in a battle of top 5 teams. And maybe they haven't been to the big dance as many times as Va Tech, and they don't have a coach as well-respected as Frank Beamer.
But what they do have is a potent offense, which averaged 44 PPG, led by QB Todd Reesing (3259 yards, 32 TDs, 6 INTs), and a decent defense as well (16PPG allowed, albeit against inferior competition.) But they do have the Man-genius, coach Mark Mangino, plus they have that "we're not supposed to be here, so what do we have to lose?" attitude that a team needs to overcome the adversity they will face from the fearless Hokies.
But the main reason for my pick is I just want to go against the grain and hope I can look like a mangenius if the upset does come in. It's easy to back the favorite, right?
After all, what do I have to lose?
MY PICK: Kansas 27, Va Tech 24
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Happy New Year indeed!
A 5-1 record on the first day of 2008 brings me one step closer to .500 for the Bowl season
Yesterday's Bowl results:
-Outback Bowl (UT -1 1/2)
Tennessee 21, Wisconsin 17 MY PICK: Tennessee 31, Wisconsin 24
The Vols hung on at RayJay after questionable late-game decision-making by the Badgers coaches cost them a shot at the win
-Cotton Bowl (MIZZ - 3 1/2)
Missouri 38, Arkansas 7 MY PICK: Mizzou 45, Hogs 38
The Tigers, behind 281 rush yds and 4 TDs from Tony Temple, proved they should have been in a BCS bowl with a thorough dismantling of Darren McFadden and the hapless Hogs
-Gator Bowl (TTU - 6)
Texas Tech 31, Virginia 28 MY PICK: Tech 27, UVA 24
The Cavs somehow blew a 28-14 4th quarter lead when they allowed 17 points in the final 3:30; Tech's Graham Harrell threw for 407 yards on 69 attempts
-Capitol One Bowl (UF -10)
Michigan 41, Florida 35 MY PICK: Florida 34, Michigan 31
Lloyd Carr went out with a bang as the departing Michigan coach out-tricked his Florida counterpart, and the Wolverines held Heisman winner Tim Tebow to a mere 211 toal yards
-Rose Bowl (USC -14)
USC 49, Illinois 17 MY PICK: USC 35, Illinois 20
A close game in the middle of the second quarter turned into a rout when an Illini fumble at the goal line in a 21-10 game led to 28 unanswered points for the Trojans, highlighted by John David Booty's 3 TDs and freshman Joe McKnight's 170 all-purpose yards
-Sugar Bowl (UGA -8)
Georgia 41, Hawaii 17 MY PICK: Georgia 36, Hawaii 34
The Dawgs, like USC before them, laid thier claim to the "best team in the land" title as they absolutely gashed the previously undefeated but obviously untested Rainbow Warriors. The swarming Georgia D sacked Heisman finalist Colt Brennan 8 times and made him look like another system QB on his way to being an footnote in the record books
My Record for the day: 5-1
MY 2007 BOWL SEASON RECORD: 13-14
Now I don't like to brag, and far be it for me to pat myself on the back, but...
..how 'bout some love for my near-perfect day of picking that brought me back from
prognosticating purgatory and put me squarely on the brink of respectability, with a chance to even my record tonight and potentially...wait for it...FINISH THE BOWL SEASON WITH A RECORD ABOVE .500!!!
Ow, my friggin' arm hurts now!
Forgive me for getting a bit carried away, but for anyone who has followed my selections over the past two seasons (and for the select few, for my entire life) know that last season I was so bad that the records have since been destroyed, but this year started out even worse.
As in 1-5, 2-6, 8-13 bad.
Suddenly, just as odd occurrences such as a Dick Clark robotronic puppet with the voice of a chain smoker appearing on New years Rockin Eve and a hockey game being televised on national television on New Years Day were happening, I went and did the unthinkable:
I went 8-4 over the two-day, 12 bowl extravaganza that spanned the holiday, including a spectacular 5-1 showing yesterday, with only the hapless Hawaii Rainbow "Warriors" running what could have been a perfect start to the new year for me.
Mele Kalikimaka my ass, muthafuckers!
What's that you say? A monkey grinding Ron Zook's organ could have gone 5-1 with the games that went on yesterday? I say maybe so, but I don't give a flying fig what the other experts do, as long as I can hold my head high knowing that my meaningless picks on this obscure blog that haven't cost me a cent could have helped some schlub looking for gambling advice almost break even after 11 days and 27 games.
Redemption song, indeed.
So now it's put up or shut up time. Five bowl games left, and I need to go 3-2 to break even. Can it be done? Sure. What will it get me? A years worth of self satisfaction. And you can't put a price tag on that.
Bowl on.
Tonight's Game:
Tostitos Fiesta Bowl
Oklahoma (11-2) vs. West Virginia (10-2)
Glendale 8:00 FOX
Line: Oklahoma - 7 1/2
A few weeks ago this one looked like a terrific matchup. Both West Virginia and Oklahoma were on the cusp of being title contenders, needing victories in their final games to lock up a potential Championship Game bid.
Then the world came crashing down on the Mountaineers. First they gagged against lowly Pittsburgh, losing 13-9 at home to the 4-7 Panthers, and then lost coach Rich Rodriguez to Michigan just days later.
Oklahoma didn't seem to have it as bad as they routed then-Number 1 Missouri 38-17 in the Big 12 Championship game on December 1st, a victory that many thought would have vaulted them into the BCS title game against the Buckeyes on Jan 7.
Too bad the BCS powers that be didn't believe it, as not only did the Sooners get snubbed in favor of fellow 2-loss team LSU, but adding insult to insult, are now forced to travel back to the Fiesta in Glendale, the scene of last January's embarrassing but historic loss to upstart Boise State, 43-42.
Talk about getting the shaft.
So which slighted team will be more motivated to pull this one off? The team that ended this season with a humiliating defeat and then saw its coach high-tail it for another school, or the one that thought it should be playing for all the chips, but is instead left holding another stale bag of Tostitos?
Of course the key to stopping the Mountaineers is containing electric runners Pat White and Steve Slaton, a feat that has been accomplished by lesser defenses than OU's (namely USF's, twice.) With White, the run-first QB, being banged up more than an 86 Hyundai lately, and Slaton seemingly having one foot into his NFL career already, the bulk of the WVU offense might be on speedy freshman Noel devine, and don't expect him to carry the load against the swarming Sooners.
That would mean that Oklahoma, led by solid QB Sam Bradford (2800+ yards, 34 TDs), will need to score enough points not only to overcome whatever West Virginia puts up, but at least a touchdown more in order to cover the number. Hmmmm. But for a team in the top 10 in the nation in scoring and defense, that shouldn't be a problem.
My guess is that the Sooners take a page from Mizzou, USC and Georgia and use a lesser bowl game (yes, I'm talking to you, Rose Bowl Committee) to prove that they, not any of the other contenders, are the best team in the land. That means the flashy yet underachieving Mountaineers will have to add yet another disappointment to their season.
Cheer up, Morgantowners. Maybe Rodriguez will pull a Billy Donovan.
MY PICK: Oklahoma 37, WVU 21
