Monday, August 21, 2006

2 hours til...ah forget it...hide the sharp objects

GM 5 is 2 hours away, but around 9 hours ago The Nation lost its reason to care. Let's face it, the Stanks have put this season into proper perspective for all of us: there will be no playoffs in the Hub this year, and even if there are, it will be a brief and bloody affair. Unless Boston gets a complete pitching transfusion between now and then, it looks like the 2006 season officially ended for Boston at 1:28AM this morning.
Oh I know what non-Nation members are saying- you still have the Wild Card. Ah, last time I checked, the Sox are still 4 1/2 out of that race, with 2 superior teams in front of them (CHI, MIN). Besides, the Wild Card is getting to be a tired fallback for these second-fiddlers. Remember, it was less than 1 month ago when the Sox were sitting on a comfy 3 game lead over NY, and it was looking like this would be the year that we would stop being their runner-up bitches. And then this weekend happened- The Boston Massacre, Part Deux.
It's tough to put into words what has happened this weekend, and I'm nowhere near the city. But I know from experience that the entire region resembles an enormous tomb, with all The Nation's fans buried in it. It's like the Empire came to town and started The Big Dig II, then threw every member of the Nation into the smoking excavated pit. People are walking around like zombies, babbling about Damon and Giambi and Coco and Paps and other tidbits that insane people babble about when they've gone off the deep end. I know I haven't felt this numb since the 3rd game of the 2004 ALCS ended, after the beatdown endured at the hands of these same Stanks put a pit in my stomach I thought would never go away. But we still had games left, The Sox picked themselves off the mat (thanks to Dave Roberts and Papi) and the rest is history.
There will be no similar situation this year. I guarantee the Sox win today, a throwaway, meaningless game in the scheme of things now. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if Wells throws a no-hitter against his old mates; it wouldn't matter. the damage is done to the heart, minds, and psyche of the Nation, and one win will not erase that. Say it together: WE ARE NOT GOOD; THE STANKEES ARE BETTER; WE WILL NOT BE WINNING ANOTHER WORLD SERIES THIS YEAR; THE SOX FRONT OFFICE MADE A MAJOR MISTAKE BY LETTING DAMON GO. THEY MADE ANOTHER MISTAKE WHEN THEY DIDN'T TRADE FOR PITCHING AT THE DEADLINE. And we saw the results of those mistakes blow up in Theo & his henchmen's faces this weekend; his plan to "keep the kids and go with what we've got here" has been an unmitigated failure. One of those promising kids, last night's loser Craig Hansen, was shipped back to the PawSox today. Three pitchers sent packing in the past 3 days. Congrats, Theo, what you got there is a steaming pile of crap for pitching (with no lefties) and 2 superstar sluggers surrounded by a slew of Punch & Judy hitters.

No amount of self-help, self-medication, or self-flagellation will make anyone feel better after this dark weekend passes. My wife just asked me why I put myself through this stuff? Why do I keep watching when the games have this effect on me? I responded, rather curtly (sorry hun) that I HAVE NO CHOICE! They're not making huge bank off the slogan "Born Into It" for nothing! Believe me, if I could turn this on and off I would- I'm not a masochist (although before '04, RedSoxFan could have been a synonym for the word).
At least I don't think I am.
Well, it's almost game time so this masochist (alright, I admit it) is going to do what he does best: sit in front of the TV, watch and pray for some spark of hope, something to smile about...
...Demon breaking an arm still has a nice ring to it!
Ironically, as I'm blasting some tunes to "get in the zone" for the finale, what comes on but Def Leppard's "Bringin' on the Heartbreak". True that.

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