No Manny, no Papi- no mas!

... The Big Hurt just put a big hurtin' on the first pitch from his old teammate Keith Foulke to lead off the 7th to make it 6-0 Oakland, and this could be the day the music died for Boston. I can't watch these things anymore; now we've got Papi out for some unknown reason, scratched just before the game, and Carlos Pena makes his Sox debut. It's gotten so ugly that I found out in honor of the new hit film Invincible, starring Beantown's own Marky Mark Wahlberg, Tito is holding open auditions for players when the team returns to Fenway later this week. So bring your liveliest fastball, your mightiest swing, and your favorite broken-in mitt to Yawkey Way and you may just become the star of the next Disney sports flick...uh oh, Foulkie just gave up another bomb to Swisher, and as he does a spastic dance in the dugout after, I am going to turn this off, close my eyes, and think only one thing:

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?

Cause I sure am.
Goodnight, Boston.