Did I forget Jason Johnson was pitching?!

SOX GET PUMMELED INTO OBLIVION, 12-4


I believe that in my giddiness over the potential outcome this series brought to the table that I forgot the GOD-AWFUL Jason Johnson was starting the opening game. This is the type of series when Boston not trading for an arm at the deadline REALLY comes back to bite 'em.
The good news: this one was about as ugly as it gets for Boston, so things have to get better in game 2, right? How ugly was it? In this case, the numbers do tell the story:

1. Judas Demon led off the game with a Triangle Triple; he went on to homer as well, and his line read:3-6, 3R, 4RBI, 1 sliding catch, immeasureable energy boost
2. Abreu: 4-5 +1BB & 1R, took about 50 pitches in his 6 ABs
3. The Stanks pounded out 16 hits, had 7 walks, scored 12, and left a staggering 25 men on base; 6 Stanks had at least 2 hits
4. Boston "hurlers" (appropriate moniker for this bunch) Johnson, Snyder, MattapanManny, and Rudy Seanez threw a mind-boggling 206 pitches
5. New York batted around twice in the last 3 innings when they blew the game open, turning it from 4-3 to 12-3 in a blur
6. Boston hitters went 0-15 w/ RISP, the worst such performance this year in MLB

There were a few good things to come out of this pile of toxic waste:

1. Newly acquired Eric Hinske doubled 3 times in 4 ABs, made a nice catch at the bullpen, but also lost a ball in the sun in right
2. Manny hit his 33rd homer (93RBI), a Pesky-Pole solo shot in the 5th
3. Alex Gonzalez knocked in 3 of the 4 runs
4. Mark Loretta had 3 doubles
5. Boston had 9 hits, 8 for extra bases (8-2Bs, 1 HR)

And that's about it. By the time sacrificial lamb Seanez got the final out of the bloody 9th, half the park was already spread throughout Kenmore Square, drowning their sorrows and priming up for the nightcap. The other half was throwing up their Kegs & Eggs breakfast the Cask was serving beginning at 9:00 am. But as the saying goes, all together now- "it's only one game"- and the Human Keg himself, Sir Sidney Ponson, takes the hill at 8:05 tonight, so as long as the Sox can split this doubleheader, most of the Nation will sleep easier tonight.

Until Johnson has to take the mound again (although it may not be for the Sox)

Interesting sidenote: WMP pinch-hit for Man-Ram in the 8th when the game was still "close", 8-4; more Manny Being Manny?