Final T.O. Update of 2006

The latest report from Unhappy Valley is that the "allergic reaction/swallowed the whole bottle/I want to kill myself" saga was -wait for it- a misunderstanding. In other words, when T.O.'s publicist found him in an incoherent state on his bed with an empty bottle of pain pills next to him, immediately called 911 when he was unresponsive to her commands, and he was rushed to the emergency room to have his stomach pumped, that was just a misunderstanding.

You see, what had happened wuz he was just chillin at home, you know popping some pain pills for his injured pinkie and swilling ("natural") supplements to keep his already cartoon-like physique pumped to maximum volumetric pressure. Suddenly, due an an unsafe level of air in his huge cranium he felt he just needed to lie down for a while, on account he was feelin' a tad tipsy from the combo of liftin', swillin' & poppin'. Next thing he knew that nosy publicist called 911, he was put in an ambulance and wound up at Baylor Medical Center.

It's quite obvious that this is yet another "look at me" stunt from the Queen of all Media Attention; to prove he is completely fine and sane he reported to the practice facility today, gave an "oops, sorry guys" press conference, and caught a few passes to show everyone how fit he is.
Sorry, T-O.D., but that little schtick ain't gonna cut it. Get yourself checked into a health care facility and step away from the spotlight that you need continually shining on you, you narcissistic, prima dona, egotistical, homophobic, over rated pile of crap.

You don't catch passes with your brain, jackass. Get help and get lost.